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TOS Caption Contest #76 - OverwHELMed

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Bailey: "Captain, please keep Shatmandu's kids off the bridge from now on, will you?"
 
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Bailey: Captain, do you have any spare UBS cables? We're trying to set up a local area multiplayer so we can goof off and be distracted at critical moments.

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Q. What do Nichelle Nichols, Eddie Paskey, and George Takei have in common?
A. They are three surviving members of the cast who nobody is making a fuss about over their absence from Trek XI.
 
On the good ship Enterprise.....

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Sulu hated haveing to deal with the guys from Microsoft tech support.

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This is what happens when you hardly leave the bridge.....

Mister Leslie thinking to himself " Chekov is looking mighty fine, no wonder Sulu.... WAITASECOND, that's not Chekov at all is it !?!? "
 
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Sulu: "Do we have to keep listening to Gladys Knight and the Pips?"

Captain Uhura: "Who's driving here?"
 
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YELLOWSHIRT: "No, Lieutenant Sulu, I do not believe that is a self-pleasure device laying next to 'that strapping young man's' lunchbox."
 
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Sulu; Well, if the Captain's giving you my job... your uniform's the right colour, you have to remember to look over your shoulder at the captain when something big's on the viewscreen, he likes to think he's reassuring the bridge crew. What else, oh yeah, the big blinking light on the console isn't that important, most of the time it goes off when Leslie farts.

Leslie; Hey!
 
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Uhura: You're driving too close to the cruiser ahead.
Sulu: If you could read a map properly we wouldn't be late.
Leslie: Are we there yet?
Sulu: Quiet Leslie, if I have to come back there...
 
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Sulu, under breath: "Maybe you'd hit the right buttons without the fake nails ..."
Uhura, under breath: "I notice you've got all your nails trimmed down to the quick, ass-fisting bitch."
 
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Bailey: "Captain, are you sure Starfleet knows you turned the Enterprise over to the 'Pimp My Ride' douchebags?"


-- or --


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Bailey: "Still no idea where that 'sperm mixed with shit' smell is coming from, sir."
 
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Chekov: "I have the sudden urge to bend down and go *brrrrrub*!"

Sulu: "Me too!"

Leslie (thinking): Get me off this ship!
 
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Even in the 23rd century, nobody could build a copier that worked.
 
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