TOS Caption Contest #64 - Yours Sincerely, Wasting Away

[Outpost4]

OK, you turkeys, it's time to stuff it and get on with a new caption contest. Gobble gobble.

Last week we have one first time winner and two old timers.

Nerys Myk said:

Boyce: What do you got there Chris?

Pike: Want ads. I'm looking for a job that requires sitting in a chair all day and answering simple yes or no questions.

SpiderMonkeeDolenz said:

Kirk: ... so the farmer said, "you wouldn't eat a pig like that all at once!"

cooleddie74 said:

Provides upwards of 97.1245678999123457781 % of daily nutritional requirements as mandated by Vulcan Dietary Law!

Congratulations. Now get some cold mashed potatoes out of the refrigerator and make some lunch.


This week we have Kirk reading something important and Scotty with a problem.

TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

A Beaker Full Of Death (2x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
ancient
Bad Atom
Battrekker
cakes516
CaptainJon
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (9x)

Plus one this time for a total of 10!
cultcross
DeafPoet
DrBob (5x)
DS9Sega
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gertch (8x)
goldbug
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
Kahloke
KJM
Mallory
MGagen
Mojochi
M'Sharak (4x)
NathanielM (2x)
Nerys Myk (9x)

Plus one this time for a total of 10!
Noname Given
Outpost4 (12x)
Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (13x)
Redfern
scottydog (9x)
Shatmandu (4x)
Sir Rhosis
SpiderMonkeeDolenz

First Time Winner!
T'Bonz (5x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
The Castellan
The Laughing Vulcan (6x)
The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (4x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness
Tim M (2x)
Tristan
Turbo
vassa
Woulfe (2x)

 

[Outpost4]

Shatner: It clearly states here that if Nimoy gets a trailer, I get a trailer.

Scotty: I can see that Kevin Riley turned his guitar up to eleven again.

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "E Plebneesta, E Plebneesta.... I know what this means! You have a yeast infection!"

Scotty: "That's it. We're putting those tribbles back on a low-fiber diet."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "I don't care if you wear them over your shoulders, it states right here, tax is due on all toupees worn, it's a burden we must all bear."

Scotty: "I'm a little teapot, short and... Hold on! Where's my spout?"

Blueshirt: "Same place as your finger?"

 

[SciFi75]

Scotty: Aye, look at the condition of me balls!

 

[SciFi75]

Kirk: It was called the constitution. Some nitwit in the early twenty first century turned it into toilet paper. I think his name was Emperor Shrub or something.

 

[The Tone]

Kirk: Down through the centuries you have slurred these words "Lucy. In. The. Sky. With. Diamonds."

 

[Outpost4]

SciFi75 said:

Scotty: Aye, look at the condition of me balls!

 

[Outpost4]

Shatner: No, unless I approve a change in writing, I'm guaranteed to be the sweatiest actor in any scene.

 

[M'Sharak]

I dinna like it. Nae, I dinna like it one bit. Someone has been
playin' wi' my balls, an' I wasn't even here ta enjoy it!

I... just... don't... Imeanlookatthis! How. Cantheyexpect. Any sort
of. Decent. Reading. With lineslike these? There's. Justnoway!

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "My bairns, my poor, poor..."

McCoy: "Get ahold of yourself, Scotty! This isn't even your engine room!"

Scotty: "What? Oh? Then piss on it, then."

Kirk: "Fifty hours? Who could you be text messaging that much?"

Cloud William: "IDK. My BFF Mountain George?"

 

[Mallory]

Kirk: And Bonz clearly stated here that there are no rules in TNZ regarding flaming and trolling and that what happens in TNZ stays in TNZ. So stop complaining.

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Damn.

You guys knew John Cheever?"

SCOTTY:"Bloody well figures.

An abandoned, empty starship almost a thousand feet long...and I still can't find a borgas wrench."

 

[Woulfe]

Shatner : Gene, what are you trying to do to me ?

Gene : Just read it, okay.

Scotty : Okay, that's it, no more wild parties here again.

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"E Pleb Neesta...broke be hearted...pay korter...only fart-hed.


Oh, REAL funny."

"Legend has it, lads, that Freddy Krueger's great-great-great-great-great nephew was killed down in this engine room...and his bloody spirit comes back every so often to torment and kill wee redshirts on the lower decks in their sleep!"

 

[Outpost4]

Shatner: But this is a picture of Patrick Stewart. Why do you want me to autograph it?

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "A crossover with the 'Dukes of Hazzard?' Have you lost your mind, Gene?"

Scotty: "All right, who forgot to clean the chimney before we lit the fire?"

 

[Outpost4]

Scotty: I think we blew a fuse.

 

[cooleddie74]

"Wha...?!

I'M in the obituaries!!!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Shatner: Sorry, no refunds or repairs. Your warranty has clearly expired

The 23rd Century cast for "Queer Eye For the Straight Guy"