TOS Caption Contest #76 - OverwHELMed

[Zombie Cheerleader]

Yellow Shirt: I'll have this baby hot wired and joy riding in snap!

Bailey: Aw geez, is that the cops?

Uhura: So which button opens hailing frequencies?

 

[The Cutest of Borg]

Kirk: "Bailey, what the hell were you doing under the helm? And why is Sulu all hot and bothered?"

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

Kirk: Spock, Sulu.. I think you have some explaining to do!

 

[CaptainJon]

Sulu: Remember what happened when the regular female cast member of our successor took the helm?

Uhura: Don't worry...I'm a much better helmsman then she is.

 

[Zombie Cheerleader]

Sulu: I'll drive, you look at the maps.

 

[Zycho32]

Bobby: (thinking) ...'The door to my quarters still rattles when it opens. Would you stop by and see if you can do something abo-' (Speaking) SHIT! That wasn't what she meant at all!!

Leslie: I-
Sulu/Uhura: Shut the fuck up, Leslie.
Leslie: ...

 

[Maurice]

...and that was the last time Sulu and Bailey tried hotwiring the Enterprise for a joyride.

Leslie: You're wearing gold, but you're no man!
Uhura: I'm more man than you'll ever be and more woman than you'll ever have!
Sulu: (muttering) ...just ignore them... just ignore them...

 

[Outpost4]

An outtake from Pimp My Starship, episode #47.

 

[Outpost4]

Leslie: That two-timing, backstabbing, lying...it's over, Uhura.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Sulu: "There's that idiot Bob Wesley blocking the exit from spacedock. Flash your highbeams at him, see if that will make him shift."

Uhura: "Ok, let's see..."

...

...

Sulu: "I didn't mean the headlights."

 

[Shatmandu]

<photon torpedo sound effect>

Bailey: "What the fuck was that?"
Sulu: "Ah, shit."

Sulu: "Don't let your tits get in the way, breeder."

 

[Outpost4]

Leslie: That two-timing, backstabbing, lying...it's over, Sulu.

 

[Shatmandu]

Sulu: "My ... GOD. It's full of anuses."

 

[Turbo]

Sulu: Uh...?
Uhura: Because you've caused severe psychological trauma to the last 14 male navigators. Or do you have another explanation for them all crying out to be saved from D'Artagnan?

 

[scottydog]

Sulu: "My ... GOD. It's full of anuses."

Spock (offscreen): "The correct term, Mr. Sulu, is ani. It is indeed full of ani, and those ani shall soon be full of you."

 

[Rat Boy]

Leslie (thinking): That kid will do anything for a promotion.

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Bailey; Sir, couldn't we just pay someone to install the damn cd player for us?

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Sulu; Captain, I just don't think the ship's computer will interface with your iPod.

Kirk; Uhura, patch me through to the 8-track room.

 

[Shatmandu]

Uhura, under breath: "You still trying to pass, sissy?"
Sulu, under breath: "Nice weave. It come with a bag of chips?"


-- or --

Kirk, offscreen: "Ah, jeez, it's like I've got the fuckin' Democratic Party drivin' my ship ..."

 

[Jackson_Roykirk]

Mr. Leslie was quite disappointed when the Captain didn't ask him to man the Navigator's console. However, in a later episode he will feel much better when Kirk asks him to be part of the landing party that is to do a survey of Planet Argus X.