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Trying my hand at a little story ...

Roboturner913

Commander
Red Shirt
This is my first post but I have been reading the forums on and off for a few years.

My story follows the U.S.S. Hornet, an older ship that was pulled out of mothballs to serve during the Dominion War. The narrative starts a couple months after the war has ended. I plan to frame in stories from the past for crew background, tales of the ship's adventures during the war, etc.

I have only a few paragraphs so far but I like where it's headed. Hopefully the second part is not too fanboyish but I wanted the reader to be able to visualize the ship and understand the "fish out of water" idea that I'm going for.

Any criticisms and ideas are welcomed.
 
Captain Samuel Kelly stared absentmindedly into his morning cup of coffee, the stack of data pads on his left armrest growing by the minute.
Around him, the bridge lazily came alive as first watch trickled in and took their stations. It was a familiar, comfortable routine. Despite the informal atmosphere around the ship, the crew knew their roles. Kelly knew that when it came down to it, they could be depended on.
Still, it burned a little when his helmsman showed up fifteen minutes late.
Mondays.
“Walt,” he said in a vaguely disapproving tone. “Turbolifts give you any trouble on the way in?”
“Sorry,” Lieutenant Walter Marvez said sheepishly. “You know, I just can’t get going in the morning and …”
The captain sighed. He knew why his helmsman was dragging. It had been a late night - Chief Blackmon’s going away party had been one for the ages. Real alcohol was hard to come by in space … most of the night had been a blur.
Still, Kelly had managed to make it to work on time, hangover and all.
“Save it Walt,” Kelly said. “Just try and show up on time every once in a while, huh? You’re making me look bad.”
“Sure thing, Sam. Sorry.”
“That’s ‘Captain’ on the bridge, Walt.”
Kelly sighed, then laughed. He hated being the bad guy, but as Stella had told him right before he took command of the Hornet ten months ago: “Sometimes you gotta pay the costs to be the boss.”
He knew he had to get to work soon, but allowed himself a moment of silent respite. It would be a busy day ahead - duty schedules and cargo manifests to approve, and judging by the stack of pads that had now overflowed onto his lap, about a million other things.
Paperwork. How perfectly mundane.
Sometimes Kelly actually missed the war.

---

The Hornet was not exactly the latest in technology and starship design.
Starfleet had pulled her out of mothballs a year into the Dominion War. She was part of a 30-ship fleet that had been stored away at Rega IV - mostly Miranda and Constitution-class vessels, replaced by bigger, stronger, faster ships.
The Hornet was an oddity in Starfleet - a Philadelphia-class frigate. Only five had ever been built. She even had her original registry number. All the other ships from Rega had been recommissioned as new vessels before being put back into service - the Sitak, the Majestic, the Nautilus.
Not Kelly‘s ship. In a fleet full of five-digit registry numbers, the U.S.S. Hornet proudly wore NCC-2155.
She was unmistakably part of the Constitution design lineage. Sure, the Hornet’s silhouette was maybe not quite as elegant as James T. Kirk’s Enterprise, but the first time he saw the her, Sam had immediately fallen in love with her compact, no-nonsense design.
The primary hull was topped by a single warp nacelle, with a short interconnecting pylon housing the torpedo launcher. A small shuttle bay slung underneath the impulse engines on the aft side, and that was it.
The shape of her pearlescent white saucer was still iconic in the Federation, long after Kirk‘s last command had ended.
You can take your Galaxies and Nebulas and stuff them in a sack, Kelly had thought as he looked at his new command from the viewport at Starbase 348. This is what I want.
 
Sounds interesting. Though, the C.M.O. would have something to thoroughly neutralize any hangovers by that point in the timeline. I like your "mothball fleet" premise, though. Keep it coming.
 
The captain is in love with his ship indeed :) As it should be ;)

A technical suggestion: it would make it easier to read if you'd add an additional space between paragraphs.
 
Too short to give us any real insight into plot or characterization as yet. I do like your writing style though.
 
---

All in all, Kelly thought to himself, his little ship had fared pretty well in the war. They had mostly pulled courier duty, transporting ambassadors and precious cargo from one place to another. They hadn’t often found themselves on the front lines, but the crew had their fair share of action.

The Hornet had taken place in five separate engagements against the Dominion, including the final battle at Cardassia Prime.

“Deep shit” didn‘t begin to describe that one. They had lost most of their fighter group, somehow wandered into the main thrust of the battle and drew the attention of a couple of those ugly bugs. The Hornet was fast, even compared to the more modern ships in the fleet, but Jem’hadar fighters were faster - and a damn sight meaner. Two, three more hits and they would’ve had to evacuate.

Kelly had been shocked to see a Cardie ship suddenly turn and blow a trailing Jem’hadar to sparklers. He was even more shocked to realize that his poor little battered ship was now right in the crossfire as nine or ten Galor-class warhammers turned to face their former masters.

“WALT!!! GET US THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!”

The Hornet had moaned, groaned and shrieked its way out of the thick of things, bobbing and weaving as the gates of Hell seemed to explode around them, every single system taxed to the limit.

And before he knew it, they were out. The little ship had survived … Against all odds.

Because when it came to combat, survival was the name of the game for ships like this. Forget fancy tactics and torpedoes - all that stuff goes right out the window when you’re running for your life in an 80-year-old bucket of rattles and chaos.

And the Hornet was definitely a survivor.
 
Estelle Pardeaux snuck a fleeting glance of her husband from her science station. He was staring into his coffee like it held the secret of existence.

The lieutenant wasn’t fooled for a second. She knew him too well. There were no grand thought processes behind that quizzical stare and wrinkled forehead.

He sure was doing a good job of looking lost in some deep philosophical dilemma, though.

Sam, Sam, Sam
, she mentally chided him. Always the procrastinator. If you bring a single one of those pads home tonight you are really gonna regret it.

The lieutenant had plans for herself and the captain tonight, most of them centered around the little miracle currently located in her lower abdomen. She had found out last week.

They had only been married for a few months.

Oh, this was going to be bad. Very bad.

How am I going to tell him?
she thought. This is not a ship for families. I’ve seen closets bigger than our quarters.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Sam resignedly pick up one of the pads off the floor, signaling the start of the day.

Poor bastard
, Stella chuckled. I tried to tell him.
 
A little more about the ship and her crew. Why do I have a feeling that having a wife--and pregnant at that--is going to mean trouble?

Did you think of a title for the story yet?
 
May I suggest:

5341974056_d0c6a47bba.jpg
5341362207_c3a0fefa8a.jpg

 
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