TOS Caption Contest #87 - Bridge Mix 2

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK:"Course set for a standard orbital approach...speed...Warp One.

Sensors at maximum.

Deflectors at the ready.

Rinse.

Spin.

Bleach."

"I'm not sure, Lieutenant...but I think I just sent a hidden signal to the Jolly Rancher factory."

 

[cooleddie74]

First Contact with the S&M People of Autoerotica Prime went smoothly at first...

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Sulu (thinking): He'd better put the seat height back where I like it...

Ensign; Aw c'mon sir, we just got it new, do you have to question its logic already?
Kirk; ...logically YOU ARE IMPERFECT!

Scotty; Anyone see that film Tron?

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "I believe a butt massager is not standard issue, Mr. Sulu."

Kirk: "Oh, cut the bleeding heart crap, will ya? We've all got our switches, lights, and knobs to deal with, Striker. I mean, down here there are literally hundreds and thousands of blinking, beeping, and flashing lights, blinking and beeping and flashing - they're *flashing* and they're *beeping*. I can't stand it anymore! They're *blinking* and *beeping* and *flashing*! Why doesn't somebody pull the plug!"

Scotty: "Mind if I teach her what a spanking is, sir?"

 

[Gertch]

Chekov: "So eet iz logical I idolize you."

Kirk: "There's gotta be a way to replicate a woman who wont talk back."
Crewman: "I've been trying for the past 2 years sir. No luck."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: I've released the parking park. Now what?

KIRK: MMmmm, gum drops!!

Troymate of Year 1968.

 

[MANT!]

Spock "Beats me how he can drive sitting so damn close to the dashboard!!"

Scotty "Captain, your Fembot was just delivered."

 

[Dieks]

Kirk's move is counter attacked by the Romulan champion in the first intergalactic "Connect Four" Tournament.

 

[Dieks]

Mr. Spock is not appeased by Scotty's apology for hitting the "F" button instead of the "M" button in preparing to beam him up from the beach.

 

[Nerys Myk]

CREWMAN: There...ah...have been complaints sir. Some feel your poster is not work place appropriate.

 

[battrekker]

Kirk: "Hey, crewman, have you ever seen a grown man naked?"

 

[M'Sharak]

Chekov: But Meestirr Spock! Lieutenant Sulu always makes the "Vroom-Vroom" noise
when ve go to warp. Now, pliz make with the Vrooming, or I will not lay in the course!
Spock: (thinking) Oh, how I would like to nerve-pinch you where it really hurts!

 

[Tim]

SPOCK: Mr. Sulu, why are these keys sticky?

KIRK: No, that's one order of fries and two hamburgers!

OR

KIRK: Ensign, quickly! Check deuteriumbuddy.com...the light just came on!

OR

KIRK: Wait...why don't any of these buttons have labels?

 

[Gertch]

Kirk: "Spock, how was your trip to Sweden?"
Spock: "Please don't touch my exterior surface Captain."

 

[Triskelion]

^

Elaan: Are you my Daddy?
Mr Scot: Here are the keys to the ship.

Spock: It was the chair, Mr Chekov.
Chekov: Aye sir. These chairs sound funny. Smell funny, too.

 

[S'kai]

Smuggling Mah Jongg sets in the 23rd century would have been a lot easier if William Ware Theiss had been willing to spare the fabric for another layer.

 

[Triskelion]

Can't...get it...to stop...flashing...twelve o'clock!

Chekov: Mr Spock, Sulu doesn't like it when people change his radio settings.
Spock: Chekov, anime pop is simply illogical. Now target their transmitter and fire torpedoes.

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: 42?

Spock: Mr. Sulu, why is your viewer set to Men's Gym?





EDIT: That's it. This is just too easy. That's the very last "Sulu is gay" joke I'm making!


...in this thread.

 

[Mallory]

As usual, everyone was amazed as Spock demonstrated his skill at Tetris on the main display.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "What do you mean we don't have an HDMI port? Now how are we going to hook up the new Blu-Ray player?"