TOS Caption Contest #87 - Bridge Mix 2

[Swarles Barkley]

Kirk: Yeah. I'd like to place an order.
Computer: What would you like?
Kirk: Yeah, I'd like three orders of garlic chicken.
Computer: And then?
Kirk: And then three orders of white rice.
Computer: And then?
Kirk: And then..., you guys want soup?
Crewman: Sure.
Kirk: Yeah, Three orders of plomeek soup.
Computer: And then?
Kirk: Oh, ah, some fortune cookies too.
Computer: And then?
Kirk: That's it. I think that's about it.
Computer: And then?
Kirk: No. That's it.
Computer: And then?
Kirk: No 'and then'. I..., I..., that's all I want.
Computer: And then?
Kirk: And then, and then, and then I'm, then nothing else coz I'm done ordering. OK?
Computer: And then?
Kirk: No. No. See, all I want is the three orders of the garlic chicken and the three orders of the white rice
Computer: And then?
Crewman: And the soup dude.
Kirk: Oh, and the plomeek soup.
Computer: And then?
Sulu (offscreen): And the cookies fortune.
Kirk: And the fortune cookies, yes. So it's just the, it's the, the chicken...
the rice, the soup and the fortune cookies and that's it.
Computer: And then?
Kirk: And then you can put it in a brown paper bag and come put in my hand coz I'm ready to eat.
Computer: And then?
Kirk: I refuse to play your chinese food mind games.
Computer: And then?
Kirk: No, No 'and then'!
Computer: And then?
Kirk: No 'and then'!
Computer: And then?
Kirk: No 'and then'!
Computer: And then?
Kirk: No 'and then'!
Computer: And then?
Kirk: No 'and then'!
Computer: And then?
Kirk: No, no 'and then'!
Computer: And then?
Kirk: You're really starting to piss me off computer!
Computer: And then?
Kirk: And then, I'm gonna come in there...and I'm gonna put my foot in your ass if you say 'and then' again!
Computer: And then? And then? And then? And then? And then? And then?
Kirk: Sulu...maybe you can talk to this thing...

 

[Shatmandu]

As the years wore on, Kirk became less and less picky about the mechanical females he was attracted to.

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk was still unsure whether he should switch to Vista.

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"PENTE !

I win!"

 

[cooleddie74]

SULU:"I'll wait until he gets up. Besides...I like the residual warmth of Vulcan buttocks."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SULU:Dude, you're in my seat.

SPOCK: I don't see your name on it.

SULU: Look I always sit there.

SPOCK: Yeah, now I'm sitting here.

SULU: Move!!!

SPOCK: Make me!!!!!

CHEKOV (thinking): Fight fight fight

 

[Alyssa]

Tetris reached a whole new level in the 23rd century.

 

[Gertch]

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: I can hardly wait to get home and use my trusty Commodore PET computer instead!

 

[Rat Boy]

Productivity vastly increased when Spock became the ship's official typist.

 

[Woulfe]

Star Trip - Episode - 123 - Bridge Over Troubled Waters

Spock (thinking) : Damn, Sulu makes it look so easy....

Kirk : What do half of these buttons do anyway ?

This Weeks Guest Star : Cher !

 

[Gertch]

Kirk: "Half these buttons are missing! Someone been eating them?"

*Crewman gulps*

 

[Outpost4]

Spock: Mr. Sulu, just because turning your controls into the shape of a smily face 'looks kewl', doesn't mean that's the way we run this ship.

 

[Maurice]

KIRK: Computer. Open the exit hatch.

EDDIE THE COMPUTER: Hi there, this is Eddie your shipboard computer and I'm feeling just great, guys, and I know I'm going to get a bundle of kicks out of any programme you care to run through me...

CREWMAN: I wouldn't trust that computer to to speak my weight.

EDDIE THE COMPUTER: I can do that for you, sure...

KIRK: No thank you.

EDDIE THE COMPUTER: I can even work out your personality problems to ten decimal places, if it'll help.

KIRK: Computer, if you don't open that hatch this moment, I shall go straight to your major data banks with a very large axe and give you a reprogramming you'll never forget, is that clear?

EDDIE THE COMPUTER: (pause) I can see this relationship is something we're all going to have to work at.

 

[Gertch]

Chekov: "Maybe ve could get 2 more and start a band. Ve call it the Sehlats?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Chekov: "Maybe ve could get 2 more and start a band. Ve call it the Sehlats?"

Spock: "Lets stay a three-piece, and we'll be 'Double Dong and the Testes.'"

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: This contest is over? The timer didn't go off!

 

[cooleddie74]

"According to this readout, it appears to be Christmas on the Life Saver planet."