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TOS Caption Contest #56 - Regis Philbin guest host edition

Re: TOS Caption Contest #56 - Regis Philbin guest host editi

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Mitchell: "No, really, it used to be 'R.' Wouldn't you change it to 'Tiberius' if your middle name rhymed with a part of the female anatomy?"
 
Re: TOS Caption Contest #56 - Regis Philbin guest host editi

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"The Captain? He's seeing if it's physically possible to really do what Joe says he did. Do you want to watch from here or my cabin?"
 
Re: TOS Caption Contest #56 - Regis Philbin edition

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Pike: Yes, it's fun picking Vulcan Pasties from your Vulcan Pasty garden.


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Mitchell: Come on, lift up your shirts and show me those Vulcan Pasties.
 
Re: TOS Caption Contest #56 - Regis Philbin edition

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Most successful plant on Talos IV, the Talosian Mantrap snares its next meals.


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DEHNER: I've reviewed your medical records, Mr. Mitchell. Frankly, you're not man enough for one of us, let alone both of us.

SULU: <sotto voce> You go, girl!
 
Re: TOS Caption Contest #56 - Regis Philbin edition

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GARY:"The good yeoman here can suck TWO golf balls through a conduit. What can you do, Hot Stuff?"


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PIKE:"If you thought the chiba from Wrigley's Pleasure Planet knocked your duty boots off, Mister Spock, wait until we wind up a few tighties made outta THIS stuff!"
 
Re: TOS Caption Contest #56 - Regis Philbin edition

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Mitchell: Sisters, huh? So do you two share everything?
 
Re: TOS Caption Contest #56 - Regis Philbin edition

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Spock: Funny, I couldn't play it before.
Pike: What, Lieutenant? There are skid marks in front of a skunk.
Spock: The genie thought I said I wanted a twelve inch pianist.
Pike: It's the plant! Let's go to the other side.
Spock: Agreed, Captain. I only have to outrun you.
 
Re: TOS Caption Contest #56 - Regis Philbin edition

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Early puppeteering had mixed results when the actors had to help the guys holding the sticks.
 
Re: TOS Caption Contest #56 - Regis Philbin edition

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GARY:[to Dr. Dehner] You. My room. 10:30 tonight.
[to the Yeomen] You. 10:45... And bring a friend.



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PIKE: "You wanna get high man?"
SPOCK: "Does Howdy Doody got wooden Balls man?"
 
Re: TOS Caption Contest #56 - Regis Philbin edition

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So which do you girls think the camp luitennant will pull first, the scott or the doc?
 
Re: TOS Caption Contest #56 - Regis Philbin edition

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GARY:"If you think I'm hot stuff, now, sister...wait a few years. I'm gonna be talking to a self-aware computer with a homicidal streak."

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PIKE:"Please tell me someone in the landing party remembered to bring rolling papers."
 
Re: TOS Caption Contest #56 - Regis Philbin edition

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Mitchell: Since I got my psychic powers, I have discovered that you two are the only real blondes on board.
 
Re: TOS Caption Contest #56 - Regis Philbin edition

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Greg checks out Marcia and Jan while Mr. Brady looks on disapprovingly with Peter and Bobby.
 
Re: TOS Caption Contest #56 - Regis Philbin edition

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Scotty, Piper, and Sulu look on skeptically as Mitchell shows off his hypnosis techniques on Yeoman Smith and Dr. Dehner.


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Spock: "Hey, you know what that sound reminds me of?"

Pike: "Oh God, not again."

Spock (singing): "In the middle of the Earth, in the land of Shire,
Lives a brave little hobbit whom we all admire.
With his long, wooden pipe, fuzzy wooly toes,
He lives in a hobbit hole and everybody knows him."


Pike: "Stop!"

Rest of landing party (singing): "Bilbo. Bilbo Baggins. Only 3 feet tall.
Bilbo. Bilbo Baggins. Bravest little hobbit of them all."


Pike: "You know we do have survivors to rescue."

Spock (singing): "Now hobbits are peace lovin' folks you know,
They're never in a hurry and they take things slow,
They don't like to travel away from home,
They just want to eat and be left alone.

"But one day Bilbo was asked to go,
On a big adventure to the cave below.
To help some Dwarves get back their gold,
That was stolen by a dragon in the days of old."


Pike: "I'm going to have you up on charges!"
 
Re: TOS Caption Contest #56 - Regis Philbin edition

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Oh yeah, in the early days of Starfleet it was all smiles and giggles as the plants made pretty sounds, until the time came when Starfleet scientists discovered that everytime a blue plant is touched, a red shirt is killed.
 
Re: TOS Caption Contest #56 - Regis Philbin edition

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Mitchell: So what do you say the three of us go back to my quarters and check out my phaser collection?

Scotty: Average. I give it a 7.4
Piper: Maybe a bit better than that. 8.2
Sulu: 4.1
 
Re: TOS Caption Contest #56 - Regis Philbin edition

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Bert: "What cheap-ass puppets."

Ernie: "Well, they are on a low budget, Bert."
 
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