Contest: ENTER TOS Caption Contest #310: Communications Specialist

[Steven P Bastien]

Uhura: Mr Spock, can you show me again? I suck at this. I can't even get the neck pinch thingy to work on a tribble.

 

[Steven P Bastien]

McCoy: Still not getting it, Uhura. The Vulcan salute needs a little less arm motion. And, remember - V-shape with the fingers!

 

[Qonundrum]

"Are there no other channels available?"

(...with apologies to both "Star Trek" and "The Critic"...)

 

[Mr Soak]

Uhura: Can you believe that in some reality we're just characters in a TV show and six movies
Spock: For some of us it's eight movies.
Kirk: (grumble )

Kirk: (pouty) I only got seven.

 

[Tenacity]

Uhura: Opening hailing frequencies all days sucks.
Spock: So why don't you resign?
Uhura: I was going to, but Martin Luther King stopped by and told me to hang in there.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kirk: "Kirk to the Bridge -- I lost track. Who's the big fat guy with the gun and why does he have a gun?"

 

[Tenacity]

Uhura: "I'm not wearing underwear."

 

[Qonundrum]

Overrun by an invasion of fuzzy hackysacks(tm), Lt Uhura - like the rest of the crew - struggles with the fact they are not edible.

 

[CuriousCaitian]

Kirk: I...can't shake the feeling I...mighthaveleftthelightson...

Uhura: Full-beam, Sir.

Uhura regretted volunteering for Tribble grooming duty. Somehow there were always more needing a trim...

 

[Nerys Myk]

UHURA: I think that Chekov kid might have accidentally launched the photon torpedoes again.
KIRK: Shi....

 

[TrickyDickie]

Tharn: "The Romulans gave me this thing, but I don't know what to do with it. It's like some strange union of a golf club and a pool cue, but shorter than both!"

Kirk: "Haven't you heard to 'beware Romulans bearing gifts'?"

Uhura: "Uh....speaking of the Romulans...."

 

[TrickyDickie]

Dr David Banner: "My apologies....I thought the people on this planet were the 'Hulkans'."

Kirk: "Are you from Orion?"

Uhura: "You can bet that the next thing he's gonna ask is if you have a sister."

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Uhura: "Mr. Chekov, how you've grown! The last time I saw you, you only came up to here."
Chekov: "That was yesterday."

 

[Triskelion]

Tharn: I thought you promised us a fan dance.
Kirk: Ah, here's Chekov now.
Chekov: Take off your shirt, Chekov. Roll over, Chekov. Breathe deeply, Chekov. Skin sample, Chekov....

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Uhura: "Stop that now go back and sit down!"
Kirk: "Computer, search the language banks for any references to "Vitameatavegamin"."

 

[Triskelion]

Kirk: O'Hura, contact Starfl-
Uhura: It's Uhura, sir. With a U.
Kirk: You're...not Irish?
Uhura: No sir.
Kirk: And all the rounds of Guiness I bought you?
Uhura: A girl's gotta have something to post on Spacebook.
Kirk: ............Carry on.

 

[Qonundrum]

"Professor Gill, John, my dear friend, I recognize your importance to the Federation here on Ekos, but I don't understand what you mean by 'rub you the right way'?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Spock, a word about your screen saver.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kirk: "Then a dragon flew across the screen. Now it's running a commercial and saying something about 'Electrical superstorms'. What do I do?"

Uhura: "Sir, it's a problem with the UGO system. Not much I can do. Try clicking somewhere on the screen to see if the ad goes away."

Kir: "Fuck."

Uhura: "Now what?"

Kir: "This giant fucking Orange Crush soda ad came tumbling downward and is covering like 75% of the screen. Fuck me!"

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Kirk: "And I thought I had a lousy file photo."
Spock (offscreen): "Captain, this is a live communication."
Kirk: "..."
Uhura: "You can apologize to me later, sir."