TOS Caption Contest #238: Pimp-Slapped!

[A.V.I.A.F.]

I know I am a little late this week. I’ve been really busy. In return for my lateness I have doubled up on the pics to be captioned and I will be announcing the winners for these in about 2 weeks. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, here are:







Some things are timeless...

Spock: What does Dr McCoy mean by "Happy Ending"?

Sometimes pouting pays off...

Oh give it to me captain, I'll paint myself green just so you can do me like there is no stardate."

Kirk: <mumbles unintelligently>

Didn’t I just say that some things were timeless?...

Kirk:"Aww shit, space herpes simplex XXV, now I'll really have to think where I got that from?"

This week’s Photoshop winners are:

Stroke of genius...

Most illogical, gentlemen. In space, everything is airtight.

Sometimes logic can be a drag...

SPOCK: She is a green alien woman and you are James Kirk. The only logical answer is you are the father. No other answer is possible.

MCCOY: Ahem...

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE WINNERS AND THANKS TO ALL WHO ENTERED!

This week: M’Benga pimp-slaps Spock; Spock pimp-slaps Nancy Crater; Elaan pimp-slaps Kirk; Joaquin pimps-laps Uhura; Amanda pimp-slaps Spock; and then Kirk pimp-slaps himself. Have at it!

 

[Admiral Shran]

Spock: I can see the future, Doctor. The Federation will make peace with the Klingons and then face an enemy even more deadly.... humanoids who resemble little rats with laser whips and a laughable attachment to greed.

M’Benga: Snap the hell out of it man! You're not making any sense.



Spock: Hello. My name is Spock, son of Sarek. You were going to kill my friends. Prepare to die.



Elaan: Never say I resemble Lady Gaga again!



The crew sat transfixed at the ship's theater company's production of Ike and Tina: The Good Years.



Amanda: You ungrateful little brat! You just left me on the planet to die! Did you think I'd just forget about that!

(SLAP!)

(Twentieth century Earth music begins playing.)

Kirk: No Spock, like this.... Walk like an Egyptian.

Spock (offscreen): Most illogical, Captain. Ancient Egyptians undoubtedly walked as we do.

 

[Mr Silver]

Kirk: Talk to the hand, because the face ain't listening!
Spock: This is most illogical Captain, since your hand is not independent from you and therefore by talking to your hand I am talking to each part of you.
Kirk: It's an expression Spock, a physical idiom approach...You should try it sometime
Spock: Very well Captain...

Spock: ...Talk to the hand, because logic isn't interested in solving this situation!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Shatner:

Don't...juststandthere...let'sgettoit...
Strike...apose...there's...nothingtoit...

(five-minute pause)

VOGUE!!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

CHAPEL: Oh no!, You didn't...

 

[Smellincoffee]

Kirk: Heil myself!
(singing) Hi there peoples, you know me
I used to run a little joint called Ekos
I was number one, the people's choice--
And thus, Mel Brooks was officially DIS-INVITED from writing "Patterns of Force".

 

[Nerys Myk]

Why Kirk was eliminated from "And You Think You Can Dance".

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Uhura: "If I were you and I wanted to keep my balls, I'd reconsider."

 

[Mistral]

In the future, MMA fighting made way for Self-Slapping tournaments.

 

[Mistral]

"You need to calm down!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

UHURA: If I lose my wig you're a dead man!!!!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

"Shut up Wesley!"





"Shut up Wesley!"



"Shut up Wesley!"




"Shut up Wesley!"




"Shut up Wesley!"

"Shut up Wesley!"


Gene Roddenberry: "Thanks guys, but I think we'll go with Gates McFadden for Dr Crusher.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

McCoy (offscreen): "You say that the Vulcan hospital you interned with taught you this?"

M'Benga: "Sure. Old Doc T'Shipman taught me everything he knew...I wonder if he's been released yet".



Tearing down from the bridge without warning, Spock burst into her quarters just in the nick of time.

Nancy: "Alright! Alright! I'll cancel the aura-enhancement candles".

Kirk (offscreen): "Spock, you don't have to respond personally to every whim of fanciful illogic on the ship".



Uhura: "Mr. Joaquin! In the language of the seal-people of Weddell III, that's a declaration of undying love".

Joaquin: "Gah! Every time I try and hit her, she reinterprets it as xenolinguistics!"

Khan: "Fine. Hit Scotty instead".

Scotty: "I don't know too much body language, laddie. But I can introduce you to the Glasgow Kiss"



Amanda: "You insensitive bastard! I'll have you know a sehlat did die on my head! I'm having it removed on Monday".

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Nimoy: "I would think you'd be happy! It's Amanda Grayson! Mrs. Sarak! Spock's mother! It's a plum role!"
Wyatt: "But I auditioned for T'Pring!"

 

[Ziriath]

Not a caption, but when I look at this picture, I feel a certain kind of bliss.

 

[jep]

"Gator don't play no shit! You feel me? Gator never been about that. Never, never been about playing no shit! You hear me Janice?"


.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Amanda: Oh, please! In Time is NOTHING like "Repent, Harlequin! Said The Ticktockman"!

 

[Ziriath]

Spock: And they..they built it on the ground!
M'Benga: Wake up, man! You have those strange visions again!

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Elaan: Never say I resemble Lady Gaga again!

(slap)

Elaan: Everybody knows it is she who resembles me.

 

[Isis]

Elaan: "Nobody touches my fuchsia blowdryer, not even you, James T. Kirk!"

Kirk: ♫ ...It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy,
Cuz every now and then I kick the living s**t out of me...
♫