Trek XI Caption Contest #17: Tough Crowds

[Rat Boy]

Will you stop giving me that weird look, because it's time for another contest. First, let's all give a metaphorical hug to...

For the picture of the Enterprise's new Martian crew member looking on as McCoy gives a stirring motivational speech, our winner is...

JJ's reboot of War of the Worlds got a few proportions wrong.

And for the picture of Spock dancing with Uhura like he was the captain of the chess team dancing with the prom queen, our winner is...

Spock always liked a little mocha in his plomeek broth.

And, lastly, our universe-bending Photoshop winner:

"The Terran Empire is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence"

Congratulations to our winners and here's our updated totals:

cooleddie74 - 5
Nerys Myk - 4
middyseafort - 4
Outpost4 - 4
Amasov - 3
Piper - 3
Herkimer Jitty - 3
SalvorHardin - 3
M'Sharak - 2
seigezunt - 2
Woulfe - 2
Kirby - 2
Civil Shadow - 2
B.J. - 2
Hartzilla2007 - 2
26138 - 1
jptrekker - 1
Alpha_Geek - 1
The Squire of Gothos - 1
Zachary_Smith - 1
Plum - 1
3 of 11 - 1
jongredic - 1
Super Grover - 1
Candlelight - 1
Gertch - 1
trampledamage - 1
T'Aerwynd - 1
shivkala - 1
Jackson_Roykirk - 1
The Badger - 1
Captain Zog - 1
BriGuy - 1
Skywalker - 1
J. Allen - 1
Classic Fan - 1
Alrik - 1
Lashmore - 1
Aragorn - 1
John Picard - 1
Samurai8472 - 1
Jimmy_C - 1
Cky - 1
S'kai - 1

This week, we have one picture from the trailer (can't use them all up at once; gotta make 'em last) and a publicity still that's been making the rounds of late. The latter is, of course, Nero smacktalking Kirk on the bridge view screen, but before that, we have a picture of the lecture hall of Admiral Stein as he once again tries in vain to get Bueller to acknowledge him. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Admiral: "And remember, watch where you step. You never know what might be at your feet."

Cadet Mallory: "Pffffffffft. Like I could really step on anything that bad."

Nero: "That's right, I called you a fatty. I've read the historical files. Don't try to lie to me about the girdle."

 

[Cky]

Sir Alan Sugar had a tough job on this years apprentice...

Nero: "Helloh, is Mr. I.P Freely there?"
Kirk: Hold on, I'll check *turns around* Hey everybody, is there an I.P Freely here? Everybody, I.P Freely
*Everyone laughs*
Bones: "Uhh, Jim..."
Kirk: "Oh, why you little snot nosed punk, if I ever find you!!! *shakes fists*

 

[John Picard]

Spock: "Captain, it would appear that the switch to digital has not worked as expected."

 

[Gertch]

Xur: "Starfleet! A refuge for weak worlds not worthy to be our equals!"

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Zordon: What the Hell! Your not the Power Rangers!

 

[section9]

The assembled Cadet Class were stunned to find out that they had all been drafted into the next Starship Troopers direct-to-video movie starring Jolene Blalock as the Trooper with the Big Boobs and Britney Spears as the Bug Queen...

NERO: You are not only destined to be fat, you are destined to wear a toupee and do a hideously bad rendition of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. It is to save the galaxy from that fate that I hunt you down like the dog that you are!
KIRK: What the hell is wrong with Lucy in the Sky? I used to croon Lucy in the Sky to my Organian girlfriend....
SPOCK: ...and it is my understanding that the young Organian lady left you, correct?
MCCOY (OFFSCREEN): Sure. Twist the knife, why don't you, you green-blooded bastard!

 

[trampledamage]

CIRCLED CADET: Goddammit I can't see a thing! I knew I should have pre-booked tickets to see the Trek movie.

 

[cooleddie74]

RANDOM CADET:"BOOOOOOOO!!!

Get off the stage!!!

Someone sing Free Great Bird!!!"

NERO:"I must apologize, Captain. I'm still having trouble figuring out how to properly install my digital conversion box."

 

[cooleddie74]

RECORDING OF JONATHAN ARCHER FROM 2161:

"...and then we found this planet where the natives had nonstop sex. Commander Tucker flatlined and our Denobulan doctor had to bring him back to life twice before he stabilized. Needless to say, Trip stopped being our first contact emissary after that."


CADET: "I feel dirty."

 

[Devon]

Spock: Would everyone with the last name "Suleman" please rise?

 

[Devon]

Delete.

 

[Alpha_Geek]

Then, just as the new cadets began singing the UFP anthem, the asteroid struck. Body pieces were strewn everywhere, many of them still inside their brand new red shirts.

So... Spock, is it? I thought those 40 dollar converter boxes were supposed to keep the picture reception from looking this bad.

 

[cooleddie74]

"We're ALL in red, Mike.

None of us are going to survive our first assignments."

SPOCK:"Can you take it down a notch, Baldy?

The Captain and I are right here. Vulcans have sensitive hearing, you know."

 

[cooleddie74]

The graduating class of '54 had to put up with a valedictory speech from the head of the A.V. department...a nerd who couldn't even get lucky with his own hand under Klingon mind-sifter control.

 

[John Picard]

voice: "Pop-CORN! Fresh, hot POPCORN. COTTON CAN - DY."

Cadet: "YO! RIGHT HERE, DUDE."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Wow.

This is the best Andy Kaufman stage show I've ever been to."

 

[cooleddie74]

NERO:"This isn't a REAL attack, gentlemen...

My real name's Ashton Kutcher IV...and you've been punk'd!!!"

 

[Jackson_Roykirk]

Where's Waldo?

 

[cubbie]

Nero's initial facial markings caused some confusion.

Edit: Romulus had finally received SG-1 radiowaves