TOS Caption Contest Scrimage #1

[Rat Boy]

Mirror Sulu: "When the cat's away..."

 

[Shatmandu]

Mirror Sulu: "Spock used the Tantalus Field on my man kit."

 

[Shatmandu]

Batman: "Has anyone seen Robin and your Mister Sulu lately?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Uhura: "Look on the bright side; at least this Batman won't scream his head off if you distract him."

 

[Captain Crow]

Mirror Sulu: I'm ready to take your "Captain's Log" orally now, sir. Oh, my.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

George Takei: Now will you sleep with me, Bill?
William Shatner: No.

And so begins over 40 years of petty bitterness by George Takei.

 

[Captain Crow]

Uhura: The plan ain't working ya hair piece wearin' honkey!

Kirk: I thought for sure that Bele would be aroused and distracted by Sulu in his best evening gown! Oh, well. Anyone else got any bright ideas?

 

[Shatmandu]

Mirror Kirk: "For a promotion? I'd rather be assassinated, if it's all the same to you."

 

[Rat Boy]

That screaming sound you hear is thousands of masturbators around the internet suddenly trying to stop.

 

[Zachary Smith]

KIRK: Just who the DEVIL are you?

CATWOMAN: Why, Commissioner Bele asked me to visit you, Captain. He said we would be PURRrrrr-fect together . . . .

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Don't ask, don't tell has its LIMITS, Hikaru.

As does my gag reflex."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Casting Director: "Sorry Frank, we're going with Romero. Nice homemade costume though."

 

[cooleddie74]

NICHOLS:"Holy f**ing continuity errors, Shat Man!!"

 

[Zachary Smith]

RIDDLER: Riddle me THIS!! WHEN is a "Joker" NOT a "JOKER"? When he's a RIDDLER!!!!

JOKER: Of ALL the IMPERTINENCE!! How DARE he? I will make him pay!

 

[Rat Boy]

Uhura: "I heard he pulled the same stunt on Jack Nicholson."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "Could be worse, could be an X-Men crossover."
Uhura: "Like that would ever happen. Only a lamo fanwank would come up with that. Probably think that 2 Doctor McCoys on the Enterprise would be cute."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Tell us how the hell to get out of this episode!"

Balok: "This way, gentlemen. Over here is where I keep my collection of nudes."

Kirk: "Pictures?"

Balok: "People."

 

[Alrik]

Kirk: "Make him stop!"

Spock: "If I only had a brain, la, la, la..."

Howard: "This was fun. I enjoyed it so much that I think I'll come back in 36 years and play a Ferengi on Enterprise, 200 years before they're supposed to show up. I'm sure fans will love the idea."

 

[Shatmandu]

Girl: "Gangbang and gangbang! What is gangbang?"

Shatner: "Can you get me a meeting with Andy Griffith?"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "Dammit, give back Spock's penis now!"
Girl: "What does he need with two anyway? He can spare one."
Kirk: "She has a point, I mean what's with the redundancy? Two is overkill. What am I thinking! He wouldn't be Spock without two. Give it back!"

Balok: "You're ma bitches now."