TOS Caption Contest #44: Miri Me

Kirk: "I swear that wasn't me giving you the tongue. It was the Platonians!"

Uhura: "And that thing I felt on my toga?"

Kirk: "Well, that was all Jimmy, baby."

 

12:30 pm. Lunch Break. Bridge. Deck one:

Kirk: 'As your ordering take-out, Uhura, ill have one double tribble cheese burger, a Sulu organic shake and you on the side'
Uhura: 'Ok, sir, would you also like this stylus shoved up your anus, just like i did McCoy when i took his order too?'

Two shipboard hours earlier. Sickbay:
McCoy: ''OK.... OK..... Ill have fries, FRIES!!!!'

 

Klingon torture of the 23rd Century consisted of repeated viewings of the prime time lineup on the Disney Channel. Most people break around the eighth episode of "Hannah Montana."

 

"Tell 'em NO anchovies. And make it a deep-dish crust. Remind 'em we have a coupon for free cheesy bread, too."



TROJANS.

Because you don't want to end up like this poor schmuck.

 

Heres a recurring classic we havnt seen here for a while....


Where will you be when your diarrhea comes back..?

 

"Our long-distance subspace service?

Tell 'em it SUCKS...and to go screw themselves. We're trying to work here."



STDs.

They're no laughing matter...even to a Vulcan.

 

Uhura always hated a Friday shift after the captain came back from his three martini lunch.

 

Nancy Crater: Leonard, this is not what I meant by a table dance.

 

KIRK:"Send the following to Admiral Fitzpatrick back on Earth...

EAT ME. DEEP AND HARD, ASSMONKEY."

 

No one's going to tell you you need CLEARASIL.

 

When the blemishes began to cover the landing party's anuses, the research for a cure took on a frantic pace.

 

Dr. McCoy hated being on the receiving end during the 1701 annual crew prostate exams. Nurse Chapel on the other hand...

 

Captain Kirk (To Uhura): "Tell Bones that I don't care what it takes, but the rabbit MUST LIVE!"

 

My quarters, twenty one hundred hours....and bring the pet tribble.

 

Becoming a starship physician and traveling through space discovering unique life forms.....priceless

Getting freaky with the Horta when no one was looking and suffering the consequences later on......painful

 

Kirk: "Inform Lt. Riley that tonight, I'll be taking Kathleen home again. And again and again."

 

Kirk: Lieutenant, I don't want to be disturbed again until after the movie is over, got it?

 

He couldn't even do a single one-armed pushup on the table. We now know why McCoy never took off his shirt.

 

This is your face.


This is your face on cordrazine.


Any questions?

 

Kirk: "'Ruth?' The robot from last month or the real woman?"