Quinto: Chris, stop looking at J.J.'s ass.
Saldana: Zachy, play nice!
Quinto: *dejectedly* Yes ma'am...
Trek XI Caption Contest #23: FINAL BLOWOUT!!!!!!
- Thread starter Rat Boy
- Start date
Quinto: Chris, stop looking at J.J.'s ass.
Saldana: Zachy, play nice!
Quinto: *dejectedly* Yes ma'am...
"SHE'S BLURRY! THEY'RE ALL BLURRY!!!!?!??!!!!"
"Pesky wabbit"
"I love the future... oh, a blue bucket"
"I know what it looks like... totally not gonna go orbital sky diving..."
"No reservations... ah man"
(thinking) "Bet I could slice his head open, real quick like, no one would know..."
"You forgot your briefcase!"
"Yellow snow... intriguing"
Captain, my ears' doing that thing again"
"Vhy do you vant me to say nuclear wessel, keptin? and vhy is ewerybody laughing?"
"...and then Superman saves the day. Trust me, it'll be brilliant"
"If you crap in my chair again, I'll rip your goddamn pony tail off"
Kirk: (shoots Nero in the shoulder.) "Does he look... like... a bitch?!"
Nero: (in pain) "No-o!"
Kirk: "Then why'd you try to fuck him like a bitch, Nero?"
Nero: "I didn't!"
Kirk: "Yes, you did! Yes, you did, Nero! You tried to fuck him. Well, The Badass Captain Robau don't like to be fucked by anybody except The Badass Mrs. Robau."
Spock: "Where the fuck's my motorcycle!!!???!!?"
Kirk: "Heh heh heh heh."
Spock: "Where the fuck's my motorcycle!!!???!!?"
Kirk: "Heh heh heh heh."
Nimoys bicycle theft by Shatner makes a long awaited return from the TOS forum, with a twist.
Love it.
Harold and Kirkmar get the muchies and after hours and hours, finally find...
White Castle, Iowa
J.J:"...so the way i see it is, your flying the Enterprise down this massively long corridor type thing made of conduits and space circuitry and metal on the side of an evil space station, you get to the end and at the last possible moment you shoot a phaser blast into a hole the size of a womp r..."
Yelchin: "Fuck, not this again, its been like this every day since filming began."
Please be careful of these sets, its all from IKEA, if its broken, it will take weeks to get to the nearest store 10 million miles away to get new stuff, so please, dont break anything.
Kirk: "Youll never guess what i just found."
McCoy: "Oh for god's sake, what this time?"
Kirk: "Theres a place on campus that makes girdles. Theyll be ready just in time for gradutation if you order now. Ive ordered mine, should fit perfectly by the time im captain."
Spock: "Shit, theres Wolverine, over your shoulder."
Kirk *turning round* : "Fuck, where?"
J.Js Terminator 5, impressive though the premise was, just didnt hold up by intergrating Kirk as a Kyle Reese wannabe and Spock as the cold blooded robotic assasin.
A lesson from future Spock 101...:
Spock: "See, Now youve got your little Jimmy stuck to the ice, ahvnt you? Maybe this wil teach you in future to look before you go in all guns blazing, wont it?"
And from that day forth, Kirk knew never, EVER to shag an Ice Princess from Aitch-Two-Oh Minus V ever again
The phantom Party Popper In Ear bandit struck again, this time so quickly that Zoe didnt see the fleeing culprit.
Chekov: "Hey, Kirk, after this is all over, ill lend you my hair for the V'Ger mission in a few years."
J.J.'s 're-imagining' of Thelma and Louise with hover bike munted police and Pine and Quinto in drag left lots to be desired.
Zach: "Isnt it strange that i look fuck all like Nimoy, yet exactly like him at the same time?"
Heil Berman!
Bones! On Orion the girls have green boobies this big!!
Captain James T. Solo prepares to take out another stormtrooper
Try as he might, Kirk just couldn't find his way into the 23rd Centruy gas station.
Pine: I would like to make sure I have more lines that the gentleman next to me.
Mel Brooks sat back and counted his greenbacks with satisfcation as the Spaceballs café gets re-used in 2009.
Spock couldn't work it out, but he had a strong feeling that he was about to encounter a great many Heroes.
Abrams knew straight away that the Tom Paris cameo would have to be altered.
NuKirk reacts with astonishment as Spock shows him the toupeé that awaits his future self.
Uhura was frightened to tell people she was a cunning linguist.
After a trip to Moscow JJ realises that the Art Garfunkel look is big in Russia.
JJ: So, do you think I can get Tom Hanks in the next one?
Spock: Please inform Mr. Stern that I am queer and that I am here.
Dennis Haysbert (voice over): "Imagine one day your rebellious son decides to take your classic Corvette for a spin only to plunge it off a cliff. With Allstate's accident forgiveness coverage, you'll have your hotrod back together in no time and without any increase in your rates. We here at Allstate don't think you should be blamed because a time-travelling Romulan killed your husband and left your child without a strong father figure. That's Allstate's stance; are you in good hands?"
McCoy: "Why do you insist on walking everywhere backwards?"
Kirk: "Pike said he expected me to stand out in a crowd."
Kirk: "Just two more Bulls Eyes and the Teddy Bear is MINE."
Kirk: "It rides nice......but I still miss that 'Vette."
Kirk: "It still says 'Occupied'."
Sulu: "You'd think on a ship this size they'd have built more than one restroom."
Pike: "The Hide-a-way Tap, huh. Talk about truth in advertising."
Spock: "One more spit ball and our next lesson will be in the practical use of the Vulcan Death Grip."
Robopaper boy: "I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!"
Kirk: "THAT.........was not a fart."
Kirk: "Hey, Uhura. Know what's under a pony tail? A horses ass. HA HA HA."
Uhura: "Very funny, farm boy. Plan on sleeping anytime soon?"
"The itching. The burning." (Chekov) "I shoud have use Preparation H."
Pine: "Think he's almost done?"
Quinto: "Jeez, I hope so."
Pine: "What idiot turned him on to opera anyway?"
Zoe: "A girdle AND a hairpiece? Good thing they didn't have Hi Def back then."
JJ. "That's what I'm sayin'."
"Ze Canon Fuhrer has just arrived! HAIL TO ZE ESTABLISHED TIMELINE!!!"
KIRK:"Surak 12:15
The path of the logical man is beset on ALL sides by the inequities of passionate, emotional and carnal men..."
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