TOS Caption Contest #51: Briefing Coda

[Shatmandu]

Gertch said:

Outpost4 said:

Kirk always fell for the whoopie-cushion-on-the-command-chair gag.

Do you think Picard fell for Whoopies cushion as well?

How the TNG crew reacted to a Whoopie Cushion:

Picard negotiated with it.
Troi felt it's pain.
Worf stood back up, did a really bad Tae Kwon Do move, and tore it apart with his bare hands.
Data spent three days with Joe Piscopo on the holodeck, going through 1.5 million variations of fart jokes.
Geordie retooled it to actually emit a sulfer smell.
Riker fucked it.
Wesley wasn't heavy enough to activate it.
Beverly bored it to death.

Joe, brappppp

 

[Outpost4]

Roddenberry never believed in the need for a weekly guest villian.

 

[scottydog]

Eventually, the red-shirts discovered a way to stay alive on a planet's surface.

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

The triple threats of work, trying to make money selling my crap on EBay and thinking of captions are catching up with me.

Last night I dreamt NathanielM came to the office and tried to pay for something with Paypal and I spent a considerable time trying to explain it was unacceptable. Then I was woken for sex (not by NathanielM or any other poster, in real life you understand.)

 

[Outpost4]

Cut out work. You'll sleep better.

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Kirk; So NathanielM came around with his Paypal account and I was like, no way dude.
McCoy; Haw haw, what did you do then man.
Kirk; Dude, I woke up and it was straight into a shag.
Scotty; Haw haw, oh man that's great.

 

[Shatmandu]

The Enterprise crew enjoys an episode of "Full House."

Scotty: "'How wude!' That fookin' slays me!"

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Kirk: HA. HA. HA. We're friends. Sharing a laugh.

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Is this going to take long, because I've got a Raiders' game I've got to get to."

Scotty: "My kind o' meetin'."

 

[Woulfe]

Kirk : Hello !
McCoy : Hello !
Scotty : Hello !

All three together : HELLO !

Spock : Okay that's the last time I talk about the Vulcans worshiping Moe Howard.

 

[Woulfe]

Kirk : Did you forget to pay the cable bill again Spock ?

Spock : Uhmm....

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "This humanoid is causing the disturbance on the planet. If it is willing, I will mind meld with it."
McCoy: "If it's ill, I'll diagnose the problem."
Kirk: "If it's a sentient computer, I'll talk it into commiting suicide."
Scotty: "If it's horny, I bugger the shite out of it."

Blond Extra: "Gene and I are dating. He says I'm going to be a big star, and that he'll marry me."

 

[Woulfe]

Kirk : And he had the NERVE to call this a Valentine to the fans ?

Everyone : hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "She related to me that you had ordered it."
McCoy: "Spock, there is no medical procedure that entails my nurse sitting on your face."

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"For your consideration. The crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise. This merry band of travelers of the cosmos is unaware of the vastness of both space and time. Although they may share a laugh now, their careers and waistlines will not be laughing after they trek into the stars of Priceline.com and direct to DVD features that are available for your viewing pleasure and purchasing only in the video stores and Wal-Marts of... the Twilight Zone."

 

[Woulfe]

- OR -

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tail of a fateful trip that started in this starbase aboard this star ship.

The first mate was a Vulcan, The capatin brave and determand, as they set off on a Five Year Mission, a Five Year Mission.

The weather started getting rough, the star ship was tossed if it wasn't for her fearless crew The Enterprise would be lost, The Enterprse would be lost.

The was set in orbit of this uncharted desert planet with
Captain Kirk, Mister Spock, Doctor Mcoy, Sulu, Checkov, Scotty, Uhra, Christine, Some Red Shirts and the rest,
Here on Staaaaar Treeeeek.

- W -
* Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh *

 

[cooleddie74]

"Early 21st century cultural records indicate this human male once suffered from a condition known in that era as 'linguini dick.'

...and so the unaired, unspoken-of final episode "Death by Whoopee Cushion" began.

 

[Classic Fan]

Kirk: "Chekovs been fucking around with the visual sensor settings again."

Gene tells the cast during a shooting break that a fan of the show has come to the studio to meet them.

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Note to self.

Stop all uploads and showings of subspace gay porn."

 

[Woulfe]

Kirk : Oh no not THIS joke again !

Spock : Well, folks like this joke.

McCoy : Do we HAVE to do it ?

Scotty : Aye, we do.

Kirk : Okay, Fine, When does this happen in the show ?

Spock : Now, what you're seeing is now.

[ and so on ]

- W -
* Smirks *