They didn't act out of character though, they just didn't act like Spock. And why would anyone expect that some vulcans out of billions in one series act like some other vulcans out of billions in another series.
If it were just T'Pol who acted that way, then you could maybe just chalk it down to youthful arrogance that comes across badly thanks to cultural differences - in fact, that was the concept for Xon on Phase II. Heck, I could even accept Soval acting that way, since we've seen our fair share of crazy Starfleet ambassadors over the years, and the Vulcans doubtless have one or two as well.
But damn near every Vulcan we see in the first two seasons of Enterprise is incredibly arrogant, condescending, and full of themselves - it's even treated as a plot twist in "Fallen Hero" when V'Lar
doesn't behave like this - seemingly for the sole purpose of making the human characters look better by contrast. And let's be honest, even if it hadn't involved the Vulcans, "humans teach arrogant aliens the error of their ways" getting to be a pretty tired trope even by the time Enterprise started airing.
Has anyone ever accused Picard of not acting like a human because he's not like anyone on TOS?
That was at least inferred to be the result of cultural changes that occurred between the TOS movie era and the start of TNG - just the less militaristic appearance of the Enterprise-D compared to Kirk's ship, and Worf's being an officer on the ship were inference enough of that.
If there had been some explanation or inference from the start of
why the Vulcans were behaving so differently in the 22nd century, instead of Season 4's obvious (and yet still very good) fix-fic in the form of the Kir'Shara trilogy, it'd have been a lot less of an issue.