TOS Caption Contest #75 - Time Warped

[Outpost4]

Charlie was having trouble with the rule you can't tag someone twice in a row, especially in the same place.

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

In revenge for an imagined slight, Spock beams up all of the Captain's previous flings, much to the amusement of the senior officers.

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "But you can always kiss me while my nail polish is drying."

 

[Shatmandu]

Welcome back, Outpost4!

Rand: "Next time, just be careful you don't add any more 'honey' to my beehive, okay?"

McCoy: "Second, inner-eyelid; super-hearing; giant, invisible penis. Is there anything else about Vulcan psysiology I should know?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Spock, I'm only going to ask you this one more time: where did you beam my pants?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk, angry: "Use your hand to operate the controls next time, Mister."


-- or --

Spock: "No, Captain. The last time I went on shore leave with a drunken Mr. Scott, when I woke up, he was using my forehead as a toilet seat."

 

[Outpost4]

Naive, Charlie greatly regretted pulling the string.

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Anticipating a McCain loss, the GOP assembled its team of candidates for the 2012 election.

Charlie and Janice both found great pleasure in Janice's remote-controlled vibrator.

Kirk: Scotty's staring at my ass again, isn't he?

 

[Woulfe]

Kirk : You're saying you've NEVER seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show ?

 

[cooleddie74]

"Nice ass, Red. Though if you like I can show you an old Thasian firming and toning method that will make that apple even shinier!"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"You have got to see this, Spock! A planet where all the women can squat over antigrav traffic dividers and take EVERY INCH!!"

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

KIRK: What do you mean she prefers Scotsmen?

 

[Starseeker]

Spock, I'm not asking for much. Just leave 10 to 15 pounds of me on the planet next time you beam me up. I'm running out of uniforms that fit, dammit!

 

[Outpost4]

KIRK: Not another landing party with Mr. Scott, please. You've
never shared a bathroom with him. I now know what "borgas frat"
means...he's standing right behind me, isn't he?

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

The casting call for the next Terry Pratchett adaptation...
Cohen the Barbarian and his horde...

Whut!

In the 23rd Century, Happy Slapping was still a sign of teenage delinquency.

Spock: "What is wrong with the Captain?"
McCoy: "Temporary paralysis, should wear off in a couple of hours."
Scott: "Poor laddie caught a glimpse of Maxi Mounds"

 

[Rat Boy]

Frederik Pohl relates the story of his visit to the Trek set 40 years ago.

Rand wonders why "Stayin' Alive" always played through the ship's intercom whenever Charlie walked by.

Spock: "Sorry, Captain, but unless you reeled it in, I don't believe you."

 

[Shatmandu]

Frederick Pohl died later that day in a tragic Sands-A-Belt Slacks strangling accident.

To save confusion, Rand attached a "Take A Number" dispenser to her ass.

Kirk: "There's this spot I know where the women are ..."
Scotty: "Let's go see!"
Spock: "Last time we did this, we added Uhura to the crew."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Hold on a sec...you...you...

Yeah. Got it. Someone stuck a pencil in your crack."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: "Tell me what you think of this one...here...check this out...

You Dirty Rat! You Killed My Brother! Ju-dy! Ju-dy! JU-DY!


Nothing?

Screw you, then."

 

[Turbo]

Shatner: C'mon, Leonard, Lord knows I don't ask for much!
Nimoy: Absolutely not. Your hairpieces alone would send the film several million dollars overbudget.