TOS Caption Contest #245 Psycho-Chicks!

[Nerys Myk]

BRAXTON: Damn it, Janeway. Stop traveling to this time period and bothering Kirk!!!!!

JANEWAY: I'll never stop till he pays for what he did to Great Grandma Lester!!!

BRAXTON ( muttering): Apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

JANEWAY: What was that???!!!

BRAXTON: Eh, nothing.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Lenore: "Stay back, Captain! I know how to use this!"
Blueshirt in back: "Hey, that's the first line of Shakespeare I've ever understood!"

 

[Captain Crow]

Lethe: Time for go to bed!

 

[TMStepper]

Sylvia: -to herself- Dear God, that's got to be the most disgusting thing I've ever heard. I'll give him 'Fun in Zero-G...'

Adams: "Why spend billions in credits on a fancy chair? I cracked her across the forehead with a brick, and she's been like this ever since. Her eyes are a little out of focus, but other than that she's fine."

Worst casting of Richard III in history.

Romulan Commander: "Yes, Mister Spock, I CAN hear you now. And if you ask me one more time, my Sub-Commander is going to do bad things to you with that disruptor!"

Scotty: -to crewman- "Laddie, I'm glad yer thinkin' a new things ta do with th' transporter, but I dinnae think we're ready for a human-tree hybrid."

Crewman: -shrugs- "Are you saying that I shouldn't have pruned her?"

If I get out of this alive, Kirk thought to himself, I'm never ever going to forget what the safe word is again.....

 

[NathanielM]

Kirk whispers sweet nothings in Silva's ear.

Doctor Adams: She isn't human shes an android, see she doesn't even blink!

Lenore: KILL DA WABBIT! KILL DA WABBIT! KIIIEEL DA WABBIT! KILL DA WABBIT.

Spock: I do believe you will find some groovy sounds coming from my ipod!

Scotty: So what is with the hood ornaments on your hooters lassie.

Lester: Now repeat after me Captain, I like to wear dresses, and will wear a dress, I will walk with a limp wrist, and be a sissy mary for all to see!

Kirk: I... liiike... too.... AGGH!

 

[LeadHead]

BRAXTON: Damn it, Janeway. Stop traveling to this time period and bothering Kirk!!!!!

JANEWAY: I'll never stop till he pays for what he did to Great Grandma Lester!!!

Braxton: Look, I just stopped future Noah Lessing from getting you killed on the Caretakers array. You owe me one.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

T'Bonz: I STILL RUN THIS SHIT!!!

Redshirt: Mr. Scott, just how many Lady Gaga jokes can one Star Trek forum take?!?

Spock: As you can see, Subcommander Tal, my Bitch Detector has a foolproof record of service.

 

[MANT!]

Lester "Hm! He is made of harder stuff! Cardinal Fang! Fetch...THE COMFY CHAIR!
[JARRING CHORD]!!"

 

[NathanielM]

Kirk lets out a silent but deadly fart.

Kirk: <thinking> oh shit I shouldn't have ate those beans!

 

[NathanielM]

Lenora: You insensative bastard Kirk. How DARE you cheat on my ass with that green bitch.... Prepare to DIE!

Redshirt: Mr. Scott, just how many Lady Gaga jokes can one Star Trek forum take?!?

Scotty: You mean Madonna jokes laddie.

Spock clicks on the control on his communicator and activates the silent wireless vibrator deep inside the Commander's tight crevice.

 

[NathanielM]

Silvia: NO HICKIES Captain... NO Hickies!
Kirk: <whispering> Too late!

 

[Maurice]

SHATNER: You don't mind if...I eliminate...a few of your lines...do you? Thanks!

ADAMS: She was nutty enough to sleep with me despite the fact I have Denebian Crotch Crickets. Of course she's crazy...wait...she's right behind me, isn't she?

KARIDIAN: O, that this too too solid flesh would melt...
LENORE: I can help with that, father!
KARIDIAN: Put. Down. The Phaser. You. Fruitcake!

ROMULAN COMMANDER: A Zune? The Federation is barbaric! Take him away!

SCOTT: I must say that silver leaf goes well with your finials, lass!

LESTER: And now *I* shall be Captain Kirk!
KIRK: We just got cancelled.
LESTER: Well...shit.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Ladies and gentlemen, the fabulous Psycho Chicks!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Scotty: "I'm just tryin' to warn ye for yer own good, lassie! With this crew, yer lettin' yerself in for a lot of 'brass brassiere'-type jokes!"

Romulan Commander: "You didn't see what? You idiot! There's not a single necktie on board this entire ship! And our doors don't even have knobs! Now get out of here, frat boy, and don't disturb us again!"

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Captain Kirk's old girlfriends all find the worst possible time to show up.

Romulan Commander: I used to be a scientist like you once, Spock. Then I took an arrow in the knee.

 

[A.V.I.A.F.]

Kirk: You mean the panties your mother laid out for you?
Sylvia: What the....?

 

[Isis]

Spock: "Don't pontificate, Commander, just admit you've made an error. The line in this song is not 'there's a bathroom on the right,' but 'there's a bad moon on the rise.'"

 

[Mistral]

"I'm going to kill every last one of your crewmembers, Kirk, and plunge your life into a living hell! Wait, they're right behind me, aren't they?"

 

[A.V.I.A.F.]

Tal: Commander, we've interrupted an alien transmission coming from this room.

Romulan Commander: There must be some mistake.

Tal: Commander, Spock is holding an alien communicator this very moment.

Romulan Commander: Don't be silly, that's just an electric razor.

Tal (confused): But, why would Commander Spock be holding an electric razor alone with you in your chambers while you are wearing your "come get me" outfit.....oh!

Romulan Commander: Well...?

Tal: I'll just be on my way then.

Tal's henchman (whispering): Do you really think its bifurcated?

Tal: Just shut up and move!

 

[Nerys Myk]

COMMANDER: Excellent, I see Tal has brought the sexual stimulation device. We can proceed

SPOCK:Wait ...what???