TOS Caption Contest #95 - Killing Mercy

[Shatmandu]

Kor: "Your farts sound like the tearing of a bedsheet."
Kirk, whispering: "Spock."

Kirk: "Tights itchy?"
Spock: "Yes, Captain."
Kirk: "I'll scratch yours if you scratch mine."
Spock: "The Klingons, Captain. And the Organians. We must stay focused."
Kirk sighs, and they continue planning sabotage.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kor: "Fine, fine, we'll leave Organia, but please tell him to stop doing that."

 

[Outpost4]

Kor: He is a Vulcan rough trader?

 

[cooleddie74]

"What the...

By the sword of Kahless himself...what did you EAT?!"

KIRK:"What are our chances of getting out of this now?"

SPOCK:"Approximately 2,705.9 to 1."

KIRK:"Showoff. If we get back I'm demoting your ass."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Count yourself fortunate, Organian.

Under our rule, the domestic yellow velour industry will continue to thrive."

"Does James Tiberius Kirk have to choke an Organian bitch?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

From my series at the ENT CAPCON

T'POL: " Every Friday its the same damned thing, dinner at Medieval Times!!!"

ARCHER:"I bought you a hat!"

SPOCK: "Great, there goes our tip!"

 

[cooleddie74]

KOR:"Nice rags, rag."

KIRK:"Nice ass, ass."

"Awwww, COME ON.

Not one of you wants to arm wrestle?

Pussies. The Klingons can HAVE you."

 

[Rat Boy]

From my series at the ENT CAPCON

T'POL: " Every Friday its the same damned thing, dinner at Medieval Times!!!"

ARCHER:"I bought you a hat!"

SPOCK: "Great, there goes our tip!"

Kirk: "Ask them if they want a refill of their Pepsi."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"DAMN that Guardian of Forever!!

Evasive action...let's get the hell outta here!!!"

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Kirk: [Thinking] "I hope he doesn't notice"
Kor:[Thinking] "Captain that was a nasty one"

Kirk: "But, gentlemen, that fish I caught really was this big."

 

[Triskelion]

But...I'm too young and pretty to be invited as a member of the Bitter Old Farts Society!

In'Cha.

Speak English, Kor.

Looking good there, metric boy.

 

[Rat Boy]

When they couldn't get seats at Medieval Times, Kirk and Spock ate at Chevy's.

 

[cooleddie74]

KOR:"You may be a man I can deal with Baroner.

Come with me.

I assume you can put your feet behind your head?"

"Gentlemen...

please...

give my Jimmy Cagney impression one more chance!

YOU DIRTY CORPOREALS! YOU KILLED MY STAR SYSTEM!"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"You distract the Klingons with a comically-oversized cooked turkey leg and a mace.

I'll sneak up the stairs back there and dump boiling oil on them from above."

 

[Woulfe]

A funny thing happened on the way to Paramount Pictures......

Kor : You want to do what ?

Kirk : Sneak onto the lot and get into the new movie by being in disguise.

Kor : It'll never work....

Kirk : I've got to try.

~ Later ~

The head honchos at Paramount were not amused by Shatner's attempt to sneak into the new movie....

Kirk : I took a wrong turn on the way to an Interview for Entainment Tonight ?

Brad Grey : I don't think so....

 

[cooleddie74]

"You disapprove, Baroner?

If you dislike our Mind Scanner, wait until you are subjected to our Anal Scraper."

"...and that's the story of how I once saved Christmas!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KOR: What planet are you from?
KIRK: What?
KOR: What ain't no planet I ever heard of. They speak Klingonese on What?
KIRK: What?
KOR: Klingonese, motherfucker, do you speak it?

 

[Rat Boy]

KOR: What planet are you from?
KIRK: What?
KOR: What ain't no planet I ever heard of. They speak Klingonese on What?
KIRK: What?
KOR: Klingonese, motherfucker, do you speak it?

Kor: "Then you know what I'm saying. Describe, what Koloth, looks like!"

Kirk: "What?"

Kor: "Say "what" again! SAY "WHAT" AGAIN!!! I dare you!!! I DOUBLE-DARE you, motherfucker!!! Say "what" ONE MORE GODDANM TIME!!!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kor: "Now that we occupy your planet, I shall occupy your rectum."

Kirk: "How should I know where Outpost4 is now? Maybe at Six Flags, losing his head?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kor: "Is it the bag of cats? IS IT THE BAG OF CATS?!"