SCOTT:...and I programmed her to not being seduced by any captains or gods.
KIRK: Didn't you forget I'm the best at screwing androids?
TOS Caption Contest #282: Love Connection
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SCOTT:...and I programmed her to not being seduced by any captains or gods.
KIRK: Didn't you forget I'm the best at screwing androids?
LENORE: Dress? What dress?
SCOTTY: Ah don't believe it! She's making the pressure chamber act like a cryotube!
MIRA: Nice way to call me "frigid", "Limpy".
SPOCK: I love you. I could never admit it before!
KIRK: (over communicator) Spock! And I...loveyoutoo!
LANDON: The sky...it's like I could reach out and touch it.
CHEKOV: Turn around and valk 30 feet, and you vill!
NATRIA: Touch my bustier again and I'll bustier more than your nose!
LEILA: SPOCK! KISS MY HOT LIPS!
EVERYBODY ON THE BRIDGE: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Natira: Sorry, Doctor, size does matter.
McCoy: Size matters - but scale is relative. Like dropping a hyperspanner down a Jefferies tube.
Thanks for the win!
Lenore: "Why Captain, it's nice of you to say. I get all of my furs at H. Mudd and Associates. Incidentally, where did you get your toupee, it looks so natural?"
Kirk: "H. Mudd and Associates..."
Scott: "I invented it myself sair, a microwave for frigid women."
Kirk: "Officer thinking, Mr Scott."
Kirk over communicator: "Mr Spock. Mr Spock! Are you okay down there. Do you need help?"
Spock: "Not likely, Captain. The two of us are gonna have a threesome if you know what I mean."
Leila: "Ooh, I love Vulcans!"
Chekov: "How about a little roleplay?"
Landon: "Sure, I'll be any woman in the universe... and you be Geordi LaForge."
Chekov: "Aw crap!"
Natira: "You know, for a Doctor specialising in xenobiology, I didn't expect you to be that shocked at the revelation that Yonadan women have the penises in the species."
Lenore: "Why Captain, it's nice of you to say. I get all of my furs at H. Mudd and Associates. Incidentally, where did you get your toupee, it looks so natural?"
Kirk: "H. Mudd and Associates..."
Scott: "I invented it myself sair, a microwave for frigid women."
Kirk: "Officer thinking, Mr Scott."
Kirk over communicator: "Mr Spock. Mr Spock! Are you okay down there. Do you need help?"
Spock: "Not likely, Captain. The two of us are gonna have a threesome if you know what I mean."
Leila: "Ooh, I love Vulcans!"
Chekov: "How about a little roleplay?"
Landon: "Sure, I'll be any woman in the universe... and you be Geordi LaForge."
Chekov: "Aw crap!"
Natira: "You know, for a Doctor specialising in xenobiology, I didn't expect you to be that shocked at the revelation that Yonadan women have the penises in the species."
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More bikini wax, Mister Scott.
I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain! She cannae take any more!
Chekov: Be careful vith that phaser.
Landon: I have the right to bear arms.
Chekov: In Soviet Russia, the bear has right to your arms!
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Kirk: "Heh! That would be funny as hell! But...no...no, we'd better not."
Crewman by turbolift (thinking): "I so want to be a captain someday!"
RODDENBERRY (OS): In fact, the extra was wearing a skant, but Shatner's belly totally obstructed the view.
Kirk: "You have the best legs on the ship."
Crewman (softly): "Bitch."
Crewman: "It's a dress damn you, a pretty dress!!!"RODDENBERRY (OS): In fact, the extra was wearing a skant, but Shatner's belly totally obstructed the view.
Kirk: "You have the best legs on the ship."
Crewman (softly): "Bitch."
(bursts into tears, runs off bridge)
ALIEN: Greetings, Captain of the Enterprise. I am Krath, the King of my world.
KIRK: Wait, wait. King?
ALIEN: And if I must say, you are a very beautiful woman. Your eyes are like the stars.
SCOTTY: I, umm...signed for your delivery, captain. One hyper-realistic female doll.
KIRK: One word of this to the rest of the crew and I'll replace you with a British comedy actor.
SPOCK: Judging by the concentration of pheremones you are currently releasing, the logical course of action would be to get it on.
CHEKOV: I brought wodka.
OLD KIRK: NO JIM! STOP THAT AND SEND HER RIGHT NOW TO THE BRIG, OTHERWISE A JEALOUS JANICE RAND WILL ASK FOR A TRANSFER!
Landon: Dandle in the bramble?
Chekov: Russian inwention.
Landon: Fondle in the fern?
Chekov: Russian inwention.
Landon: Twiddle in the dingle?
Chekov: Russian inw - no, that vun vas Wulcan. Sickos.
Landon: Prickle in the thistle?
Chekov: Russian inwention....
Spock: Now that I've finally dumped T'Pring, we can be together!
*beep beep*
Leila: I have to take this.
Male Voice: Honey, I have to stay late. Can you pick up the kids at karate?
Leila: Did you ever stop the planetkiller?
Spock: No, Miley Cyrus's sexual innuendo eventually grew to eat suns, too.
Leila: Check out her new outfit.
Spock: It would appear that light can still escape the event horizon in her pants.
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