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TOS Caption Contest #53: Troubles, Troubles, Troubles

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Kirk: Sulu's paying you $200 each?
 
ToddPence, I'm glad to post these for you. If you wanted to make it easier, next time wrap the urls for the pictures with image tags -
- and I could just quote your post, not having to change anything.

ToddPence said:
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Hey! Someone's using my name as a handle for Trek BBS!

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Is your wireless service causing you to have too many dropped calls?

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To get your tickets to the Phantom WHAT?
 
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KIRK (to Spock): I wish I could quit you!

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Can you hear me now?


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KIRK: Of course there's only one toilet on the whole ship, ensign. Hold it in, mister!
 
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To Captain Kirks dismay, Spock gets his 2 millionth MySpace friend, officially winning the bet.

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"Yep Jim she's still laying there...Yep...Yep around her ankles....I can't tell she is not laying on her stomach.


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KIRK: Who is this Floyd?...and who told him he could sell tickets on my ship?
 
Outpost4 said:
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McCoy: Yes...uh huh...no, it was easy...the exploding rock...uh huh...hahaha...gets him every time.


:guffaw: :guffaw: :guffaw: :guffaw: :guffaw:

That's friggin awesome!

:lol:

Notice how we've even lowered T'Bonz's bar now? It was pretty funny but still. :eek: :lol:
 
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Spock: Just a minute, Captain...that Trekker, you're so full of shit...funny,
Hermiod...ooohh, that would make a great caption...hold on, Jim...
blablover5, I can't believe you said that...Gertch, hehehe...relax, I'll
be off in less than five minutes, Jim...not mrcoaster again...
 
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Just prior to beam-up, McCoy always became noticeably aroused.


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Kirk: "So, I die falling off a cliff in a fire escape?"
Spock: "According to these records from the future, it would appear so."
Kirk: "Stupid future ..."


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McCoy, slurring: " ... well, then, they shouldn't have served beer down here! If you don't want the bark peeled off yer trees, don't gimme eight fuckin' beers!"

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Kirk, confused: "But Uhura's concert is in Rec Room Three."
Mr. Leslie: "This is the line to be put out an airlock instead."
 
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Waaaal, Jim... le's jus-- let's just say that y'all reeeeally don't
want to know what Spock is up to his pointy ears in, right now.
 
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Kirk : Will you please stop posting captions Spock, they'll figure out that it's you sooner or later, even if you aren't useing your real name.

Spock : Just a second, I think I have a great one for this week, there's a pic of you sitting at one end of the briefing room table and me at the other end on the computer.

Kirk : You mean NOW ?

Spock : Yes NOW.

Kirk : Let's not do THAT joke again, ever....

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McCoy : No, I can't hear you now, this is a recording * BEEP *

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Kirk : This the line for Tickets to see the new Star Trek movie.

Leslie : Yes it is.

Kirk : Can I cut in here.

Leslie : No you can't.

Kirk : But i'm the Captain.

Leslie : You snooze, you loose, back of the line.

Kirk grumbles as he walks to the end of the line.

- W -
* I think I won't try to post as many jokes for pictures as it's hard to come up with so much stuff after awhile *
 
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Shatner: "And what part are you auditioning for?"

Red Shirt: "Scotty."

Shatner: "Let me hear your accent."

Red Shirt: "Ach! Faith and Bigora!"

Shatner: "Shit, that's Irish, you moron!"


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Shatner: "How many of these morons do we have to go through?"

Nimoy: "Maybe if your standards weren't too high, we'd have already cast the new Kirk by now."

Shatner: "I can't help it. I'm perfect. That's where the bar is and that's what the new Kirk has to meet."

Nimoy (muttering): "This is the last fucking project I ever work with him on."

Shatner: "Pardon?"

Nimoy: "Nothing, nothing. I believe the next candidate is that guy from Boogie Nights."

Shatner: "Mark Wahlberg?"

Nimoy: "No, Phillip Seymour Hoffman."

Shatner: "Next!"
 
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McCoy: "Hey Jim, beep me again."
Kirk: "Are you going to spend all of your shore leave listening to your new ringtone?"

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Kirk: "Sperm donation? But, but..."
Redshirt: "The women? It's a common misconception. There aren't really as many women in Starfleet as people think."
Kirk: "But I slept with Yeoman Carey there."
Redshirt: "And did she say that she preferred anal?"
Kirk: "Yes... Oh my God!"

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Spock: "Yeoman Carey, Lt Piccolo, Yeoman Aster, Ensign Wilson, Ensign Ishikawa, Admiral Komack... Admiral Komack?"
Kirk: "Academy initiation, but the others?"
Spock: "All men."
Kirk: "Dear God!"
 
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Diamond Jim: "How many hours are we over our cell phone limit?"

Carl Spock: "Eight thousand hours and twenty-one minutes."

Diamond Jim: "Who the hell is making all these calls?"


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The Reverend Doctor McCoy: "Baby, in just a few more minutes, the Doctor will be in!"
 
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Kirk: "Lieutenant, you get the odd feeling that there's something unusual about the new crew members?"

Lt. Xenomorph: "Nope, can't say that I do."


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Kirk: I'd like to welcome all of you aboard the starship Enterprise. Here's hoping you'll enjoy a long death...I mean career. Career."
 
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"McCoy to Enterprise...Uhura, is that you? ... No? Wha--? Galactic Alien Babes Hotline?"

(looks at communicator)

"Damn it! Picked up Jim's again. Stupid speed dial."
 
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