TOS Caption Contest #237: O Captain! My Captain!

[A.V.I.A.F.]

Thanks again for another great week of entries. Hope everyone is enjoying the long weekend! Now, what you’ve all been waiting for, here are:

Bloody marvelous....

Redshirt #1: "A very tall bald man, carrying a big penis shaped stalactite, is heading this way."

Redshirt #2: "Let's politely step out of his way. Here, we'll stand closer to the edge of this bottomless abyss."

Redshirt #1: "What a fine idea."

Extreme dentistry....

As I suspected... no dentures!

One of the best lines ever...

Scotty: How's it going, Mister Harper?

Harper: Almost done.

Daystrom: Harper--Yes. The name of one of my colleagues. He laughed behind my back at the boy wonder and became famous building on my work. Building on my work!

Kirk: Uh-oh.

This week’s photoshop winners are:

After all their complaining, Kirk finally took them all to the zoo!

Missed it by....that much!

Kirk: "Damn... 5 more days and we'd have all won a free set of steak knives."

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Congratulations to all the winners and thanks to all who entered!

This week: Kirk reacts to an indecent proposal from Bones; takes a night course in small appliance repair, and has a headache that’s almost as big as his ego. Have at it!

 

[Mr Silver]

Kirk: Hello?

Spock: What does Dr McCoy mean by "Happy Ending"?

 

[jep]

Kirk: "Which one of you two pissed on my bed?"


.

 

[jep]

Sargon/Kirk: "It's no use.... I can't put Humpty back together again.


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[Deranged Nasat]

Spock: "...and further, Captain, I postulate that Doctor McCoy requests the water pillow simply because I have already logged my own request on the ship's computer".

Kirk (reading): "Insert tab A into slot C....and tab C into slot F. Insert rounded component three alpha into slot nine beta...follow diagram 6. Diagram 6....

....

....Mr. Spock. Declare war on planet Ikea II".

 

[jep]

(Thalassa hands box to Sargon)

Sargon: "A gift? For me?"

Thalassa: "Yes, let's go to captain's quarters and try it out!"

Sargon: "We can't... evidently you didn't realize they use 240 volt current here."


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[huskers57]

Thanks for the win!!




As Spock and McCoy had to remind Kirk... not all species keep their genitals in the same spot.




Dr. Mulgrew: Yes, well, uh, there are minor differences. I am what we call a female.
Captain Kirk: It is the way in which we propagate our species.







Where did I put the dill weed?

 

[Zombie Cheerleader]

MULHALL: I think it needs more salt.

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk: Is my refrigerator running? What the hell is a refrigerator?

Kirk: Spock, can you hear me now.

Spock: Captain, Dr. McCoy has a rather large erection.

Kirk: I Know. I'm trying not to look.

 

[MANT!]

Spock: But what of all those sweet words you spoke in private?
Kirk: Oh that's just what we call pillow talk, baby, that's all.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Kirk:"Aww shit, space herpes simplex XXV, now I'll really have to think where I got that from?"

 

[T'Girl]

It's okay Captain, I understand it happens to a lot of men.

Spock: But what of all those sweet words you spoke in private?

Kirk: Oh that's just what we call pillow talk, baby, that's all.

Kirk: "Now, give me some sugar."

 

[A beaker full of death]

Most illogical, gentlemen. In space, everything is airtight.

 

[Bob Karo]

Kirk: 2,486 parts? Do we really need an Interociter? It's just wedge shaped view screen with built in phasers...

 

[Crewman Commander]

Thanks for the win A.V.I.A.F.

Good Kirk: Why did yeoman Rand slap me? All I did was compliment her appearance.

 

[Vassa]

McCoy: Spock, have you noticed we're his "friends" right up to the moment he might have to sleep on the floor?
Spock: Jim, the good doctor is indeed correct. I suggest rock, scissors, paper to resolve this dillema.

Oh give it up, Jim. You got through Star Fleet Academy by re-programming all your tests so stop pretending.

Can't breathe, girdle too tight!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Muldaur: "Well, I'll be damned! Jimmy Doohan was telling me the truth! It is a rug!"

Spock: "As usual, Captain, your too-smart-by-half, penny-pinching bargaining has screwed us once again!"
Kirk: "How was I supposed to know the 'Three For One' deal meant we all had to share the same girl!"
McCoy: "Are we even sure the deal includes a girl?"

 

[Gary7]

Kirk: "Spock, did you do this?"
McCoy: "I'm sorry, Jim... my maxi-diaper slipped a little."

 

[Gary7]

Kirk: "What kind of people are these Yonadans? One bed for the three of us?"
Spock: "Captain, it is quite alright--I prefer to stand."
McCoy: "C'mon Jim, a little cuddling is a good thing between old friends."

 

[Gary7]

Shatner: "I... can't remember... how to under act!"

Mullhaul: "Captain, I'm just as disappointed in this as you are."
Kirk: "No mechanical genitals... no mechanical genitals..."