TOS Caption Contest #298: The Caption in the Dark

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! New Contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "On Air Antics" Award, going to:

Anan 7: "Who is this 'Baba Booie' you keep shouting about?"

Next, we have the "Well, that was inevitable" Award, going to:

Sulu: Pavel, the Captain's merely picking up our dry cleaning. I don't think he will get his shirt ripped off...oh, there it goes.

Next, we have "The Cover-up" Award, going to:

Redshirt: "I'm just hiding the fact that it says 'Starship Class.'"

Kirk: "Oh...well then, carry on."

Next, we have the "Clever Hiding Places" Award, going to:

Spock: We're going on a dangerous away mission. A red shirt was supposed to be joining us.
Scotty: Ah, that explains it then.

Next, we have the "Request DENIED" Award, going to:

Kirk: Helloooo! ....*snap*,*snap*.... I said, "Is anybody interested in a threesome?"

Quick stop him! He's starting to sing!

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, lets spend some time on Janus 6...

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Spock: It was unnecessary for you to phaser the door, Captain. I have a key.

Kirk: Whoops.

Kirk: Now, Mister Spock. Would you care to explain why in the 23rd Century we are STILL using Styrofoam cups?

Kirk: Kirk to McCoy, would you care to explain why Mister Scott is using ships equipment to make a still?

Giotto: No, I don't see a purple zebra down there. Why did you-

Kirk: Bones! Stop sculpting and get back to saving the Horta!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Giotto (through communicator): "Mr. Vanderberg and his men are here, and they're pretty ugly."
Vanderberg (through communicator, whining): "Well, that was uncalled for!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: They have some pretty big mice on this planet.

MCCOY: You should see their droppings!

KIRK: Okay, its pretty clear by the chart, the ratings declined started with DS9 and continued with Voyager and Enterprise. So stop fighting about it!

 

[Maurice]

KIRK: Holey metal door!
SPOCK: Incorrect Bat Time, incorrect Bat Channel, Jim.

BONES: Scotty says he replaced our regular dilithium crystals with new Folgers Crystals. Wonder if we can taste the difference?
KIRK: Smells like haggis...

KIRK: I'm afraid it's worse than we thought, Vanderberg. Whatever this monster is, it's been tapping your premium channels!

MINERS: Bonk bonk! On the head!

BONES: "Fix" the Horta? Oh, I thought you said "fist"! My bad...

 

[Smellincoffee]

McCoy: D'you mind, Jim? I'm right in the middle of a delivery, here.

Kirk: We're not going back onto the bridge until you two kiss and make up. I've got a full pot of coffee here. We can stand here all day if you want.
Spock: Must it involve kissing?

Spock: I advise caution, captain.
Kirk: James T. Kirk doesn't shy away the unknown, Mr. Spock.
Spock: This is why you frequent Dr. McCoy's stock of prophylactics, then.
McCoy: Better call a doc, Jim, because you just got BURNED!

Kirk: Now, Mister Spock. Would you care to explain why in the 21st Century we are STILL using Styrofoam cups?

Spock: We are merely reusing those manufactured in the 20th century. There are upsides to their never deteriorating.

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Now, Mister Spock. Would you care to explain why in the 21st Century we are STILL using Styrofoam cups?

Spock: We are merely reusing those manufactured in the 20th century. There are upsides to their never deteriorating.

I meant the 23rd Century. #LeadHeadFAIL

 

[Hutchy01]

McCoy: This ain't your normal kind of space STD!

 

[tharpdevenport]

McCoy: "Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior?"

EPIC FAILURE: The moment when you realize your trained security personnel not only stood within arm's length of the hostile large mob, but also all turned their heads away at the same time.

Kirk: "What about now?"

Spock (over the comm): "Still not recieving free cable, captain."

Kirk: "Damnit! HBO Orian Spacegirls After Midnight is almost starting."

 

[hux]

Kirk: This is where the Terminator arrived

Spock: Agreed

Spock: If McCoy gets tea, I want tea.

Kirk: Fine... Gee, you two are such babies.

Kirk: Kirk to all hands. Please stop flushing mashed up Dundee cake down the toilets. This isn't funny anymore.

(Outside cave) Spock: Captain, I've discovered a worrying correlation between being a red shirt and being killed.

Giotto: What the fuck did he say?!

McCoy: I can't find the baby.

Kirk: Try the other hole and remind me to get you an updated version of anatomy for dummies.

 

[Hutchy01]

Spock: It is most unusual for you to see a hole and not try to enter it!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "'Caution'? Caution of what? That diabolical beast! It's obscured the key word!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: I've finished Spock's prostate exam, but now I can't find my damned pinky ring.

 

[Avro Arrow]

Kirk: So wait a minute, this door is supposed to shield us from radiation, but now it's got a huge hole in it... which we're standing right in front of...
McCoy: Why do you think I'm way over here? I hope neither of you wanted children.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

McCoy: "Where's Scotty?! I've got a 'here's mud in your eye' joke to spring on him!"
Kirk (OS): "I wouldn't advise that, Bones."

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: What do you mean. "Who's it's supposed to be?"

 

[Hutchy01]

Kirk: So wait a minute, this door is supposed to shield us from radiation, but now it's got a huge hole in it... which we're standing right in front of...
McCoy: Why do you think I'm way over here? I hope neither of you wanted children.

Kirk: You know better than anyone how many kids I have!

 

[Triskelion]

TFTW Leadhead!

Kirk: Well you and Bones follow the wood chip trail. I'm going to run a few laps on the wheel first.
Spock: And...?
Kirk: Ok, maybe climb the ladder and ring the bell a few times.

Bones: You see Spock? I told you he'd notice the correlation between adding crew and losing screen time.
Kirk: Think nothing of it, Bones. Now, if you'd be so kind as to distribute this free tea to the senior staff....and please assure them it is completely non-toxic.

Kirk: Kirk to Enterprise. Code buttcrack. That is all.

Captain's log, supplemental: Wow, you really don't want to be the last ones picked in a deep mine pickup softball game.

Uhura: That reminds me, I need to schedule a gyno exam.


http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "Better get your coffee now, Spock. I doubt Vanderberg will be offering us any more after I shut down his mining operations."

 

[T'Girl]

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