TOS Caption Contest #61 - Borgas Rat edition

[Outpost4]

Things were never the same after Sulu took up drifting.

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "And you believe that this Shatmandu has the secret for removing bags of cats from one's head?"

Kirk: "He'd better. You haven't been able to do shit all month because of that thing."

Cat: "Meow!"

Kirk: "SHUT THE HELL UP!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Playing "Spin the Bridge" at boy/girl parties was very popular.

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock found a way to unscramble the porn channel, but unfortunately, it was the all Balok's Puppet porn channel...

Balok's Puppet: "Mr. Delivery Man, you have three minutes left!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Sulu: "Oh God, what is that stench?"
Farrell: "It smells like someone died. Is it coming from behind the bulkhead?"
Uhura: "I think I'm going to be sick."
Spock: "I believe my presence is required in sickbay. I have a proctology exam scheduled."
Kirk: "Kirk to Scott, I think we've found your finger."

 

[scottydog]

^Oh God. I don't know whether to laugh or throw up! Or both!

 

[Amaris]

Kirk: "Dammit, Spock. It took my dollar."
Spock: "Captain, would you not agree that this may not be the best time for a snack? We must head upstairs to Apartment 12 B and speak to Mr. Seven."
Kirk: "Dammit, Spock. I want my pretzels, and this damn...thing, won't dispense with them after I gave it my dollar!"
Spock: "There is food back on the Enterpri-"
Kirk: "Spock. I've got an idea. Use your phaser to blast open a hole in the glass."
Spock: *sigh*, "Very well Captain, since we must speed events along."


J.

 

[M'Sharak]

Spock: Just one thing -- use that "mechanical rice-picker" gag again, and...
Kirk: Plasma enema, Mr. Spock?
Spock: Remember!

 

[cooleddie74]

"Hi, I'm Elder Kirk from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints...this is my mission companion Elder Spock...and we're here today to share a message about warp drive, the danger of Klingons and everlasting happiness in this crazy, mixed-up galaxy!"

 

[cooleddie74]

Rigging the bridge with twenty woofers and forty tweeters seemed like a cool idea at first...until Chekov hit "play" on the uploaded file of an old 20th century Black Sabbath song.

 

[Outpost4]

The revolving restaurant concept never worked.

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk and Spock fell on hard times after the show was cancelled.

 

[cooleddie74]

Door-to-door whoopee cushion sales helped Kirk and Spock fund the construction of a device to return the time-lost officers to their own century.

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: Let me do the talking, Spock. We've got to get our damage deposit back.

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: Sulu! Turn off spin dry!

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "I thought I told you people that you canna engage the warp drive with only one warp nacelle!"

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: Uhura! Get Stella Mudd off of the viewscreen NOW!

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: "You wanna back up a bit Spock? A man's PIN number is private!"

SPOCK (thinking): "Like everyone doesn't know it's your service number: SC9370176CEC."


Inspired by J. Allen

 

[Gertch]

Another J. Allen inspired image...

Spock: "NO JIM!"

 

[Ssosmcin]

After the stench dissipated, Kirk would have a stern talk with "Skidmarks" Chekov about his "Gaseous Anomalies."