TOS Caption Contest #240: Open Your Own Damn Frequencies!

[Mr Silver]

Abraham Lincoln: Captain, you must introduce me to your handsome helmsman.

Uhura: Oh sir... It was a giant tin caaaann!

 

[Isis]

Uhura: "Sir, would you give me back the Bluetooth?"

Spock: "Bluetooth? I thought you had the Bluetooth?"

 

[boco]

Chekov: Harnesses were inwented in Russia,keptin,by an old masokist lady from Leningrad

 

[jep]

Uhura: "Oh, oh!! I'll have a Grande in a Venti 1/3 Decaf 2 pump toffeenut 1 pump vanilla half nonfat, half soy, extra hot, no whip, no foam, extra caramel sauce, caramel machiatto."

Spock ("Breaking the fourth wall"): "Fuck. I hate it when it's my turn to get the coffee."


.

 

[Gary7]

Spock: "If I weren't a Vulcan, I would pick up this chair and throw it across the bridge. But, this is not the case, I am in control of my emotions..." *strain*
Uhura: "Mr. Spock, what's wrong?"
Spock: (silence).... "He left the seat up too high again!!"

 

[Isis]

Lincoln: "Meh -- what is this Star Trek? My agent said I had Dancing With the Stars."

 

[Smellincoffee]

Lincoln: "Meh -- what is this Star Trek? My agent said I had Dancing With the Stars."

 

[SeerSGB]

Shatner (OS): The safe word is "rocket man"

Chapel: It's okay.
Uhura: He called it "the Spocker"

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Uhura: We've evolved beyond the need to use words.

Kirk: ....

Lincoln: ....

 

[Gary7]

Lincoln: "Taped music, food that materializes before your eyes, space travel, and... mini skirts. I think I could get to like your time period, Captain."

 

[A.V.I.A.F.]

I wonder if Carl Spock will be making an appearance. (Yes, this is a hint!).
Thank-you,
A.V.I.A.F.

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: He has a Lincolnesque Quality to him...

Uhura: Oh, brother...




Uhura: Transporter Room reports that The Captain has beamed down to the planet.

Spock: Thank you. Mister Sulu, get us out of here!

Sulu: Aye-aye!




Uhura: Hello boys, I've always wanted to play for a captive-

Crewmen enter turbolift and leave

Uhura: Oh, never mind.



Uhura: It just kept going and going and going...

Nurse: I thought they outlawed Energizer Commercials back in the 21st Century.




Chekov: (thinking) Maybe if I stand near Uhura, Khan's attention will be totally on her and he'll forget my face...



Uhura: So then I said to the Captain that he'd better calm down otherwise I'd be filing an official-

Spock: (over comm) This is quite interesting Ms. Uhura, but would you please inform the Captain that the Klingons just captured Earth?

 

[Nerys Myk]

CARL: Miss Uhura, please inform A.V.I.A.F. that, "Carl Spock don't do requests."

UHURA: You do realize that he can see you.

CARL: damn

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Lincoln: And who is that gentleman over there with the shaded spectacles and hair more than half the size of a shell for Robert Mallet's siege mortar?

Kirk: That's Carl Spock, Mister President. As you can see, he boosts morale considerably.

Lincoln: Your ways are truly advanced, Captain!

 

[boco]

Spock: "If I weren't a Vulcan, I would pick up this chair and throw it across the bridge. But, this is not the case, I am in control of my emotions...I am a vulcan, vulcans use logic.It is illogic to brake a chair..Meditate...Surak" *strain*
Uhura: "Mr. Spock, what's wrong?"
Spock: (silence).... "You don't wanna know!!"
(To him self: she did the Basic Instinct Stone Maneuver and she's asking WHAT's wrong??????????)

 

[SeerSGB]

Gene (OS): Okay, Walter, Nichelle, we're cutting the budget next season and only one of you can stay. Now: FIGHT!
Nimoy (OS): Humming TOS fight music

Kirk: This way Mr. President.

Lincoln: Impressive ship...simply amazing...

Kirk: Yes, we know, now please this way so we can return you to your own time so John Wilkes Booth can shoot you in the back of the head.

Lincoln: Shoot who in the what now?

 

[Mistral]

Uhura: "So will we be stopping at Taco Bell for lunch, Mr. Spock?"

Spock: "The purpose of lunch is to ingest nutrients. Stopping at Taco Bell would not be logical."

 

[Nerys Myk]

UHURA: Wait, I thought you said Lincoln was....nevemind, explains a lot actually.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Kirk: This way Mr. President.

Lincoln: Impressive ship...simply amazing...

Kirk: Yes, we know, now please this way so we can return you to your own time so John Wilkes Booth can shoot you in the back of the head.

Lincoln: Shoot who in the what now?

Uhura: When I said that we've learned not to fear words, what I meant was, you ain't gonna be able to tell anyone about us.

 

[Drob]

Beards!