TOS Caption Contest #87 - Bridge Mix 2
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Spock: "Mr. Sulu, have you ever seen a grown man naked?"
Sulu: "Have I?"
Kirk; Crewman, nobody on this bridge gets equipment more impressive than my seat dammit! Scotty, get up here, I need you to add a new module to my chair.
"Curious, I too have a strange urge to look over my shoulder at the Captain."
"But Captain, you're not trained to operate any of the blinking light consoles!"
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Sulu: "Easy on the throttle, this isn't a race you know."
Spock: "I am aware of that."
Sulu: "You must indicate when changing spacelanes."
Spock: "I forgot Ok, give me a break."
Sulu: "There aren't any breaks when you sit your test."
Chekov: "You have driven a stick shift before?"
Spock: "Fucking backseat drivers!"
Spock: Mr. Sulu, you had something to add?
Sulu: Just that your left blinker has been on for the last 30 light years, sir.
Kirk: There, that's better... now stop fucking with the damned thermostat!
Kirk (offscreen): Scotty, have a pole installed in my quarters on the double!
Spock: "This seat is very warm, Mister Sulu. <raises eyebrow> Very ... warm ..."
The Music: "Chicka-bow-wow, chicka-wow, chicka-wow ..."
<They all begin having unprotected sex.>
Kirk later regretted convincing the life support system to commit suicide.
Elaan, thinking: "Here's where all that anal bleaching pays off ..."
Bah! Your captions lack any plot whatsoever, don't these people ever fall in love first?!
Kirk: Uh-oh! It froze up again!
Lt: Try control-alt-delete.
Scotty: Jiggle the cord.
Spock: Turn it off and on.
Sulu: Clean the gunk out of the mouse.
Checkov: Call technical support.
Kirk: OK, OK, it's back online.
Bah! Your captions lack any plot whatsoever, don't these people ever fall in love first?!
Kirk: Oooohh, baby!
Bah! Your captions lack any plot whatsoever, don't these people ever fall in love first?!
Spock: "Mr. Sulu, you best leave the bridge. Shatmandu is bound to post another caption about you."
It's a thinking-man's gay joke, though ...
Spock: "Hmm. Your console is set up for a left-handed person. Clearly you are a homosexual ..."
-- or --
Sulu, thinking: "Heh. They're none-the-wiser .."
KIRK: "What the hell?"
CREWMAN: "Que?"
KIRK: What happened to the door to the...you know?"
CREWMAN: "Que?"
KIRK: The bathroom! There was a bathroom door here last week! I swear there was!"
CREWMAN: "Que?"
KIRK: "How am I supposed to deal with these hourly emergencies when I can't even use the goddamned bathroom? What am I supposed to do, take the frickin' elevator all the way down to deck two? I'm the Captain, for crissakes! WHERE...IS...THEDOOR?!!"
CREWMAN: "Que?"
Crewman (thinking): "I don't like the way he's man-handling her. He doesn't care. Look at the way he just twists and pokes the knobs. No feeling, no commitment. Leave my girl alone you brute. Stop playing with her controls. Get away from her or I'll - "
Kirk: "I swear this computer just shivered."
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