Contest: ENTER TOS Caption Contest #302: Obsessive Captioning

Kirk: Lieutenant Uhura, make a shipwide announcement: there will be no shore leave until I find the person who spiked my Saurian brandy with wasabi.
Uhura: I've already narrowed down the list to those officers who were on the bridge all shift, sir.
Scott: Well, I just got here.
Helmsman: I just remembered I'm due in sickbay for a physical, sir!
Navigator: Me, too! Mustn't keep the doctor waiting, sir!
McCoy (on the comm): No, you're not!

 

Uhura: You wanna do what to my chair, Captain?
JB

 

New contest!