TOS Caption Contest #95 - Killing Mercy

[Outpost4]

Is it Sunday yet? Damn Sombreroprise thread...makes me forget my responsibilities.

This week's winners were Gertch, with a classic, and Diesel Micky Dolenz. He figured out that "let's eat dog" joke I was working on all week.

Kirk: Scotty, I'm afraid "them's good eatin'" is not a sufficient reason to beam them aboard.

Scotty (from other side of the table): "It's green."

For this week's pics, we're going to Organia.

Anybody who exhibits god-like powers while captioning will be banned for taking all the fun out of it!


TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138
A beaker full of death (3x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alyssa
ancient
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
cakes516
CaptainJon
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (14x)
cultcross
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Diesel Micky Dolenz (7x)

Plus one this time for a total of 8!
DrBob (7x)
DS9Sega (4x)
EliyahuQeoni (2x)
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gertch (17x)

Plus one this time for a total of 18!
goldbug
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (2x)
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
jptrekker
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
Mojochi
M'Sharak (9x)
NCC-1701 (6x)
Nerys Myk (16x)

Noname Given
Outpost4 (13x)
Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (23x)

Redfern
SciFi75 (4x)
scottydog (14x)
Shatmandu (10x)

Sir Rhosis (2x)
T'Bonz (7x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (10x)
The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (9x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2)
Tim M (3x)
Triskelion (5x)
Tristan
Turbo
vassa
Woulfe (3x)

Mudd Club

 

[Outpost4]

Kor: You really are stupid enough to think pointed sideburns are cool?

Kirk: But I cleaned my apartment perfectly. Why can't I get my damage deposit back?

 

[Nathan_Heller]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #95 - Mercy Killing

Kirk, you are such a Potsie!

Your Honors, I swear I didn't know she was only 14!

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

and Diesel Micky Dolenz. He figured out that "let's eat dog" joke I was working on all week.

Much thanks for the win!

Kor (thinking): Damn, Kang was right. He does have a pretty mouth!

Shatner: You believed that whole 'I don't do cameos' thing? Tell Abrams it was just a joke. I only need a small part. A few lines at most... I'll even share a trailer with Quinto!

 

[Outpost4]

Kor: We Klingons are proud of our receding hairlines!

Kirk: But, gentlemen, if you don't vote for him, who will vote for Senator McCain?

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

"I give up, how do you get the doors to do that?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kor: "These trough urinals come in handy while searching for Federation spies, <looks down> since their penises are circumcised at an angle ... <looks up> like their sideburns ..."
<pants-down fistfight ensues>

Kirk: "You're not putting me through to Hollywood? Fuck you!"

 

[Outpost4]

"Can we borrow this table to play shuffleboard?"

 

[Swarles Barkley]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #95 - Mercy Killing

Shatmandu totally stole my thunder, but since I went to the trouble to (badly) PhotoShop this:

(Kirk finishes his rendition of "Rocket Man")

Organian 1: Yo dawg, that was a little pitchy.
Organian 2: I loved it! I love you! You're a star, Jimmy, a star!
Organian 3: That was awwwwwful. It was karaoke. You sounded like a lounge singer on one of those cruise starships.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kor: "Yeah, well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard, that's my policy."

Kirk: "Intent? How did you establish that?"

Kor: "When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross."

Kirk: "I think he's got a point."

Kirk: "Know what it takes to sell real estate? It takes BRASS BALLS to sell real estate."

 

[John Picard]

Klingon: "Denny -- WHO?"

Shatner: "...and by the end of today's hearing, the Organian council will understand what it means to be amazed at the utterance of the name, "Denny Crane".

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

"Human, explain these "sombreros" to me."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kor: "Because I can't afford to add cranial ridges right now. Maybe someday. Why do you ask?"

Kirk: "If your women are as pliable and agreeable as you gents, I predict this is going to be a great expedition."

 

[Rat Boy]

Grignak (offscreen): "Blend you name, money I name, otherwise coffee nooooooooooo!"

Kor: "We've been at this for an hour. Let me kill him!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kor, acid: "Rule #6 in my Occupation Rule Book, clearly posted, bans the at-the-urinal sneak-a-peek you just performed."
Kirk: "But I didn't ..."
Kor, whispering: "Shhhh, shhhh. I won't tell anyone. Come to my office in an hour ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kor: "You know that farting before me is punishable by death?"

Kirk: "Was it your turn?"

 

[Gertch]

Woohoo I won. Thank you!

In the mens room...

Kor: "Puny humans."

Kirk: "I'm a grower."

 

[Outpost4]

Kor: We've got to stop meeting like this.

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Kor: I was named "Miss Bloodworm" my senior year. Insult the sash at your own peril, human!

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Even though I'm from this backwater planet, I've heard all Klingon women like it right directly up the ass ..."

Kirk, tense: "The Klingons will rape your women!"
Elder, stage left, softly, genially: "Have you seen my wife?"