TOS Caption Contest #61 - Borgas Rat edition

[Outpost4]

OK. I've got halftime of the Packer/Chiefs game to get this done. And nothing will interfere with the Colts/Pats game later.

I laughed a lot this week judging the captions. For our winners, two oldtimers came through, accompanied by another first time funny guy. The Old Mixer won for being true to Trek, The Laughing Vulcan for being true to life and cooleddie74 for being true to his own particularly sick sense of humor. My kind of winners. :thumbsup:

The Old Mixer said:

"Where's the damn anti-matter inducer?"
"That? No...that!"
"Damn these unlabeled buttons--reading Klingon would be easier...!"

cooleddie74 said:

SCOTTY:"Gently, lads.

The ship...she likes to be entered softly."

The Laughing Vulcan said:

Gene thinking: "Assholes cancelled my baby. Okay. No conflict, no money, evolved humanity, a kid on the

bridge, French Captain. Let's see 'em get a long running money spinner out of that."

We do have one bonus winner this week. It's scottydog for this gem:

scottydog said:

To gain control of the Caption Contest, Outpost4 and Rat Boy take care of Shatmandu.

This caption wins scottydog a trophy and Rat Boy two of them, making Rat Boy now the all-time top prize winner in the TOS Caption Contest. We're even, dude.



This week we have a commotion on the bridge and Spock and Kirk going door to door.

TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

A Beaker Full Of Death (2x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
ancient
Battrekker
cakes516
CaptainJon
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (7x)

Plus one this time for a total of 8!
cultcross
DeafPoet
DrBob (5x)
DS9Sega
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gertch (8x)
goldbug
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone
J. Allen
jayrath
Kahloke
KJM
MGagen
Mojochi
M'Sharak (3x)
NathanielM
Nerys Myk (9x)
Noname Given
Outpost4 (12x)
Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (11x)

Plus two this time for a total of 13!
Redfern
scottydog (8x)

Plus one this time for a total of 9!
Shatmandu (4x)
Sir Rhosis
T'Bonz (5x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
The Castellan
The Laughing Vulcan (5x)

Plus one this time for a total of 6!
The Old Mixer

First Time Winner!
The Squire of Gothos (4x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness
Tim M (2x)
Tristan
Turbo
vassa
Woulfe (2x)

 

[Outpost4]

There once was a bathroom on the bridge but then Scotty used it.

CSI: Enterprise

 

[The Old Mixer]

Outpost4 said:
The Old Mixer

First Time Winner!

No way! With all that competition? I'm humbled and honored and stuff.

 

[Maurice]

The crew reels at the shockwaves resulting from thousands of fanboys being forced to admit the bridge dome is NOT a fucking window after all.

KIRK
(rings doorbell)
Land Shark.

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: I'm telling you, it's a lame costume. We'll never get any candy trick-or-treating.

 

[Haggis and tatties]

As the new Klingon itching powder phaser pounded the Enterprise ,the bridge crew struggled to find that one good backscratching spot.

Kirk"(Pressing Bell) Bridge!!!..Bridge come in....Spock why aren't these door working"


Spock" You think you got problems, I've been firing at the door now for 5 Min's and all that's happening is a small light is going on and off".

 

[The Old Mixer]

As cutting-edge as the original Trek was in its day, there were some scenes that the NBC censors wouldn't allow...such as the time when Mr. Spock calculated that the only way to free the Enterpise from a subspace anomaly was to have the entire crew break wind simultaneously....

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: I know Miri's only 12 and is only a B-cup. I still want her.

 

[scottydog]

The crew couldn't believe the Colts collapsed against the Patriots.

 

[Outpost4]

Religion in the 23rd century was a cross between the Unitarians and Jehovah's Witnesses: people wandering about, knocking on doors, but not quite sure why.

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk hated to take over the watch from Chekov. Always Led Zeppelin, always turned up full.

 

[Rat Boy]

Roddenberry finally figured out how to get his actors to react to the ship being attacked: he had joybuzzers placed under their seats.

Kirk: "Hi, you don't know me, but I pushed your great-aunt in front of a truck back in the late Thirties."

 

[Ihlecreations]

Tonight on Federation Dance Party....

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk knew Starfleet was conservative but this crew leaned to the right a little more than he was comfortable with.

 

[Noname Given]

And here we see why Yeoman Janice Rand was never made a Helmsman, nor allowed back on the Bridge, ever again.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Announcer: "This week, on TJ Hooker..."

 

[Sir Rhosis]

Shatner: Mr. Abrams, open up, it's Bill and Leonard. I wanted to talk to you about being in the new movie...

 

[Sisu]

Everytime Bill Shatner's toupee began to slip, the whole cast was under orders to bend to that side - that way, the scene didn't need to be reshot.

Their new careers as Avon Ladies was sure to bring in the money.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Armed with only a universal remote, Nimoy and Shatner went to the home
of every Nielsen Family in a last ditch effort to save the show.

 

[Outpost4]

Spock: I hate this hat.
Kirk: It covers up your ears.
Spock: It would cover half the Orion nebula.
Kirk: Listen, you wouldn't have to wear it if we weren't looking for that pussy you were petting.
Spock: I love this hat.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

In Soviet Russia, Jehovah's Witnesses carry phasers.

Kirk: "Has Scotty... Has Scotty... been at the ... Woah!... been at the doughnuts again?"

Spock: "Scanners indicate that he is now generating his own gravitational field"