Kirk: Oh, I'm sorry, are we on red alert? I'm afraid I can't hear the klaxon over the sound of how awesome I am.
TOS Caption Contest #286: Amok Caption
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Kirk: Oh, I'm sorry, are we on red alert? I'm afraid I can't hear the klaxon over the sound of how awesome I am.
All these photoshops are unintentionally hilarious because the added characters are too small.
CHAPEL: A message for Maurice?
SPOCK: Nah, I'm just a The Godfather's huge fan.
"*sigh* Let me guess, Spock, it's Pon Farr time?"
At that moment Kirk realised he was no longer carrying his two rolls of carpet
Chapel: "The interior decorator is here."
Spock: "Can he come back later?"
Chapel (looks around room): "No."
Uhura: Ooooh! Somebody's in troouuuble!
Spock: ...And if I die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take...
Kirk: Really, Spock? Bedtime prayers?
Chapel: This isn't stalking. I'm here for perfectly valid medical reasons. [strokes Spock's leg] Okay, now it's stalking.
Kirk: I'm cuter than Stonn, right?
Kirk: It's the ears, chicks dig the rounded ears.
SPOCK: "... And that's what the new uniforms are going to look like?"
KIRK: "This might just be for Top Brass, Spock. I know this is the one I'll be wearing, in any case."
SPOCK: "It looks - I believe the Earth word is - 'spiffy.' Congratulations by the way, on your upcoming promotion, 'Admiral' Kirk."
KIRK: "Thanks, Mister Spock. The ENTERPRISE is going to be scheduled for a major refit, as well. Once my promotion comes through, she'll be yours to command. Your 5 Year Mission's going to be one for the books. I almost envy you, Spock ..."
SPOCK: "Actually, Jim I was planning on returning to Vulcan, to engage in a discipline to shed all emotion - leaving me in a state of pure ... logic."
KIRK: "I seeeeeeee ..."
CHAPEL: Can I do anything for you?
BOTH: Yes, GETTING OUT!
James T. Kirk: "She told me she was over 18 in standard Earth years, I SWEAR!"
Android farts: the gift that keeps on giving.
Spock: In my honest opinion, Captain Kirk is the most selfish, egotistical, arrogant, SOB in the entire universe...and he's standing right behind me, isn't he?
Kirk: Listen, Spock, I know you think it's a big deal but it really isn't. It happens to most men...well, maybe not most...
Nurse Chapel: It doesn't happen to most men and it is a big deal!
Kirk: No, Bones, I'm not going to need the blue pill on this mission.
On second thought, Bones...better give me the blue pill.
T'Pring: "Him! He is the one who betrayed Colonel Hogan!"
Kirk: "Alternate universe? Crossover? Somebody help me out here."
SPOCK: There's now only two logical options Nurse: you join us in a threesome or we kill you. I must say the are both appealing.
SPOCK: Forget the T'Pthing, it is meaningless. Stonn is a girl.
Charvanek: And just a reminder to you viewers at home: $5 per minute and you get to see the rest of this scene.
KIRK: Seriously Bones, I don't buy it. Those guys can't be smarter than us.
BONES: They're not Jim, Spock is even "special" for a Vulcan.
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