TOS Caption Contest Scrimage #1

[NathanielM]

[

KIRK: Now you are under oath Mr. Scott... tell me you did not kill her just to dress up in her clothes and dance around engineering.

Scotty: I dinna remember!

 

[NathanielM]

Chapel: Dr. McCoy I know Captain Kirk was cloned in "What little girls are made of Episode" So why are you trying to clone everyone with hair like mine?

McCoy: MMM because its in baaabe!

 

[Triskelion]

In the future, technology replaces the brown bag with a projection of the person of your choice.

Kirk: I got two.
Kodos: I'm the star of the show, idiot.
Kirk: Ok, ok, ten percent off.
Kodos: Fine.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Mechabukkake!

Karidian: "That Kirk, what a maroon, what a nincompoop. He'll never see through my cunning design, never realise that I was the one, yes I, Kodos who brought peace and tranquility to Tarsus in the only way that was... He's behind me isn't he...? with a kick me sign..."

 

[Triskelion]

McCoy: He's dead, Jim.
Chapel: ...

Kirk: Mr Scott, don't you multiply all your estimates by four?
Scott: I dinnae that time, Captain, I swear.
Kirk: Hm. Then...were you talking about length or girth?
Scott: Girth.
Computer: Error.
Scott: <hangs head>

 

[Rat Boy]

Nomad: "404 Error. File not found."

Spock: "I believe he is using a primitive and flawed software browser known as 'Internet Explorer.'"

Kodos: "Look, I said I was sorry. I only hope that check can provide you with some peace of mind."

Kirk: "This check is only for three dollars!"

 

[Zachary Smith]

NOMAD: "License and registration, please . . . "

Uhura (thinking): WTF? Racial profiling in the 23rd century?

Kirk had been following Kardian all day trying to get JUST the right angle as, unfortunately, the only known photo of Kodos in existence showed just the BACK of his head . . .

Hoss Cartwright just couldn't believe some of the CRAZY shit he'd been hearing and seeing ever since getting tangled in them sparkly lights on the back-forty of the Ponderosa and finding himself among these people who wore their pajamas all day.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Tell me where I can find this woman! The one with the backside the size of a Class F shuttlecraft!"

Karidian: "For the last time, it's Karidian, not Kardashian."

 

[cooleddie74]

NOMAD:"A little Oust.

Seriously, carbon unit.

Take a shower every once in a while."

KIRK:"This isn't MY cell phone bill! And since when do I make long-distance calls in the middle of the night to SINGAPORE?!"

 

[cooleddie74]

In Soviet Federation, disco ball dances to you.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Could you make her forget that one time in her dorm room at the academy? Thanks."

 

[Mysterion]

.

Spock: So...left, left, up, up, left, down?
Kirk: No! For the last time: left, RIGHT, up, down, left, up!!!! You might be good at chess, but you SUCK at Super Mario Brothers! "Vulcan Superiority', my ass!

 

[Mysterion]

Uhura: So, tell me again: who's this Obi-Wan and what exactly am i suppossed to be helping him do?

 

[cooleddie74]

NOMAD:"Mosquito repellant.

Just a precaution. It's the summer months in this sector."

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK:"Great, Jim.

Thanks a lot.

You just made me drop my vegetarian snack wrap in my lap."

 

[M'Sharak]

ANNCR: We've replaced Uhura's regular brain with Folger's Crystals. Let's see if she notices!

 

[cooleddie74]

By the year 2267, the retail employees giving out free samples of perfume and cologne in department stores had become FAR too aggressive.

 

[Triskelion]

NOMAD: You are an inferior being who is easily reprogrammed.
Uhura: Oh, you're just projecting.

Solve the equation, Spock?
Indeed. The answer is eleven.

Did you leave this flyer on my doorknob?
I know nothing about that.
It's an advertisement for a hoity-toity stage play about effete men with oversized vocabularies.
I'm far too busy for the likes of you good sir! Good day sir!

 

[Rat Boy]

Centurion: "Not now, Decius; the Commander's still pissed that no one's captioning this photo."

Karidian: "I AM TIIIIIIIIIIIIRED!"

Kirk: "Look, I had to put up with Spock shouting about the women for a year. If you don't knock that shit out, I'm dumping you on the nearest asteroid."

 

[Shatmandu]

Nomad: "I find no evidence of a conversation with Martin Luther King, Jr."

"Karidian": "My daughter is not for sale, young man."