TOS Caption Contest #65 - Senior Citizens on Parade

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "Hey baby, what's your sign? How bout I transport you to heaven and back?"

Wallace: "That's Doctor McCoy, Captain."

Kirk: "Whut?"

Chapel: "YOU'RE TRYING TO HIT ON THE DOCTOR! Blind old buzzard. Broke a hip last time trying to dry hump a photon torpedo!"

It's a little known fact, but Vulcans get more excitable the closer it gets to Christmas.

 

[Mallory]

The concept of "trophy wives" continued unabated in the 23rd century.

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "Testicles now descended, Captain."

 

[CaptainJon]

Security was summoned the moment Bill Shatner turned up on the set of the new Star Trek movie, bringing the corpse of DeForrest Kelly with him for backup.

 

[Ihlecreations]

With the aspect ratio on newer televisions being larger than in the past certain "little" things now require some censoring.

 

[Tim]

KIRK: But Janet, Bones won't give me the damned Viagra!

SPOCK: Don't stop, Christine...

 

[Gertch]

SPOCK: "That's - that's "Take me home again Kathleen." I love that song."

 

[M'Sharak]

Yes, that's it -- ice cream!

 

[Kegek]

Only one thing can make Spock smile like this.

The thought of Kirk and McCoy reduced to worthless, doddering old men.

Spock is a cruel, vindictive jerk at heart.

 

[T'Bonz]

Spock has a new spring in his step and a big new swing of confidence in his golf game after taking Enzyte for his Pon Farr problems.

 

[Rat Boy]

Data & Spock (singing): "But then I had to spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you..."

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

McCoy: Blast it, Jim! The captain gets the girl!

Kirk: Sorry, Alan, must be the Mad Cow. Sleepover tonight?

"Hey, Doc, you using the whole fist?"

 

[cooleddie74]

WALLACE:"No, Jim. That's the door to Dr. McCoy's broom closet. Not the hallway."

"The colors! The illogically bright and unnaturally vibrant colors!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Data & Spock (singing): "And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know
Wo wo wo..."

Worf: "Ugh. Simon & Garfunkel."

 

[Super Grover]

SpiderMonkeeDolenz said:

"Hey, Doc, you using the whole fist?"

Now that's a good Fletch refrence.

 

[Super Grover]

We can't fight the Klingons like we used to in the old days. Now we bore them with our stories. And in those days we all wore an onion on our belts, And we had to use the big yellow onions since there was a war on. And we had pictures of Bees on our nickels. "Gimme five bees for dime we'd all say." And in those days we took the trolley car to get downtown. And this whole area was nothing but orange groves as far as the eye could see. But the point is we all wore an onion on our belt.

Wow, Vulcans can look up.

 

[Rat Boy]

Shatner: "Damn you, Abrams! Let me be in this movie! I even fit into my original girdle!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

"...and I was fat, wore a girdle, had a topee, looked like I was senile..."
Kelly: "It's all right Bill -- it was just a dream."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Dang nabbit, Janet!!

Can't you let a dyin', decrepit starship captain and old friend give his chief surgeon a sloppy wet man-kiss before we both die?!"

"Shir'kahr...Shir'kahr...a helluva town...the temple is up...and the sehlats are down!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Oh, NO.

Anything but more Cooleddie captions. Fek'lhr...take me now!"