TOS Caption Contest Scrimage #1

[Captain Crow]

Lokai: These pants don't make our packages look comically small do they?

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Kirk; "Not again... bridge to Engineering, Mr Sulu has been in the food replicators again."

 

[Alrik]

Lokai: These pants don't make our packages look comically small do they?

KIRK: "Sorry, but it has nothing to do with the pants."

 

[Rat Boy]

Gorshin: "Dammit, Romero's calling again. I make one suggestion about shaving his mustache and he won't stop being pissed off about it."

 

[Alrik]

Gorshin: "I'll ask if he'd be willing to come on, but don't get your hopes up. Adam West has very high standards when it comes to the roles that he takes."

 

[Mistral]

"Not now, Decius! We're in a crisis! The commander's heard rumors they're bringing back New Coke!"

 

[Mistral]

"I couldn't find a dress anywhere. How does this curtain look on me?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk soon discovered Spock's face wasn't the only thing in this universe with extra hair ...

 

[Mysterion]

"Centurion, I understand space is at a premium on these Warbird class ships, but couldn't they have put the toilet in a separate room?"

 

[MANT!]

Kirk Singing
"In a world of
Pure imagination....."

 

[Alrik]

"You're right. When we make him wear the Helmet Vise, he really does come up with some stupid shit."

 

[Alrik]

KIRK: "Now THAT'S what I call a colorful metaphor."

 

[Zachary Smith]

BELE: I don't care what he says. I swear to you, Captain--I don't know WHO he is or WHY he's here . . .

 

[Nerys Myk]

DECIUS: How long is this gonna take? I have a few backstabbing reports to write and send to my cousin in the Senate.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Decius: "Romulans are proud, independent, self-sufficient. We are tigers, not the lowly sheep of the Federation."

Commander: "All very well, but I think the spirit of independence goes a little far when a man having a heart attack has to adminster CPR on himself."

Centurion pained: "S'Ok, I've got this." Thump

Kirk: "Well hello, the mirror universe just got a little more attractive..."

takes closer look

"Sulu?"

Kirk: "It's all in our history tapes. As you can see, we have overcome our prejudices. You can too."

Bele: "Hmm..."

Kirk: "Is there nothing that resonates?"

Bele: "The most poignant datafile is an episode of one of your Earth entertainments called Friends, the one where Ross tries to get a spray tan..."

 

[Triskelion]

Well, I'm gonna take off. <flies away>

Uhura: <thinking> He makes one Oreo crack and I'll knock him upside his carrot masher.

 

[Shatmandu]

Bele: "Just wait until you meet the humanoids from Cheron II: half Asian and half Puerto Rican."

 

[Rat Boy]

In that split second, Uhura suddenly discovers that Bele has no asshole, where crap comes out of him, and what he had mistaken the console for.

 

[M'Sharak]

"Can you not see that this dispenser is empty? Hurry, Centurion, and fetch me
another roll, before I decide to order your carcass stuffed into the disposal chute!"

 

[Captain Crow]

Will Kirk irk as Spock gets hinky with Mr. Winky?

Will Sulu get loosey goosey as he takes it in the caboosey?

Will McCoy destroy whoever put the cum in his Rum?

Will Christine stay pristine or will she buy a rock from Carl Spock?

Will Scotty get hotty while he's on the potty?

Will Spock get the runs as I continue these puns?

And will Batman and Fatman and a bunch of standins who are now hasbins stop the Riddler from calling Bette Midler?

Find out next week!
Same Trek Time!
Same Trek Channel!