Shatner neither blew his lines nor did he deliver them with great excitement (which is apparently what Takei wanted.)
Considering that Kirk was in the throes of a midlife crisis at that point in the film, it would've been a bit jarring if he suddenly got all giddy at the prospect of Sulu making Captain. At best, I could see Kirk feigning happiness and politely congratulating him while really being envious that his former helmsman would be captaining a ship when he wasn't himself.
.
Exactly right!!
I just listened to the scene again and there are subtle changes to both keep Kirk's mood the same and satisfy Takei's need for the others to be happy for him.
Here first is the script.........
ENTERPRISE VOICE
(filtered)
Enterprise welcomes you. Prepare
for docking.
Kirk looks up from his book as Sulu sits next to him.
KIRK
I really must thank you.
SULU
(embarrassed)
I am delighted; any chance to go
aboard Enterprise, however briefly,
is always an excuse for nostalgia.
KIRK
I cut your new orders personally. By
the end of the month, you'll have your
first command: USS EXCELSIOR.
SULU
Thank you, sir. I've looked
forward to this for a long time.
KIRK
You've earned it. But I'm still
grateful to have you at the helm
for three weeks. I don't believe
these kids can steer.
Sulu laughs.
------Now, as filmed..............changes in BOLD
ENTERPRISE VOICE
(filtered)
Enterprise welcomes you. Prepare
for docking.
Kirk looks up from his book as Sulu sits next to him.
KIRK
I hate inspections
SULU
I am delighted; any chance to go
aboard Enterprise, however briefly,
is always an excuse for nostalgia.
KIRK
Well with Spock in command you don't think I'll turn anything up do you? By
the end of the month, you'll have your
own command: USS EXCELSIOR.
McCoy
Oh, congratulations commander!
SULU
Thank you, sir. I've looked
forward to this for a long time.
KIRK
Well I for one am grateful to have you at the helm
for three weeks. I don't believe
these kids can steer.
Sulu laughs.
--------As you can see by the changes.....
they changed Kirk from saying...
"I really must thank you" (Sulu) to
"I hate inspections."
This continues Kirk's melancholy demeanor from both the academy corridor scene and his apartment.
------Then they added the line
"With Spock in command...."
indicating Kirk was missing the center seat---replacing "I cut your new orders personally."
Then they added McCoy's line congratulating Sulu.....
logical because McCoy is happy for Sulu without the mixed feelings Kirk is feeling.
Lastly they cut the "You earned it."--------
which IMO sounds just a little too patronizing on Kirk's part.
If you've noticed Shatner's performance in the existing/remaining shuttle pod scene then you can be assured Shatner's performance of those cut 3 lines was delivered in exactly the same manner.
For Takei. this was his big scene in the movie.
What he didn't (or wouldn't) get is that the movie is about Kirk's mid-life crisis.
Shatner is continuing his mood from the previous Kirk scenes into the shuttle pod scene.
Takei was not in those other two scenes (corridor/appt.), so he maybe didn't know that Kirk was supposed to be down.
He took it as SHATNER is not acting happy in the scene where my promotion is mentioned.
In fact it is simply that
KIRK is feeling bad about his own life--not Shatner peeing on Takei's parade.
Personally I like the scene and wish they had kept it.
Then in Trek 3, they could have had a scene where Kirk says to Sulu.....
"If you assist me on this mission (to find Spock)---you'll lose your new command."
To which Sulu could have nobly disregarded the warning to help his friends (Spock/McCoy)