TOS Caption Contest #291: The Caption with Tribbles

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! It's a new contest and in less than 2 months! #AchivementUnlocked

First up to the plate, we have the "In Demand" Award, going to:

Spock: Captain, I am honored to serve as your first officer. Now may I ask what we are watching on this screen?

Kirk: A picture of all the other XO's Starfleet offered to send me.

Next, we have the "Communications OF THE FUTURE!" Award, going to:

SPOCK: A Harry Mudd calling from the Sing Sing Rehabilitation Planet. Will you accept the charges?

Next, we have the "Transporter Oddities" Award, going to:

Kirk: "Back into the beam, Gary. You're not leaving your head behind to chat up girls again."

Next, we have the "Moments of Joy" Award with a Special Welcome back to Rat Boy, it's very good to see someone who ran so many Caption contests so well for so long, be back on the TrekBBS!

The fleeting millisecond where Gary Lockwood thought he had a shot at starring in SyFy's adaptation of 3001.

Next, we have the "Interspecies Relations" Award, going to:

It was at this point Kirk regretted getting intimate with the Gorn.

Fantastic Photoshops in this competition! Couldn't choose just one, so there are two winners!

Kirk: Damn, I hate astroblocking!

And...

KIRK: "Carol! How great to hear from you"
CAROL: "Hi Jim ... um ... we need to talk"
KIRK: "Of course Carol, what is it?"
CAROL: "Remember last month when I told you I thought I was late?"
KIRK: "Of course I remember, but don't be too hard on yourself Carol, you never could get anywhere on time."
CAROL: "That's not what I mean!"
SPOCK (Thinking): for the love of Surak, here comes another "I'm pregnant Jim" message

And with sooooooo many great captions, the Tribbles couldn't just choose one, so they chose two!

Dehner: "What in the name of hell did I just step in?"

And...

Kirk: The Federation is blockading the Naboo? How big is their Starfleet?

Many thanks to everyone who participated and many congratulations to our winners!

And now, lets head into one of Trek's silliest and most celebrated episodes!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Spock: Impressive, it appears to be 99% pure.

Chekov: You just fired the photon torpedoes, Sir.

Kirk: Did I hit anything?

Uhura: Message from Starbase, you're being placed under arrest.

Tribble: Just keep saying everything was invented in Russia, wait a few years and you'll be the First Officer of the U.S.S. Reliant.

Kirk: What's so funny, Scotty?

Scotty: Flatscreen technology has been around for centuries, but we still use these rear projection screens!

Kirk: Stop! No one makes fun of Mister Spock but me! And maybe Doctor McCoy, but no one else!

 

[Nerys Myk]

CHEKOV: I can do it my self sir. I'm a grown up!

SHATNER: What's so funny Jimmy?

DOOHAN: I wonder why we bother. It's not like people are going to care about what this barely legible graphic says anyway.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "My most cherished possession, Mr. Spock. Carol Marcus's ashes."
Spock: "I was not aware Dr. Marcus had died."
Kirk: "Her cigarette ashes."
Spock: "You are a true romantic, Captain."

Scotty: "Blueprints and specifications for the Alice series android! My woman troubles are over!"

 

[Noname Given]

[

James T. Kirk: "Starship porn again, Mr. Scott?

Mr. Scott: "Aye!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "What are they?"

Spock: "Antacids to help you get through the episode."

Kirk: "Huh?"

Spock: "You'll thank me later."

Nothing worse when the driving instructor has to reach over and show one how to do it properly.

Tribble: "Got any matches?"

The look of man who's about to open Photoshop and go to town.

Kirk: "Wait. Stop. You're under arrest."

Spock: "You seem...less than enthusiastic, Captain."

Kirk: "What'd you expect? It's Monday."

 

[BoredShipCapt'n]

TFTW, LeadHead!

Kirk: "Scotty, are you watching...?"
Scott: "Aye, you caught me, sir. I'm a Brony."

Kirk: "Mr. Chekov, did you eat the last red gumdrop?"
Chekov: "Errrr... try counting them again, sir."

Chekov: "It farted."

Kirk: "Sand?..."
Spock: "You said you had no beach to walk on. Happy birthday, Jim."

Kirk: "See that girl? Within 20 minutes I'll have her in the sack."
Cyrano: "How can you be so sure?"
Kirk: "Only 30 minutes left in the episode."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kirk: "Wait, I rubbed it like the instructions said, but nothing is coming out."

 

[f14peter]

The crew loved Nyota's little magic acts, especially the "pulled a tribble out of your ear" trick.

KIRK: "Look Chekov, you can put the red-seven on the black-eight."
CHEKOV (THINKING): "I hate vhen he interveres with my solitaire game"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "Mr. Chekov, stop playing 'pocket pool' and pay attention to your navigation board!"
Chekov: "Did you have to say that so loudly, sir?"

 

[Maurice]

Thanks for the win!

SPOCK: Fascinating. Pure N-methyl-1-phenylpropan-2-amine.
KIRK: What? What?
SPOCK: Um... "wheat".

KIRK: And turn off the damned Monkeys songs, Ensign!

UHURA: Your ear hair is really out of control, Pavel.
CHEKOV: Did you say something?

KIRK: Catching up on your technical journals, Scotty?
SCOTT: Er, aye. That's it.

KIRK: I knew you Klingon bastards were evil, but this...!
SPOCK: They do have the placard, sir.
KIRK: And... it's expired!



P.S. The layered .PSD file of the Scotty and viewer is here (link) if anyone wants to use it.

 

[Valin]

Chekov: But Keptin, I really need to use the restroom.

Kirk: Chekov, you should have thought of that before we left earth; you know that starships don't have bathrooms.

 

[Rat Boy]

That time one gets caught viewing porn at work.

Scotty: "My picture just got a 1,000 likes on Instagram."

Kirk: "What's it a picture of?"

Scotty: "Your head photoshopped onto the body of a Chippendale model!"

 

[Armored Saint]

KIRK: Computer, list me all Russian inventions.

KIRK: Computer, tell me which bridge officer should I make disappear to get a new hairpiece.

KIRK: Trelane!
KOLOTH (os): Pardon me, sir.

KIRK: At first I was afraid I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side
SPOCK: Fascinating, this disco ball behind us was indeed operative.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Everybody dance now!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "Is that...is that that fop Koloth with his arm around Yeoman Rand?"
Jones: "You snooze, you lose, Kirk."

 

[Smellincoffee]

Thanks for the win!

Chekov: It is ticking. You know, cuddly bombs were invented in Chechnya.

Jim Kirk Wants YOU!
for Starfleet
ENLIST TODAY

Spock: Really, captain? On duty?

 

[Armored Saint]

KIRK: KIRK: No, you're not. There's something I want to show you. You know what the penalty is for writing shitty senseless episode?
JONES: Captain, one little Mark of Gideon isn't harmful. Captain, you wouldn't do a thing like that to me, now would you? Would you?
SPOCK: The penalty is twenty years in a rehabilitation colony.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Next time on STAR TREK UNDERCOVER, Diamond Jim and Carl battle a drug cartel in
"Warp Corridors of Poison!"

 

[Triskelion]

Scotty: Floppy disk drives, chessboards with levels, pointy sideburns - it really makes you think, donnit sir?
Kirk: That the 23rd century is a pretty neato place?
Scotty: Nae, it's a pain in the erse! Ma heid's birlin wi aw this boggin fartin aboot!

Kirk: Release docking clamps, then thrusters.
Chekov: Whoopsie!
Uhura: Somebody slap that mothafu-.

Tribble: I thought she was smuggling one of us down there.

Spock: No sir, I don't think a tiny Gorn cannon will help with the tribble trouble.
Kirk: But I haven't even torn my shirt yet!

Kirk: Stormstrider, return!
Spock: Bad day to wear a beehive, Yeoman Rand.
Rand: FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY WHO BROUGHT A FALCON ON BOARD?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!??!