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TOS Caption Contest #251 This is Awkward!

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KOR: You disapprove, Baroner?

KIRK: You need my approval?

KOR: I need your OBEDIENCE.

And a wet nap. Seriously, any of you fools got one? I just let one rip and it felt REAL busy.
 
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SHATNER: Sheesh, the women have more on than us, Len! You'd think Bill Thiess was gay.
NIMOY: Um, Bill, he is.
SHATNER: Oops. Insert foot A in mouth B.
NICHOLS: ...again.
 
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Kirk: I can't go while you're looking at me.

Kor: Weakling! A real warrior does not suffer from pee-shyness.

[forceful urination sound that switches from hitting a liquid to hitting a solid]

Kirk: Uh... You're whizzing on my shoe.

Kor: A real warrior does not worry about his aim either!


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Girl, off her rocker: I like mittens!


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Kor: You've got a pretty mouth.
 
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Kor: I KNOW you stared at my butt when we walked in,Kirk!
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Spock: I KNOW you stared at my behind when we walked in, captain

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Kirk: I know you stared at my ass..
Girl: LOL!That's what you think ..
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Spock: Don't stare at her bum, don't stare at her bu..
Uhura: Spock! Why aren't you staring at my bum?
 
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Chapel: *sigh*... Nobody ever makes jokes about me in these contests.

Spock: "Miss Chapel, your choice to ignore such banter does not mean it hasn't been made. Would you care for me to repeat the most perceptive of the remarks made?"

Chapel: "Thanks for your generous offer, Mr. Spock, but I think I'll pass."
 
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Kirk (to self): "Can't wait to leave this planet. Chicks like this are a complete waste of my awesomeness."
 
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I like your style, Baroner.

As well as your build. We should hang out. Do you like bath houses?



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KIRK: This Vaal obviously has a "thing" for hippies with tattoos. He must have been a college professor in a previous life.

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SPOCK: I'd make a tasteless comment right here, folks...but I'm a Vulcan.

We don't make tasteless jokes.
 
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CHAPEL: Great. The ONE time I get to see Mister Spock in a loose-fitting toga...

and is has to be now.
 
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Director (OS): "I thought we were shooting the Nazi episode this week. Are we shooting the Nazi episode this week? Because if we are...I don't think I'm avant-garde enough for this interpretation!"
 
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KIRK: When Parmen enters the hall, I want you ladies to distract him with some seductive dancing...Spock and I will do the rest.

CHAPEL: What kind of seductive dancing?

KIRK: The kind you do for Spock. It makes me want to vomit...but I'm betting the Platonians will have a different reaction! Everything depends on it!
 
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You will find we Klingons have a well-deserved reputation for ruthlessness.

And musical theater. The more flamboyant...the better.

Do you understand, Baroner?
 
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KIRK: When Parmen enters the hall, I want you ladies to distract him with some seductive dancing...Spock and I will do the rest.

CHAPEL: What kind of seductive dancing?

KIRK: The kind you do for Spock. It makes me want to vomit...but I'm betting the Platonians will have a different reaction! Everything depends on it!

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UHURA: Relax, Christine. I got this.
 
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Don't make me use my moustache and beard, Kirk.

They pull off quite easily.
 
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Girl: Wait a second, I know who you are! You're Chris Pine! That's it, I knew I knew you!

Shatner: Right, run along now.

Girl: I thought you were just excellent in...

Shatner: Piss off now or I'll strangle you with that hideous hemp brassiere!
 
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Kor: You know, you look a lot like Chris Pine. I just loved him in...

Kirk: Piss off right now or I'll strangle you with that disco shash!
 
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KOR: We Klingons do not discuss our lack of head ridges with outsiders.

I imagine you Earthmen are the same when it comes to your...what do you call them?

Ah, yes. Assless chaps.
 
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Director (os): Cut! Chris, could you cover up that nipple, not the look we're going for in this shot.

Shatner: What did you just call me? That's it, I'm outta here.

Nimoy (thinking to himself): I wonder what it is that's got Chris so tense. Maybe I'll follow him to his trailer and ask him.
 
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KIRK: Options, Spock?

SPOCK: Unfortunately, Captain, I cannot think of any.

KIRK: Great. Yeah, thanks a lot. That'll be a big help.

When Parmen gets into the hot tub with the young boys I'm volunteering you.
 
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On a return visit to the Amusement Park Planet:
Spock: "No Ruth this time, Captain?"
Kirk: "Variety is the spice of life, Mr. Spock. This is Carol Marcus...from her college days...Spring Break, 2253!"
 
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