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TOS Caption Contest #233: Spocked and Loaded!




SCOTTY: Looks like a 10-82

MCCOY: What's a 10-82?

SPOCK: Disappearing a dead hooker from the Captain's quarters.
 
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Kirk: "I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel..."
 
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Kirk: "What's your opinion, Bones?"

McCoy: "Well, judging by the destroyed furniture, the bottle of Wild Turkey and the syringes of heroin and PCP, my opinion is that she enjoyed getting her freak on."

Kirk: "What's with the donkey smoking the cigarette?"

Spock: "Allow me, Doctor. Captain, did you ever watch the movie 'Bachelor Party'?"

Kirk: "I see. Wow... even I think that's freaky."

Scotty: "It's a shame for a good Scotsman to admit it, but I'm not up on my movies involving drugs, liquor and bestiality... "


.
 



Spock: "EXO III. The future location of Carl Spock's Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good."




Spock: "I'll be back at six with the Toyota. Don't let the space monsters eat ya'. Peace."



Spock: "She appears to be unconscious."

McCoy: "Really, Spock? I couldn't tell."

Scotty: "Ah know, right? Couldn't be more obvious....

... What's unconscious mean? It's an awful big word..."
 

Koenig: I may be wearing a shity rug but at least it matches the hair I have left unlike yours.

Nimoy: OH, SNAP! Shat you just got served!


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Redshirt Ron: That Crocodile Dundee animal hypnotizing shit ain't gonna work on us.
 
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Mr. Spock: "These aren't the droids you're looking for."
Redshirt #2: "What droids?"
Mr. Spock: "That's right."
Redshirt #2: "Seriously, what droids."
Redshirt #1: "Sir, that's a old tricycle."
Mr. Spock: "This isn't the old tricycle you're looking for."

:)
 


Spock: Your Monopoly roll will land you on Exo III. It will cost you $200 to buy otherwise it will go to auction and Doctor McCoy is hoping to build houses there.




Spock: Head down that dark and dangerous alley. Make sure it's safe for the Captain and myself.



Scotty: What does that sign say?

Spock: "Welcome to Memory Alpha, 364 days without an on the job death."
 


Spock: This planet has a Kissable Factor of 7.



Spock: In the absence of my brother, Carl, "Peace."



Kirk: Why is it that we can almost never go to a Starfleet Ship or installation and find anyone alive?
 


Spock: We need assistance from local law enforcement. Go into the courthouse behind you and get two men, preferably the the Sheriff and a Deputy.
 


Spock: Sheriff Andy Taylor and Deputy Barney Fife should be coming around that corner in a few moments. Set phasers to maximum.
 


McCoy: "She's dead, Jim."
Kirk: "Refresh my memory, Bones: How much are we paying you?"




Spock: "The courthouse is secure. I stunned Sheriff Taylor with a neck pinch, and the captain talked Deputy Fife into self-destructing."
 
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Spock: Very good, Mr. Chekov! That was in fact the mating call of the Eurasian Blackbird. Now see if you can recognize this 20th century Terran bird-song.

Kirk (off-screen):
Can we get back to the mission now, Mr. Spock?
 
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Spock: "Bifurcated," gentlemen, means that it is shaped like this. Of course, you could have just asked your mamas.

Redshirt on the left: Oh, ok....hey, wait a minute?
 
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Kirk: Would either of you care to explain this?

McCoy: Well, I think she's dead Jim.

Kirk: I know that, I meant that godawful outfit she's wearing.

McCoy: I'm afraid I don't follow you, Jim.

Spock: I believe the Captain's question is meant to be rhetorical, Doctor. "I know what you mean Jim; looks like someone shot the couch," would be an appropriate reply.
 
heh, I've been "Spocked and Loaded" for almost a decade :biggrin:

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Scotty: Ugggghh, what stinks????

Spock: Well this woman has been dead for approximately 6 days, soooo...

Bones: Basically her insides have been liquifying and creating noxious gasses that have been venting through the several orifices and clouding here in this enclosed space.

Kirk: Lunch, gentlemen?
 
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Red Shirt #1: "This is my first experience with time travel, where are we?"

Red Shirt #2: "Some post-atomic horror, by the looks of it."

Spock: "Detroit, circa 2011, Riverfront's right over there."

:)
 
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