Voy Caption Contest #140 Neelix (Friend/fodder?) a J/7 moment and Kes

[Catarina]

If anyone has images they have and like to caption, send them my way!

Readyroom under gag award goes to Stardream

Janeway: Damn it Mr. Paris. I told you not to eat the Leota Root burritos.

Exactly how I imagined it caption award goes to JirinPanthosa!

KIM I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United Federation of Planets. And to the vaguely defined coalition of planets for which it stands. One state, under Q, with liberty and justice for everyone we like.

I can see it award goes to: A Chimpanzee and two Trainees

Chief Medical Officer's log - Seven has requested help learning to dance for the ship's Halloween bash. Mr. Paris has suggested something called.... "Thriller"...

Simple yet funny goes to the incomparable Triskelion!

Janeway: Great job, Mister Infinite Velocity.
Paris: Zzzzzzzzzz.........

Kim is apparently a terrible liar! :P

I'm convinced that's why he got remoted: award to Tharpdevenport

Paris: "Hey, Harry, how are you do -- wait, is that an I Voted sticker instead of your comm badge?"

Harry: "Ah, ah..." covers it.

Paris: "No wonder you never get promoted. I have lizard babies with the captain -- that's how you get promoted."

And Candelight:

"Hand on my heart captain, I'm at my station contacting the aliens now."
"Mr Kim, I'm on the bridge."
"Shit."

Winner: Mr. Lazer Beam

The Emergency Librarian Hologram will open fire if you don't SSSHH!

Congrats!

New week of randoms

 

[LeadHead]

Re: Voy Caption Contest #140 Neelix (Friend/fodder?) a J/7 moment and

Neelix: Fine, if I'm not appreciated here, I'll just sleep on my ship!

Neelix walks away.

Tuvok: Tuvok to Bridge. Prepare to execute program Tuvok Zeta 3.

Paris: (over comm) Dump a ship out of the shuttlebay then go to warp 9?

Tuvok: Precisely.

Seven: It makes no sense that you have Lieutenant Paris becoming a new nurse. There are many scientific personnel aboard who would be far better suited to the position and have assisted here before.

Janeway: It's season 4, from here on out, we won't concern ourselves with precedents set by earlier episodes.

Seven: This food is offensive.

Neelix: Never mind, I won't introduce you to Yelp.

Lien: Don't worry Bob, they say that once they start season 4 next year, you'll have a lot to do.

Picardo: What about you?

Lien: They hinted something big will happen early in the season...

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: Voy Caption Contest #140 Neelix (Friend/fodder?) a J/7 moment and

On Stardate 51128 Neelix was asked to remove himself from his place of residence; that request came from his wife. Deep down, he knew she was right, but he also knew that some day he would return to her. With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of his friend, Commander Tukov. Several years earlier, Tuvok's wife had thrown HIM out, requesting that HE never return. Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?

KES: A accidentally kneed him in the testicles.

PARIS: He's a hologram. They're not real.

EMH: They're real to me!!!!!!

JANEWAY: Not seeing a zipper or clasps. Looks like going to the bathroom might be a problem.

NEELIX: Dinner for one? Who am I kidding, of course it's dinner for one.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Re: Voy Caption Contest #140 Neelix (Friend/fodder?) a J/7 moment and

Tuvok: "Mr. Neelix, what are you doing up so late?"

Neelix: "Oh, Kes kicked me out of her quarters again."

Tuvok: "Funny, sensors indicate you have never been in her quarters."

Neelix: "Hug me, I'm lonely."

Tuvok: Taps his comm badge, "Tuvok to ensign Kim, you are needed on deck four."

 

[Finn]

Re: Voy Caption Contest #140 Neelix (Friend/fodder?) a J/7 moment and

Tuvok: Humans don't appericate rodents slumbering around where their food are stored and cooked. Frankly, neither do Vulcans. Please use your quarters, Mr. Neelix

Neelix: But..But, Mom slept...

Tuvok: I don't care what your mother did.

 

[Leviathan]

Re: Voy Caption Contest #140 Neelix (Friend/fodder?) a J/7 moment and

Kes: Cowboy...what has happened to your hair?
Doctor: I had it done, Clint Eastwood Style. You see the Outlaw Jose Wales? What a flick.

Picardo: Ok, who switched scripts again?!?!

 

[tharpdevenport]

Re: Voy Caption Contest #140 Neelix (Friend/fodder?) a J/7 moment and

Kes: "That's what I look like in twelve years?"

 

[2takesfrakes]

Re: Voy Caption Contest #140 Neelix (Friend/fodder?) a J/7 moment and

"Neelix, what is the pearlescent, globular substance in the center of this food?"

"Oh! I'm glad you asked me that, Seven. I like to put a little bit of myself into everything I make."

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Re: Voy Caption Contest #140 Neelix (Friend/fodder?) a J/7 moment and

NEELIX: A dog bed?
TUVOK: It's crew evaluation day.

Captain Janeway tried to sneeze away from Seven, and instead sprayed her while she was turning.

SEVEN: What is it?
NEELIX: Macaroni and Cheese.
SEVEN: Good.
NEELIX: The 'cheese' sauce is made with leola root.
SEVEN: We're 40,000 light years away, how do you keep getting leola root?!
NEELIX: Leola root grows on every planet in the delta quadrant.

DOC: I wrote a program to give myself a tummy ache to see what it's like to be human.
KES: I think you're handling it rather well.
DOC: Why does the crew keep rolling their eyes at me?
KES: No idea. Hey, maybe next you can write a program to make your program delete itself after nine years.

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Re: Voy Caption Contest #140 Neelix (Friend/fodder?) a J/7 moment and

New week of randoms

Random!? They're all connected!

Mr. Neelix, I have observed you exiting the cargo bay multiple times during my morning rounds. Is there an issue with your quarters?

Issue? Well...uhh..ahh... no, Mr. Vulcan...not at all...

I believe one of my nutritional implants is malfunctioning. I have been experiencing persistent nausea, and tissue expansion.

It's called pregnancy, Seven. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me, but you can't hide this forever.

I have been researching pregnancy. It is a flawed process. It appears that I am to bear all the physical discomfort while your participation in this process is largely ended.

I'm surprised, Seven. "You did this to me" isn't supposed to happen for months. Now try some of these highly nutritious supplements...

Dr: Neelix and Seven?! Neelix and Seven?! But I was making so much progress...

Neelix and Seven?! Neelix and Seven?!

Kes: Thank goodness you're here, Harry. When the Doctor found out he went into a feedback loop.

Dr: ... and I'll have to deliver the baby...

 

[Catarina]

Re: Voy Caption Contest #140 Neelix (Friend/fodder?) a J/7 moment and

You're on to me, A Chimpanzee with two Trainees!
I'm calling you AC2T except when you win because everyone deserves to be addressed properly when awarded. And from the looks of these, you stand a good chance.

 

[Triskelion]

Re: Voy Caption Contest #140 Neelix (Friend/fodder?) a J/7 moment and

T4TWSA and all your kind words, Catarina! The feeling is mutual!

Neelix: Guess why I'm exhausted.
Tuvok: Practicing interspecies diplomacy with some Delta Quadrant bimbo you found simmering in the holodeck's memory buffer?
Neelix: Nope! Some Vulcan milf named T'Pel.

Janeway: Nice! Firm, curvy, and no discernible wear and tear!
Seven: I beg your !@#$% pardon?!
Janeway: I was referring to the biobed cushion.
Seven: Oh, well that's all right then.
Janeway: Thanks, ti-, I mean toots.

Seven: And just how am I supposed to eat this?
Neelix: Oh if I had a nickel for every Ocampan runaway who ever said that to me....

Kes: Can we get a lollipop over here?

http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[Triskelion]

Re: Voy Caption Contest #140 Neelix (Friend/fodder?) a J/7 moment and

Janeway: Oh Heaven of Mine! Assimilate me into your collective!
Seven: Oh Arachnia! Entangle me in your web!
Paris: Computer, save program under "Best Case Scenario"!

 

[Hutchy01]

Re: Voy Caption Contest #140 Neelix (Friend/fodder?) a J/7 moment and

Doc: A Chimpanzee and 2 Trainees ... sounds like the rest of my staff!

 

[stardream]

Re: Voy Caption Contest #140 Neelix (Friend/fodder?) a J/7 moment and

Well I don't know Mr. Vulcan. Not that I don't appreciate the offer.

Seven, are you sure you are human? You seem to have grown a tail.

And then I'll tell you all about the Great Forest where all your Drone friends will be waiting for you.

[/QUOTE]

He just watched Mr. Paris successfully perform neurosurgery.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Re: Voy Caption Contest #140 Neelix (Friend/fodder?) a J/7 moment and

Neelix: "Pumpkin spice!"

 

[Drob]

Re: Voy Caption Contest #140 Neelix (Friend/fodder?) a J/7 moment and

For my fellow coeliacs/celiacs:

Neelix: Your favourite dish, topped with tiny croutons. Enjoy.

Kes: Eggnog, it was the eggnog. We think.

 

[Finn]

Re: Voy Caption Contest #140 Neelix (Friend/fodder?) a J/7 moment and

Kes: Tom, you didn't really put 100 years worth of memories about being stuck in sickbay in him

Tom: (OS) No....It was Harry

Harry: (OS) Tom!

 

[Drone]

Re: Voy Caption Contest #140 Neelix (Friend/fodder?) a J/7 moment and

Mr. Neelix you have resided here long enough and the crew has done everything in its power to make you welcome. Now, I order you to stop absconding Starfleet issue property to load your ship with yet more saleable merchandise!!!

Seven, I really do hesitate to say this, but you stink!! Consult with the Doctor immediately on the necessity of certain hygienic standards or else we'll have to have him whip up a supply of nasal osmotic sealant for the whole damned crew!!!

Now don't worry, Seven. That's just one of Kes's old spawn beetles that makes its way in here now and then. I swear none of those critters or its body parts has gotten into your sumptuous repast!

[/QUOTE]

Captain, I'm afraid that sudden and extreme drops in his perceived body temperature is a sign of the onset of his holologium.

 

[Finn]

Re: Voy Caption Contest #140 Neelix (Friend/fodder?) a J/7 moment and

Janeway: (OS) What happened to him?

Kes: He came across an old holoprogram Joe Carey had when he was on the Enterprise. Something called a gag gift from a Geordi.

Janeway: What was the holoprogram about?

Kes: Some ship called the NX-01. Something about a search for an Andorian girl and the Federation Charter. He played the Chef.