U.S.S. TITAN -- THE WINNER!
- Thread starter Marco Palmieri
- Start date
and the sticker saying
'if i can sense your emotions, you're too close'
'if i can sense your emotions, you're too close'
Posted by Ghostface1701:
I like the ship, but I've noticed a little problem:
There are standard docking ports on the sides of the secondary hull, but how are they supposed to be accessed with those nacelles in the way? The ship looks like it needs some specialised equipment to dock anywhere.
Well Duh, isn't the answer is obvious? It looks like those nacelles just pop right off whenever you want them to. A very useful feature for when your ship gets side-swiped in spacedock.
I can see it all now as we take you to an infamous pair of detailers on in Southern California...
Tonight, on MTV a special episode of "Pimp My Starship"...
"S'up, Yo? We're gonna freak ol' boy Will Riker's new ride the Titan out so he can roll like the playa we know he is!"
"Yeah, son! We'll hook 'em wit' some spinners and the HD viewscreen on the bridge. You know, a l'il bling ba-zing to punk some of his homies back in the 'Fleet an'show 'em wassup."
"When we're done you know the honies from Risa to Betazed are gonna wanna get wit' my boy, Will when he warps into their system."
"Yo, dog, you know mo than the shields are gonna drop when they see it, but what about his girl, Dee? I hear baby, be readin' minds an thangs."
"Aw, dude, baby'll be awight. A brotha's gotta roll the way he's gotta roll. So strap in son, 'cause it's time to PIMP MY STARSHIP!!"
"Yeah , yeah, right after a few words from our sponsors, Sprite. You wanna beat down the Borg? Then obey your thirst , son..."
Hey it would be a new way to bring in the fans...
Later!
Ali
I'm just pissed because I didn't come up with it first. 
That was just beautiful!
Posted by S. Gomez:
At the risk of being overly-imitative, I wonder how the Vulcans would take to this...
"Yo! What up, my logical home-boys! You peeps still cool in yo desert world? Y'all live it up and prospah, now."
Heaven forbid any mind-melds should become necessary...
Well let's find out, after all they are pimping out the tactical station under Tuvok's watchful eye at this very moment...
"S'up Y'all? Welcome back to 'Pimp My Starship'. Now we decided to look in on our boy Chollo, he's been doin' a l'il somthin' somethin' wit the tactical station. We also bought in my ace one Vulcan from the WESTSIDE!, Tuvok. So how you livin' 'Vok, baby?"
"I believe the appropriate response is, one day at a time, my brother."
"A'ight, a'ight, I'm feelin' you, baby, I'm feelin' you."
"That is not possible, as you well know, Vulcans do not express emotions."
"Say word, son?"
"Indeed, word."
"A'ight, a'ight, I'm feelin' that, baby, represent."
"So what you think 'bout Chollo's work?"
"I fail to understand the logic of covering the bridge in gold plate and zircon diamond jewelry."
"'Vok, baby, it ain't 'bout logic, dog, it's about bling!"
"If you say so. And this apparatus?"
"Don't you know a controller when you see one, son?"
"Yeah now we saw that wack assed joystick on Enterprise-E--"
"No style, son, that's so 23rd Century."
"Word."
"So Chollo set the whole bridge up with some serious controllers for a serious gamer."
"Say word, son, c'mon."
"Thas' right, you got XXL Box AND FHM Playastation!"
"Yeah, yeah if the ship go manual, you got sixteen button control, baby!"
"Say, word! Multispeicies adaptive, yo!"
"If you say so gentlemen. And this new button here?"
"Well those are for the guns, son."
"Guns? This vessel is equipped with state of the art weaponry. Phasers, photon and quantum torpedoes, multiphasic shielding, ablative armor--"
"Yo, you NEED guns, 'Vok!"
"Tell him, son!"
"By guns, you mean an archaic form of firearms using projectiles referred to as 'bullets'?"
"Exactly! Not just bullets, armor piercing, son!"
"Pop, pop, pop, baby! BANG!"
"What exactly is the logical about that?"
"A'ight, I see your hesitation, but baby though, check it. You in space, right?"
"Affirmative."
Along comes a Dominion ship, an' two shots into the fight you losin' shields!"
"Losing 'em like a punk-ass!"
"Word, word. So phasers done died out, you gettin' blasted by all these energy weapons when you hit the button--"
"This button, right here--"
"And BAM! Next the Dominion knows, 20,000,000,000 bullets all up in their grill."
"Bap, bap, bap, pop, pop, pop, BANG! TRICK SUCKAS!"
"Before you know, you done smoked them fools before they know what hit 'em!"
"Like a pack of Kools, son, BAM!"
"C'mon, 'Vok, think about it, dog: how many ships you know that got rapid fire AK-47 mounted all over the place ready to fire?"
"Nobody, son!"
"Nobody at all, boy!"
"Who looking for bullets to come out a Federation ship all drive by style?"
"Nobody, baby. Not the Borg, not the Romulans, not even the Klingons and you know they off tha hook!"
"Yeah, Klingons are hella fierce!"
"So check it, you can't adjust no shields on this either!"
"Fools, gots to be bullet proof just to get out of there, dog and y'all just thinking 'bout them energy based weapons."
"Say word, son, PREACH!"
"So thas why you need guns, baby boy!"
"I see the logic in that, proceed."
"A'ight, a'ight I see you feelin' me on this--"
"Vulcans do not express--"
"We know, son, DAMN!"
"So while Chollo and 'Vok finish up here, we're gonna go to break so we can get a word from our sponsor the Home DNA Test, new and improved for checkin' on shapeshifters!"
"Yeah Odo, time to own up, son"
"Say word, homie, say word. A'ight y'all we'll be back after this!"
Peace out, Homies!
Ali
Does my "Editor/Paramount Phone Conversation" at least get a nomination?
This whole thing is brilliant, but this line could just be my new TrekBBS quote.
^ Oops! Done.
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