TOS Caption Contest # 265.. "Primitive Screw-heads!"

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Sulu, I'm sorry. You should have just let me drive.

Where will you be when your diarrhea comes back?

Kirk: We come in peace!

Chekov: Until we blast you to pieces.

Kirk: Sorry, I thought they'd just make us wash dishes. How was I supposed to know the restaurant food supply comes from people who get caught doing the dine-n-dash?

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Dammit Chekov, stop playing Justin Bieber music on your tricorder, it's scaring the primitive and it's a violation of the Prime Directive!

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "Are you SURE the only thing that will revive him is a kiss from the handsome hero?"

 

[Isis]

Chekov: "That voman said ve are not Morg, ve are not Eymorg. Then vhat are ve?"

Morg: "Where have you been for the last couple decades? On another planet or something? That lady was trying to be polite, but you two are obviously Metrosexual-Morgs."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Morg: "We are the Morg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile. From now on, you will adapt to service us. Your tonsorial and follicle hirsuteness will be added to our own..."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Morg: "Your sleeves! They go all the way down to your wrists! Eureka! I've been so cold! For so long! For no reason!"

 

[Jackson_Roykirk]

Yeoman:
"Why did he faint when he saw me, Captain?"

Kirk:
"Well, this is a 1960s TV show, and he must have assumed that being the only male Asian character, he is destined to have a romantic relationship with the only female Asian character...
...It's like that one episode of Hogan's Heroes when the pretty black woman showed up in camp. Being a 60s TV show, you knew she was only there to serve as a romantic interest for Sergeant Kinchloe."

Yeoman:
"Huh?"

 

[Isis]

Spock: "Next time will you finally listen to me and do the room reservations with someone other than priceline.com?"

 

[BoredShipCapt'n]

Morg: "Your sleeves! They go all the way down to your wrists! Eureka! I've been so cold! For so long! For no reason!"

George: "Should I even tell him about coats?"

(Well, the boots are similar.)

 

[UFO]

Chekov: But look, its almost identical.

Kirk: For the last time: Starfleet are not going to sue Apple for intellectual property right infringement.

Chekov: Hmmmmm, well maybe Apple will sue Starfleet?

Kirk: Shhh, don't say that too loud!!

 

[T'Girl]

KIRK: Dammit woman, what did you say to him?

YEOMAN: I said he was cute and asked him out.

KIRK: Don't you understand? Sulu only dates people with a large penis!!!

YEOMAN: But I have a large penis.

SULU (mumbling) Oh my.

KIRK: And what about the women?

GEICO CAVEMAN: Yes women, the givers of herpes and chlamydia.

 

[NAHTMMM]

"I saw her first!"

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "Isn't it a small world? Absolutely, sir...I've been nothing but a gentleman around your daughter here."

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "I can't imagine why this happened."

Crewperson: "Why is that, Sir?"

Kirk: "Personally, I thought...this...was...one of the most... rousing...of...my soliloquys."

 

[NAHTMMM]

Wow, there really are Hugger Brothers everywhere.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kirk: We're from Starfleet. It's so easy, a caveman could do it!

Morg: WHAT?

Chekov: I'm sorry, we didn't know...

Morg: NOT. COOL.