TOS Caption Contest #226: Comm Jobs

Discussion in 'Star Trek - The Original & Animated Series' started by Rat Boy, May 28, 2011.

  1. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

    Time flies when you're getting some and it is time for another caption contest. First, let's present...

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    She's strict...

    Never get high on your own supply...

    Details...

    To our wives and girlfriends: may they never meet...

    Congratulations to the winners. This week, Uhura takes a memo, Spock takes a break from shooting his latest music video, Chekov discovers he's won the Bolian lottery, and Captain Mason ponders going blue. Enjoy:

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  2. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "For God's sake, will you stop playing Angry Birds and get some work done?"

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    Spock: "Yes, Captain, I know. This is what we get for switching to Comcast."

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    Chekov: "Yahoo! She said yes!"

    Uhura: "Yes to what?"

    Chekov: "Having coffee."

    Uhura: "That's it?"

    Chekov: "Let me have my moment."

    [​IMG]

    Tavas: "Sickbay reports 18 female crew members suddenly became pregnant, Captain."

    Mason: "Okay, that's the last time we rendezvous with Enterprise."
     
  3. jep

    jep Captain Captain

    Joined:
    May 22, 2005
    Location:
    Southeast USA
    [​IMG]


    Uhura: "White men can't jump."


    .
     
  4. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2001
    Location:
    The Warped Sector of the Demented Quadrant
    [​IMG]

    UHURA: No response to our hails, sir.

    It appears the Commodore has decided we're annoying as hell and no longer worth the bother.

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    SPOCK: Yes, Captain. The installation of Windows 25.0 is proceeding as planned.

    I predict the new upgrades will be fully operational in less than three solar hours.

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    Now can't you see me warping here I've got my hands against the helming machine...

    I ain't the worst that you've seen...

    Oh, can't you see what I meaaaaaaaaaaan...

    Might as well JUMP...
     
    Last edited: May 28, 2011
  5. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2001
    Location:
    The Warped Sector of the Demented Quadrant
    [​IMG]

    KIRK: Stop playing with that damned Simon game and get back to work, Lieutenant.
     
  6. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2009
    Location:
    T'Girl
    [​IMG]

    Malfunctions forced Kirk to have Uhura manually enter his personal log,

    Kirk:
    " ... and then after removing her slinky evening dress I proceeded to stroke her soft ripe full ... '

    Uhura:
    "Will someone kill me now."

    [​IMG]

    Spock:

    "Find a few more crew members to beam down into a highly dangerous situation,
    yes Captain, just let me take a quick look around."

    .
     
  7. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2001
    Location:
    The Warped Sector of the Demented Quadrant
    [​IMG]

    KIRK: Tell Commodore Wesley I'm not here right now. I don't want to talk to that self-righteous prick.

    UHURA: Sir...

    he can HEAR you.

    [​IMG]

    SPOCK: This is the last time we hire contractors who aren't bonded.

    Cheaper my ASS.
     
  8. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    [​IMG]

    Chekov: "Heads up, Uhura! Cartwheel comin' atcha!!"
     
  9. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2001
    Location:
    The Warped Sector of the Demented Quadrant
    [​IMG]

    MENTOS

    The Galactic Freshmaker. (TM)
     
  10. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
    [​IMG]

    Spock (to self): "If they had told me that the awesomeness was included for those filling in for the captain, I would have done it sooner."
     
  11. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    AI Generated Madness
    [​IMG]

    UHURA: Do I hover over you when you do....what ever the hell it is that you do?

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    SPOCK: I've no idea what happened. It was working fine when Uhura and I were alone on the bridge late last night.

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    CHEKOV: Shift over....Chekov out, bitches!

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    TAVAS: It's true, once you go blue...no other will do.
     
  12. jayrath

    jayrath Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2001
    Location:
    West Hollywood, Calif., USA
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    LIEUTENANT: Mr. Spock, we've travelled so far in space that earth's first television broadcasts are only now reaching us!

    CREWMEN: (singing) We are the men from Texaco, we work from Maine to Mexico . . . And now, Uncle Spocky!

    [Okay, only early TV buffs will get this.]
     
  13. jayrath

    jayrath Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2001
    Location:
    West Hollywood, Calif., USA
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    TAVAS: This bridge seems so much larger, compared to-

    MASON: Hey! I just got out of the pool!
     
  14. jayrath

    jayrath Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2001
    Location:
    West Hollywood, Calif., USA
    [​IMG]

    UHURA: Captain, why are your arms always behind your back?

    KIRK: Roddenberry wouldn't let us have pockets!

    [​IMG]

    LIEUTENANT: Mr. Spock, why are your arms always behind-

    SPOCK: Not everyone keeps their -- let it go, ask Roddenberry.
     
  15. Expo67

    Expo67 Captain

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2011
    Location:
    Lexington, Kentucky
     
  16. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2009
    Location:
    T'Girl
    Tech One: "What's this strange greenish substance?"
    Tech Two: "It's kind of gooey and sticky."
    Lt. Palmer: "Smell familiar."

    :)
     
  17. Gil T.Azell

    Gil T.Azell Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2005
    Location:
    Gil T.Azell
    [​IMG]


    Chekov: "Whoo hoo I am NOT the father, thank you Maury"
     
  18. Ssosmcin

    Ssosmcin Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2002
    Location:
    ssosmcin
    [​IMG]

    Kirk (thinking): I can totally see down her shirt.


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    Tech: Here's the trouble. A dried Jolly Rancher.
    Palmer: That must be the one Spock dropper earlier.
    Tech 2: But he found it. Said something about the "two second rule."
    Palmer: Then what the hell does he have in his mouth?

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    After the fiftieth utterance of "it was inwented in Russia," someone hit the "Navigator Eject Switch." No charges were filed because everyone took credit for it.

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    Everyone knew the captain was on something; he seemed much more animated than usual.
     
  19. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
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    Crewman (to self): "This new crewwoman is clearly an overachiever. When she said she'd keep an antenna out for the Romulans, I didn't realize she meant it literally."
     
  20. Gary7

    Gary7 Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2007
    Location:
    ★•* The Paper Men *•★
    Thanks for the selection, Ratboy. :)

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    Spock was so ashamed... what was he thinking? Suddenly overcome with an inability to control his bladder, he relieved himself discreetly before one of the consoles, which in turn shorted out a whole bank of circuits.


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    Uhura: (thinking to herself) *Sniff, sniff* Dammit, there he goes again, sneaking up behind me as if I wouldn't notice. Wearing Aqua Velva is like hanging a bell around your neck.


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    Chekov: "Yes, I finally did it! High score!! Sulu, eat your heart out."

    .
     
    Last edited: May 30, 2011