Spock (into intercom): No, captain, the technicians still haven't figured out what turned Uhura from black to white. But it appears to be the same "Peter Pan Syndrome" responsible for turning Arex into a blond human as well.
TOS Caption Contest #226: Comm Jobs
- Thread starter Rat Boy
- Start date
Spock (into intercom): No, captain, the technicians still haven't figured out what turned Uhura from black to white. But it appears to be the same "Peter Pan Syndrome" responsible for turning Arex into a blond human as well.
Kirk, reading: "CPM IS A SXST DCHBG". Is this a new cipher you're testing, lieutenant?
Spock: First Officer's log. Switching to plum-colored coveralls seems to have diminished random fatalities from both shipboard accidents and alien intruders. Reccommend fleetwide adoption.
Chekov: NOOOOOOO!
Uhura:...
Sulu, wincing: Not everything is a double entendre, man!
Mason: Hey, babe -- why so blue?
Tavas: Oh, THAT's original.
Mason: It's like, clever, right? Blue. Because YOU're blue, and --
There's a reason some officers stay ensigns forever.
Uhura: "If you don't stop trying to look down my blouse I'm going to smack you so hard your teeth are going to beat the turbolift to Deck 5!"
Uhura: "Message coming in from Starfleet Command, Captain! Message reads: 'To Commander, USS Enterprise. From Admiral Komack, Starfleet Command. Have received reports of violations aboard your ship of Starfleet regulations pertaining to uniforms. Said violations reportedly instigated by yourself as commanding officer. Please be advised that standard Starfleet female duty uniform does--repeat DOES--include pants! Suggest you rectify situation immediately, including full personal apologies to all female crew members.'"
Kirk (sighs): "Well...it was fun while it lasted."
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KIRK: You're quite nimble with those fingers, Lieutenant.
Come to my quarters when you're off-duty. Tonight.
I'll bring the lotion.
SPOCK: Aye, sir. The repairs to make the communications panel buttons blink more brightly and even more out-of-sequence are going as planned.
I expect Miss Uhura to be going into seizures within the next four solar hours.
CHEKOV: De radio station picked my number!!!
DEY PICKED MY NUMBER!!! I VON!!!
UHURA: Starfleet Command isn't responding, sir. I've tried every possible frequency...even the emergency bands. What should I do now?
KIRK: Start singing that awful-ass tune you sang when Charlie Evans was aboard.
If Starfleet doesn't respond to THAT...even if it's to say "shut the hell up"...NOTHING will work.
Kirk: "Sometimes it's the most difficult situations from which we learn the most. Did you learn anything from our recent encounter with the Platonians?"
Uhura: "As a matter of fact, Captain, I did."
Kirk: "Well, Lieutenant, would you care to enlighten me?"
Uhura: "Well, no matter how much awesomeness a person has, if a visit to telekinetic aliens is on the schedule, don't have the garlic-onion sauté for lunch."
Kirk: "Are you absolutely sure, Lt ? "
Uhura: "Yes sir, people are getting your friend requests on Spacebook, they're just not confirming them. "
Intercom: I'm sorry but you must dial a one first before dialing this frequency.
Uhura: I thought the Doc was the only one to get explosive diarrhea.
Chekov could never resist acting out whenever he heard the ancient "Rocky" theme being played over the ship's commsystem.
UHURA: I'm trying, sir.
But I can't seem to override the panel and change the station's viewscreens to all-new pastel drawings.