TOS Caption Contest #241: Window Shopping!

[A.V.I.A.F.]

Thanks for another great run of hilarious entries. Here are:





Lost in translation!

Kirk: "Mister President, may I introduce you to the leader of Ligon Two?"
Lincoln: "What a delightful planet of charming negresses."
Sulu (os): "Captain, they're locking phasers."

Remember when your only choices were decaf or regular?

Uhura: "Oh, oh!! I'll have a Grande in a Venti 1/3 Decaf 2 pump toffeenut 1 pump vanilla half nonfat, half soy, extra hot, no whip, no foam, extra caramel sauce, caramel machiatto."

Spock ("Breaking the fourth wall"): "Fuck. I hate it when it's my turn to get the coffee."


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Hot crewmembers and loose fitting jumpsuits...always an awkward combination!

Uhura: "Didn't your momma teach you it's not polite to point?"

Bifurcated jokes never get old!

Nurse: Don't worry dear. I'm told it's perfectly normal for Vulcans.
Uhura: There were..two...

This one made me hurt myself!

Shatner (OS): The safe word is "rocket man"

I hear ya man!

Uhura (singing): The moooooooooon's a window to heaven...

Security guy: Is it too late to request a transfer?

Our Photoshop winners are:
Ask and ye shall receive...

CARL: Miss Uhura, please inform A.V.I.A.F. that, "Carl Spock don't do requests."

UHURA: You do realize that he can see you.

CARL: damn

Trekkies of the world...

Kirk: "Well, let me explain. First, the man asked for Carl Spock, not Karl Marx. Second, you're not even in the correct image. You want that one over there... the one with Uhura and Spock."


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From the "funny cos it’s true" file...

Oak Ridge Boy: ELVIRA!

Elvira: What?

Brilliant craftsmanship....

Bill: "You know, Captain, they say space is a straight up cold, dark, bitch, but it doesn't bother me. I mean, have you seen the ice queen I'm married to?"

Kirk: "(Cough-cough) Uh, Mr. President..."

Bill: "I mean... she's like a black hole.... sucking the life out of everything aroun... Aw man, she's right behind me, isn't she?"


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Congratulations to all the winners and thanks to all who entered! This week: the cast of TOS look at the world outside their windows! Have at it!

 

[Gary7]

Kirk: "The laundry chute. Man, all these years and I never realized... fastest way from the bridge right down the hall from my quarters."

Kirk: "I see... crazy people. Nut jobs everywhere. Guess it's time to call for a shipwide shore leave."

Krakow: "Yeah, I see 'em too. What the hell is this 'red hour' you speak of, Kirk?"

Cloud William: Me see funny situation. When bar lose, nothing stop me from hitting you bad. You not think it. Ha, smarty man.

Kirk: "Did you just come from the art studio?"
Lenore: "No... why do you say that?"
Kirk: "You're wearing a crazy painted smock, that's why."

Kirk: "Were is it? I don't see any spinach between my teeth..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Scotty was right, those are ample nacelles.

KIRK: Looks like Occupy Beta 3 is a bust.

MEL: I didn't know Alice and Flo swang that way.

KIRK: I did.




KIRK (thinking): Good lord, I gotta get out before the stench kills me.



KIRK: So, come here often?

LENORE: Uh, you invited me




KIRK: And here's me sitting in my dads old 'vette. Now on to day three of my vacation in Iowa....

MENDEZ: (thinking) If jumped out this window would I be dead before I hit the ground?

 

[Mysterion]

KIRK: Wow. Those guys really do like Paterno.

 

[Captain Tracy]

KIRK: Gee whiz,... I wonder if Scotty knows about this big hole in the side of the ship?

KIRK: Oh C'mon now!!!,... Gene baby,... tell me the truth,... was I,...really,... over-acting,... THAT BAD?

SHATNER: I know,.. I know,... we were all on the call sheet for 6am,... but like I told you guys, once the word got out that SUITS-R-US on Wilshire Blvd lost its lease and was having a 'going out of business sale', it would be a mob scene, and we'd miss all the great deals!

KIRK: (whispering) ,... and,... tee, hee, hee,... I'm wearing,... rubber underwear,..

KIRK: You found it on Spocks computer?,... EEeeewww!!! but,... but, why is Spock dressed in a Little Bo-peep custome?,.. Who are all these bearded naked fat guys Spock keeps calling BEARS???,.. Eeeeewww!!!!

 

[Maurice]

KIRK: So this is where the "window" in Pike's quarters got to!

KIRK: Parallel development maybe I can swallow to a point, but they even make clocks with our same idiotic 12 hours twice a day system? I call bullshit.

KIRK: "I'm not going to pay a lot for this muffler!"

 

[T'Girl]

Real reason Cloud Williams hit Kirk over the head.

Kirk: "We'll just twist it to the right."
Cloud: "No, twist other way better."
Kirk: "Excuse me, going right will loosen the mortar faster>"
Cloud: "Need go left."
Kirk: "Stop fighting me on this, rotate right."
Cloud: "Just listen, twist to the left."
Kirk: "I'm a starship Captain, so twist to the ..."

 

[Gary7]

^ LOL! Good one, T'Girl.

Goldie: "What do you get when you invite a Klingon and a Romulan over for dinner?"
Kirk: "Huh? Where did you come from?"
Goldie: "A helluva good time! hahahahaha!!"

 

[Gary7]

Cloud William: "When we get out, go to Brazilian Barbecue. Me know great place nearby."
Kirk: "Sounds good. Do they have any vegetarian dishes? Mr. Spock is a vegetarian."

Cloud William promptly hits Kirk over the head...

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Kirk: No wonder we can't go to warp. Somebody's left the parking break on!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win!

Kirk: "Holy crap! Are those nacelles supposed to wobble around like that?"

 

[Gary7]

Shatner: "Ahhhhhh!! Very funny, Leonard."
Nimoy: "The look--hahahahaha--on your face--hahahahaha!"

 

[Alrik]

Kirk: "Aw geez, not the Blue Screen of Death again."

Mendez: "I told ya to get a Mac."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kirk: What is "Occupy Beta III"?

 

[Gary7]

Realtor (OS): "And there's a lovely view of the town hall with picturesque mountains looming behind it."
Kirk: "Looks nice. Except..."
Realtor (OS): "Yes?"
Kirk: "Do the townspeople frequently brawl like that?"

 

[Gary7]

Kirk: "Jesus, José... you left a porno tape open on your viewscreen!"
Mendez: *speechless*

 

[ItsGreen]

...a four star hotel room on Talos IV.....I'm on it!

"priceline.... Ne..go..shiay..tor"....

I got a retired Star Fleet Captain who won't need much in the way of accommodiations,
half off on the room, correct? Negotiated!

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Kirk: "How was I to know the James Kirk Child Support Pressure Group was having its annual meeting on this planet?"

Women in Street: "FIND KIRK!!"

 

[T'Girl]

.

Kirk: "You know, this festival isn't nearly as bad as I feared."

Mendez: "And there was no sign of him?"

Kirk: "We searched for Professor Linke all day, not a trace of him."

...

 

[jep]

Kirk: "Wow... those Beiber fans don't take cancellations well, do they?"

Spock (OS): "What's a Beiber?"


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