VOY Caption Contest 105; An Ill-fated Venture...

[Ln X]

Adobe Flash Player 11.6 seems to have cured itself of its irksomeness, thank God! Sorry for all the delays but that's by the by now.

And now...

Robert Beltran: Can I come out now? Is the series over yet?

Computer: Warning, by using a phaser in close proximity to this console, the warranty is now void.

Teraquads...of...porn....

TUVOK: Mr Suter, I am now transferring to you my feelings about Neelix. You will know what to do.

Tuvok: Keep...perfectly...still...Lieutenant.

Tom: I...don't...think...it's...working....

Janeway: Well?? Isn't anyone going to comment on my new hairdo?

The special award goes to...

JANEWAY: Get to work, people! You don't get paid to stand around!

TUVOK: Actually, Captain. We don't get paid at all.

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Most of these pictures I got from the beginning of the series and in particular from Caretaker, as always fire away!

The next caption contest will start on the 18th of March.

Enjoy!

 

[Ln X]

Tom: More lambs for the slaughter...
First officer: Sorry?

Chakotay: Captain, your hairpiece at the back is slipping off!
Janeway: Damn wigs!

Technobabble Fridays was how the senior staff dubbed the Friday staff meeting concerning engineering.

Trying to open up Tuvok's emotions was just like opening up Pandora's Box...

Janeway: Gee you would think the Caretaker would give the Ocampans the ability to breed more than once...

 

[hux]

Cavit: I'm dynamic, exciting, brilliantly gifted and creative and i never sit back and ignore when my captain's being irrational
Harry: Well lets hope nothing bad happens to you and you get replaced by a spineless stereotype

Tuvok sending text: Talaxian is an idiot, lol, smiley face

Janeway: If you see anything on your away mission that vibrates and is about this big.....
Torres: gotcha

Tuvok: I do not see the logic in creating a game called "point at the Vucan"

Chakotay: God, she's awful....i hope i don't end up spending roughly seven years with her

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

Thank you for the win

Cavit: Hi, I'm Lieutenant Commander Cavit. Obviously I die early as I'm being a jerk and wasn't even given a first name.
Janeway: [thinking] But he still has more character than Mr Kim ever would in seven years.

Neelix never suspected he was leading the march for his firing squad.

Janeway: It was so cold in my ready room this morning--bing--nipple town.

Neelix would forever remember this as the day he lost a finger. For Tuvok it was the only decent thing he ever had to eat in the mess hall.

Janeway: Ready people? And commence strutting.

 

[Riker's Libido]

Janeway: OK... left right left right. We'e Starfleet officers, let's walk like it. Sync up, damnit.

 

[Riker's Libido]

Neelix: Let me hear you say THIS SH*T IS PAJAMAS, P-A-J-A-M-A-S!

Everyone Else: THIS SH*T IS PAJAMAS! P-A-J-A-M-A-S!

 

[Riker's Libido]

Harry: Hi my name is Harry, and I do blah blah blah on the ship.

Cavit: Hi my name is Cavit, and I'm a manhole inspector.

Janeway: *snickers*

 

[TommyR01D]

Cavit: This ship is big on protocol. For instance, if the Captain says "Brace for Impact!", you MUST brace in your own chair, even if that means running halfway across the room.

 

[Finn]

Cavit: I see a great career ahead of you, Ensign Kim. If you work with me, I'll make sure you make first officer within five years!

Torres and Janeway: Abramsverse Particles!

Janeway: Damn it! The mall directory clearly showed a Starbucks at this corner

 

[Captain Kathryn]

Harry (thinking): Wow, I can't wait to tell my parents about this! My last name is Kim although I am clearly Chinese.
Cavit (thinking): Suspicious...my name wasn't on the opening credits. Well, at least I won't have to battle the Borg!
Tom (thinking): Force a smile...you don't want to go back to prison.
Janeway (thinking): God, I have to pee SO bad...

Chakotay (thinking): This desert is drier than Janeway's coochie. Wait, why am I thinking about the Captain's coochie?!
Tuvok: Captain, my scans indicate the Talaxian does, in fact, need a shave.

B'Elanna: You're sure it was that big!?
Janeway: Yes, I saw it with my own eyes! Commanding a starship isn't the only thing Chakotay is skilled at...
B'Elanna: Damn, I should have gotten with him while I had the chance.

Tuvok: If this is your feeble attempt at initiating a mating ritual, Mr. Neelix, I'm afraid I will have to decline.

Janeway: Chakotay, you'll have to change your outfit if you're going to be my first officer.
Chakotay: No, I am a Maquis!
Janeway: Not for long!
Chakotay: Ok, Captain. Hand me the onesie.

 

[DeepSpaceWine]

Kim thinks "Heh. This guy has redshirt written all over him. I'm gonna survive more of the series than he ever will!"

The Abbey Road of the Delta Quadrant.
Neelix, Paris, Janeway, and Chakotay, with manager Tuvok in tow visit their adoring (albeit a motley crew) fans, the Kazon.

Tuvok undergoes the deepest, most intrusive test of his self-discipline, proving he has mastery over his emotions if he can withstand the kal-shon-nak or the "cheek pull".








.

 

[Triskelion]

Janeway: Commander Cavit, Ensign Harry Kim.
Cavit: Nice to meet you, uh...
Harry: Kim. Call me Harry.
Cavit: Do what now?
Harry: Ensign Harry Kim.
Cavit: Nice to meet you, uh...
Harry: Harry Kim!
Cavit: No, that's Paris. Bif Paris. And you are?
Harry: Dammit!

Neelix: It's a good thing you brought dustbusters, I get the worst sand crotch.

I'm going to need you to design me some bun supports. I plan on rocking this look across the quadrant.

Vulcans can't resist a good plastic worm.

Janeway: Keep a determined pace, people. No matter where you go in the galaxy, you get respect with a good determined pace.

Syphilitic Hobo: That's the third time those tourists have walked by. Think I'll stab one.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"Ah. Mr. Kim. Welcome aboard. Do me a favor. I'm looking for a no good burnout named 'Tom Paris.' Our observer. If you see this son of a bitch, you send him to my office. The only thing he's going to be observing is my foot up his ass. He's standing right next to us, isn't he?"

 

[Finn]

Cavit: Welcome aboard, Mr. Kim! Can you join me in the holodeck. I got this great NX-01 program from Deep Space Nine's chief engineer.

 

[Triskelion]

Cavit: Welcome aboard, Kim. Report to deck the four conference room for a debriefing.
<Harry leaves>
Paris: Where's the real orgy?
Janeway: Cargo bay two. Follow me, handsome.

Neelix: You're gonna love my girlfriend.
Janeway: We'll all go out to a bar.
Neelix: Technically she's not allowed in, Captain.
Janeway: How old is she?
Neelix: Oh no, I'm not getting arrested again.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Hi, Eric Stratton, Rush chairman, damn glad to meet you.

PARIS: We sure this guy knows where we're going?

TUVOK: Indeed, this is the third time we've passed this rock formation.

 

[Triskelion]

Cavit: I like the cut of your jib, Ensign. You'll be making Commander in no time.

Janeway: Note to self, teach the crew a lesson about who gives the promotions around here.

Neelix: Car?
Tuvok: Negative.
Neelix: Motorscooters?
Tuvok: No.
Neelix: Electric bicycles?
Tuvok: No.
Neelix: Segways?
Tuvok: Negative.
Neelix: Pogo stick?
Tuvok: No.
Neelix: I guess there's no point in asking you to give me a piggy back ride?
Tuvok: I already renounce logic to hate him.

Janeway: I'm looking for a coffee mug about yay wide. Preferably with a wide rim, and handles on the side. It's got to be able to take extreme heat, and make it a pleasing symmetrical shape so it looks the same from every angle.

Torres: And why not add the ability to cook the coffee beans right in it?

Janeway: Yes! Can you do that for me?

Torres: Sure. You want a coffee wok.

Janeway: Hello Chief Engineer.

Neelix: I said I was a scavenger, but I forgot to mention it was the teeth-cleaning kind.

Hobo: Gangnam style!
<All three phase him>

 

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: Then when I'm introduced, I want you to stand up,
give me pistol fingers and shout "whoo hoo!"

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

PARIS: We sure this guy knows where we're going?

TUVOK: Indeed, this is the third time we've passed this rock formation.

Janeway: But he's the first alien we encountered here, surely that makes him qualified to be our guide.

 

[Mistral]

Tonight on The Mod Squad...