Twelve Days of Christmas

[HIjol]

Please enjoy, and make up your own!


On the First Day of Christmas,
My Admiral Gave to Me
A HoloProgram with Minuet, Weeee!
On the Second a Day of Christmas,
My Counselor Gave to Me
Two Tox Uthats
And a HoloProgram with Minuet, Weeee!
On the Third Day of Christmas,
My First Officer Gave to Me
Three Rizan Wenches
Two Tox Uthats
And a HoloProgram with Minuet, Weeee!ree
On the Fourth Day of Christmas,
My Bridge Crew Gave to Me
Four Romulan Ales
Three Rizan Wenches
Two Tox Uthats
And a HoloProgram with Minuet, Weeee!
On the Fifth Day of Christmas, Ferengi Gave to Me

Five bars of Latinum

Four Romulan Ales
Three Rizan Wenches
Two Tox Uthats
And a HoloProgram with Minuet, Weeee!

On the Sixth Day of Christmas,
Time Travel Gave to Me
Six Borg Drones coming

Five bars of Latinum

Four Romulan Ales
Three Rizan Wenches
Two Tox Uthats
And a HoloProgram with Minuet, Weeee!

On the Seventh Day of Christmas,
My Mission gave to me
Seven of Nine Wanting
Six Borg Drones Coming

5 Latinum Bars

Four Romulan Ales
Three Rizan Wenches
Two Tox Uthats
And a HoloProgram with Minuet, Weeee!

On the Eighth Day of Christmas
The Borg Cube gave to me
Eight Borg Drones fighting
Seven of Nine Wanting
Six Borg Drones Coming

5 Latinum Bars

Four Romulan Ales
Three Rizan Wenches
Two Tox Uthats
And a HoloProgram with Minuet, Weeee!

On the Ninth Day of Christmas
The Council Gave to Me
Nine Deep Space Stations
Eight Borg Drones Fighting
Seven of Nine Wanting
Six Borg Drones Coming

5 Latinum Bars

Four Romulan Ales
Three Rizan Wenches
Two Tox Uthats
And a HoloProgram with Minuet, Weeee!!


On the Tenth Day of Christmas
My 'Tendress gave to me
Ten Forward Club Seats
Nine Deep Space Stations
Eight Borg Drones fighting
Seven of Nine Wanting
Six Borg Drones Coming

5 Latinum Bars

Four Romulan Ales
Three Rizan Wenches
Two Tox Uthats
And a HoloProgram with Minuet, Weeee!

On the Eleventh Day of Christmas
Cartography Gave to Me
Eleven Moons of Nibia
Ten Forward Club Seats
Nine Deep Space Stations
Eight Borg Drones fighting
Seven of Nine Wanting
Six Borg Drones Coming

5 Latinum Bars

Four Romulan Ales
Three Rizan Wenches
Two Tox Uthats
And a HoloProgram with Minuet, Weeee!

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas
The Great Bird Gave to Me
Twelve Slave Girls Dancing
Eleven Moons of Nibia
Ten Forward Club Seats
Nine Deep Space Stations
Eight Borg Drones fighting
Seven of Nine Wanting
Six Borg Drones Coming

5 Latinum Bars

Four Romulan Ales
Three Rizan Wenches
Two Tox Uthats
And a HoloProgram with Minuet, Weeee!

Jingle Dingle, everyone

I love you all!


Live Long And Prosper.
Resistance Is Futile.

 

[Timewalker]

Is this only for one song, or are other Christmas filks welcome?

 

[HIjol]

Is this only for one song, or are other Christmas filks welcome?

Sure thing...the more the merrier!

 

[Timewalker]

I wrote a bunch of Star Trek/Christmas filks back in the '80s. I do happen to have one based on the 12 Days of Christmas, though.

 

[tharpdevenport]

I made one about TrekBBS probably five or so years ago. I'm not sure if I saved it or not. I'll have to take a look.

It might have even been pre-T'Bonz, or BLT: Before le T'Bonz. Or maybe that's Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato.

 

[Dude111]

A couple weeks ago i got a 78 that has 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS on it (Perry Como)

I think its one of the nicest I have ever heard of the song..

 

[Timewalker]

Okay, here are a few of my Trek filks based on Christmas tunes. These were written back in the '80s.


I Saw Mommy

I saw Mommy kissing Captain Picard
On the observation deck last night.
They didn't see me creep
Down the hall to have a peep
They thought that I was tucked up in my cabin fast asleep.
Then I saw Mommy kissing Captain Picard
On top of his head so shiny bright--
Oh, what a fight there would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Captain Picard last night!

(I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus)



Doctor Bones McCoy

Doctor Bones McCoy looked out
On the feast of Stephen
Where the food lay 'round about,
Deep and crisp and even.
Blushing, the Lieutenant said,
"Sir, I'm off my diet!
Here's a pack of onion rings--
Have one, won't you try it?"

"Bring me pie and bring me cake,
Bring me hard rock candy.
Bring me a creamy choc'late shake,
Or anything that's handy!
Popcorn, pretzels, I do crave--
Lots and lots of munchies.
And my sanity you'll save
With a bag of Space Crunchies!"

"Lieutenant, you are out of line--
Go and eat your dinner!
Plomeek soup should do you fine;
You will be much thinner!"
"Doctor, won't you take with me
A walk to the transporter
Where this ship, it soon will be
One CMO shorter!"

(Good King Wenceslaus)



We Three Ensigns

We three ensigns of Enterprise are
Off on shore leave, we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain, in
Search of the perfect bar!

Oh--

Bar of wonder, bar so bright
Bar for which we've searched all night!
Westward leading, still proceeding,
Guide us to thy perfect Lite!

(We Three Kings)


Chekov the Russian Ensign

Chekov the Russian Ensign
Served aboard the Lexington
During a Klingon battle;
It was hard to say who won.
All of the other Ensigns
Laughed and snickered to his face
They made it rough on Chekov;
He transferred out in grave disgrace
To the starship Enterprise;
The Klingons came once more.
The phasers fired with such a blast
The Klingons went back home at last.
Then how the Ensigns loved him!
It was such a nice surprise;
"Chekov, the Russian Ensign,
Welcome to the Enterprise!"

(Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)

 

[Miss Chicken]

Rather than celebrating Christmas I celebrate Newton Day. I am not that into Trek anymore but I love science though I am very much a layman. So I turn to science at this time of year rather than sci fi.

Sir Isaac Newton was born in 1642. At that stage England was still using the Julian calendar and thus Newton was born on 25 Dec 1942. However much of Europe was already using the Gregorian calendar and according to it Newton was born on 4 Jan 1643.

Therefore the days between 25 December and 4 Jan are the 10 Days of Newton, or some also call it the Season of Reason.

The lyrics to the 10 Days of Newton are

On the tenth day of Newton,
My true love gave to me,
Ten drops of genius,
Nine silver co-oins,
Eight circling planets,
Seven shades of li-ight,
Six counterfeiters,
Cal-Cu-Lus!
Four telescopes,
Three Laws of Motion,
Two awful feuds,
And the discovery of gravity!

The ninth and 6th day refers to the period when Newton was Master of the Royal Mint during which time he doggedly hunted down counterfeiters.

 

[Timewalker]

This is either late for Christmas or early for next year. I spotted it just tonight, and couldn't resist:

 

[auntiehill]

^

 

[Captain Ice]