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TOS Caption Contest #96 - Bent Over

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Okay Chris, one more time. While I sweet talk that Orion slave girl you keep Dehner busy with the old "push my button" trick.


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Oh my Captain Pike...I had no idea!!
 
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Mitchell soon discovered Elizabeth was anything but a walking freezer unit.
 
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Kirk: "Hey Chris, you'd really be enjoying these bisexual strippers you got for your birthday if your penis and testicles hadn't been burned away in that accident, huh?"
 
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Kirk: Hey Chris, isn't it weird that Stephen Hawking had a talking computer in the 20th Century and all you have is a blinking light?

or...

Kirk: Chris, we are not going to give you a voice box like Stephen Hawking. That computer's droning voice would only make your whining all the more annoying to everyone else.


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Star Trek Pilot 2: Electric Bugaloo
 
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What happens when you mix this Caption Contest with the Galactic Barrier.
 
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Eating the tainted fish didn't kill Dehner. She just felt that way.
 
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Kirk: "Did you see where I left my keys?"
Pike: "Beep."
Kirk: "Where?"
Pike pauses, then his eyes flit to Kirk.
Kirk: "Oh. We'll have to do your fuckin' 'Am I getting warmer?' bullshit, won't we?"
Pike pauses again, then, somehow sadly: "Beep."


-- or --

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Kirk: "I know how you feel. I had a salt-sucker almost dry my ass out. Well, fell better! <leaves>"
 
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Kirk: We all have our crosses to bear, Chris. I haven't been able to stand up straight since that tragic transporter accident.
 
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Kirk: Your face is freaking everybody out. We've taken a vote and we've decided to put you in the corner of the room while we finish our dinner.

Pike:

Kirk: Oh, yeah, I pulled your battery. We also voted that the beeping was getting a little annoying.
 
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After seeing a rough cut, Paramount started to have second thoughts about JJ Abrams' Trek film.
 
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