Trek XI Caption Contest #19: S'Up?

[Rat Boy]

Hello, is anyone out there? Well, that didn't go over like I hoped. For full disclosure on the whole April Fool's day idea, be sure to pop over to the Movie Caption Contest thread tomorrow. I promise, this is the normal contest now, but first let's go ahead and honor...

For the picture of Alan Rickman attending his first and last sci-fi convention, our winner is...

"By Grabthar's Hammer...

Do ANY of you lot ever have sex? How can there be so bloody MANY of you?"

For the picture of Tim Allen unable to hear you over the sound of how awesome he is, our winner is...

Tim Allen wins his bet with William Shatner by proving, once and for all, that the sun actually does shine out of his arse.

Finally, for showing that Questies can be just as picky as Trekkies, our winner is...

After nearly a year and a half of speculation, waiting, praying, wishing, doodling in their workbooks, scratchbuilding, following false links, getting emailed fake images, still wishing, still doodling and ... ... hoping. The new NSEA Protector design is revealed to the world.

Congratulations to our winners and here's your updated totals:

cooleddie74 - 6
Outpost4 - 5
Nerys Myk - 4
middyseafort - 4
Amasov - 3
Piper - 3
Herkimer Jitty - 3
SalvorHardin - 3
B.J. - 3
M'Sharak - 2
seigezunt - 2
Woulfe - 2
Kirby - 2
Civil Shadow - 2
Hartzilla2007 - 2
The Squire of Gothos - 2
trampledamage - 2
Classic Fan - 2
26138 - 1
jptrekker - 1
Alpha_Geek - 1
Zachary_Smith - 1
Plum - 1
3 of 11 - 1
jongredic - 1
Super Grover - 1
Candlelight - 1
Gertch - 1
T'Aerwynd - 1
shivkala - 1
Jackson_Roykirk - 1
The Badger - 1
Captain Zog - 1
BriGuy - 1
Skywalker - 1
J. Allen - 1
Alrik - 1
Lashmore - 1
Aragorn - 1
John Picard - 1
Samurai8472 - 1
Jimmy_C - 1
Cky - 1
S'kai - 1

This week, it's back to normal around here, or as close to normal as things get. First up is Kirk flirting with Uhura using sign language and probably getting into another fight as a result. As for the second, well, let's just say it's Sulu and Kirk and the captions will probably be writing themselves. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Live long and party hard?"

Spock: "Schmuck."

Kirk (thinking): Just remember, only if our balls touch, only if our balls touch...

 

[SalvorHardin]

Sulu : Oh Jim !!
Is that Rock Penis in your pocket or are you just happy to be up here alone with me ?

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Sulu called Kirk a wuss

cue the Tmok Time fight theme.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: We're not gay... not that there's anything wrong with that.
Sulu: Speak for yourself, buddy.

-or-

Kirk: Mr. Sulu, is that your phaser? Hmm... you're squeezing too tight.
Sulu: Shhh... it's almost over.

Kirk: Yeah. That's right. I'm awesome.

 

[crohnie]

Sulu: "If you were gay, that would be okay..."
Kirk: Shut up or I'll drop you! And I'll tell them it was an accident too...

 

[SalvorHardin]

James T. Kirk and the prisoner of Rura Penthe

Sulu: Hang on captain... I've made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs with this baby.
We'll be in Hogwarts in no time

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk gives Spock the finger in the traditional Vulcan manner.

 

[Jimmy_C]

(Let's see if anyone gets this reference...)

JJ Abram's homage to Airplane II.

 

[MisterPL]

"This?! It's most certainly NOT a toupee! This is 100% James T.... okay, fuck it. It's a toupee."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Anyone got change for a twenty? Anyone?"

 

[EyalM]

Kirk (crossing fingers): "Window seat. Window seat. Window..."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Someone! SPOCK!

MELD WITH ME!!!

Get these voices out of my head!!!"

Their love knew no bounds.

Nor the fact that when you snog without parachutes, neither of you are likely to reach climax.

 

[cooleddie74]

"TWO.

I've got two of 'em back at home in Iowa.

But I ruined the first one as a teenager. It's totally useless now.

I was a randy bugger."

 

[Hedbergian]

The make-believe hand phaser gag was fun at first, away teams beaming down, pointing their finger menacingly at very confused enemies. But as time wore on, Kirk became infamous to every redshirt in StarFleet.

 

[cooleddie74]

</p>

"This is a gesture my dad learned from a Denobulan archaeologist on an old mission.

It's shorthand for STFU."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"UH-OH


WE JUMPED WITH BACKPACKS!!!!!!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Don't worry, I saw this in a movie once. Eventually Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse will come along and give us a spare."

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Kirk: "See! I told you the original BSG Colonial warrior jackets were much much darker than they appeared onscreen.

...n00bz."

Kirk: "This is no time for mid-air acrobatic sodomy, Mr. Sulu!"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Got THIS bruise getting a New Cleveland Colony Steamer from a nearsighted Risan girl.

Long story. Longer innoculation afterwards."

KIRK:"Hold me, Hikaru.

I'm a stranger in Sto-Vo-Kor."