Trying to improve the initial space scene in The Last Jedi

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Andy Hong, Apr 21, 2018.

  1. Andy Hong

    Andy Hong Lieutenant Red Shirt

    Mar 31, 2017
    So....there do seem to be a few daft things. Like why does the First Order shoot the base first (rather than the "getaway car" ships), and how the whole "Waiting for General Hux/Hugs"/"his mother" joke didn't really fit with the movie (and also wasn't a good reference to the sequence in a New Hope!). And what is Hux and his 3 Star Destroyers doing? It's not like they can't open fire on the base or Resistance ships, or launch their own fighters? So....I've removed Hux and the 3 Star Destroyers from the scene, and overall tried to make it make more sense.

    NOTE: I've assumed that all capital ships use ray shields as their main shield, but also use much smaller ray shields and particle shields to cover very critical systems like the bridge and maybe hangars. This allows fighters to be threats to larger vessels - they go inside their main shield bubbles and then attack the hull directly

    Lieutenant Connix scrambled aboard the last transport. "Punch it!" she yelled to the pilot. As the transport took off from D'Qar base,, she nervously looked at the sky. Her eyes widened as she saw the Siege Dreadnought arrive in orbit!

    In orbit, the Fulminatrix targeted the base and let fly with a salvo of 4 shots, 2 per orbital autocannon.

    To her horror, Connix saw the red bolts streak down from the sky, almost as if they were aimed at her! But fortunately, they struck the base behind her as the transport accelerated away in the nick of time.

    On aboard the Fulminatrix, Captain Morden Canady almost snarled "Report!". His officers responded "Sir! The base has been destroyed! But there are Resistance ships, bombers and fighters in orbit!". Canady fumed. His orders had been to attack the base immediately on exiting Hyperspace, surprising and obliterating them in one fell swoop. Angrily he snarled "Worthless First Order Intelligence! Recharge the autocannons and target their main cruiser! And scramble our fighters! Tell them to stick close to us and engage any attackers." "I'll wring those Intelligence pukes' necks if I get half a chance" he thought to himself. "Oh no, Captain! The Resistance doesn't have any ships or small craft in the area! You don't need to wait for supporting Star Destroyers! Hyperspace there and fire on the base immediately! You'll definitely catch them by surprise!" he sarcastically said to himself. He reflected that, although he liked his ship, he couldn't understand how, if it was one and a half times the size of a Resurgent class, the Resurgent could have 1500+ weapon emplacements and he only had 26 quad barrel point defence turrets (only on the dorsal side?) plus 2 ventral orbital autocannon?

    Poe took some deep breaths. BB-8 beeped nervously "Happy beeps, BB-8, Happy beeps!" he said as he got his X-Wing into position, and began charging his booster. "This is Commander Poe Dameron of the Resistance! I have an urgent message for General Hugs"

    Canady's musings were broken by a report. "Sir! The Resistance appears to be sending their fighters our way! One of them seems far ahead of the others?" Other offices chime in "He's come to a stop just outside the effective range of our point defense cannons" "He's hailing us!" Canady's brow furrowed. Just one fighter? What was he up to? "Have the orbital cannons recharged?" "No Sir". "Then open a channel, and lock every point defense gun we have on him. Await my command".

    Poe looked down at the beeping on his threat warning device and does a wide-eyed double take when he realised it said 26 guns had locked onto him! He barely had time to recover before he heard the response "General Hux is not here. This is Captain Morden Canady. What is your message?" Voice calm, but with facial expression and hands waving "Come on, come on!" at the slowly charging booster indicator, Poe repeats "I....have an urgent message for General Hugs". Patience wearing thin, Canady icily asks "Which is...?" Poe unfortunately goes " are you?". Too late, he realises what he just said, and he cringes and winces and facepalms with a "what was I thinking?!/what did I just say?!" expression on his face. Face like thunder, Canady closes the channel and yells "Open fire!". Poe says "Oh-oh, time to go!" and engages his booster anyway - he'll just have to hope the boost he has charged is enough! Fortunately, the boost he has is enough to make all the initial point defense cannon shots miss.

    The female office reported "He destroying all our point defences!". Another officer reported "The other Resistance fighters have joined in and are engaging our fighters! Some are shooting our orbital guns!" Canady responded "Send a distress signal! To all First Order ships, we need reinforcements!".

    After the last point defence turret is destroyed "Sir, the Resistance bombers are closing in". With resigned sarcasm, Canady replies "Of course they are". With all the TIEs and point defences destroyed, half of the bombers attack the dorsal side and the other the ventral side. As the bombs explode and the explosions slowly advance towards the bridge, Canady reflects that he really shouldn't have bothered to get out of bed that morning.