TOS Caption Contest #216: What's Wrong With This Picture?

[Rat Boy]

Sensors indicate the approach of a new caption contest. First, let's zap...

It's so easy to kick a man when he's down...

Kirk: "Charlie Sheen just beamed aboard."

Spock: He must have heard that we were shooting Two and a Half Men, but we're just disposing of what's left of those 5 redshirts.

The man truly was a genius...

Brent:<checks out Drea> "God bless you, William Thiess"

Deadpan references to Airplane never get old...

McCoy: Jim, it's about your physical.
Kirk: My physical? What is it?
McCoy: It's an examination to determine how healthy you are. But that's not important right now.

I'm surprised. I was half-expecting the saloon to be filled to capacity before the end of the contest...

McCoy: "Sorry bud, we don't serve your kind in here."


.

Congratulations to the winners. This week, we discover Sulu hates decaf, what happens when you let Scotty into Carl Spock's stash, and Kirk just being glad he's not confronting the Kurt Russell version of Wyatt Earp. Have fun:

 

[Rat Boy]

Sulu: "That was poop I just sat in, wasn't it?"

Kirk: "Say, this looks like a great party, Scotty, mind if we...wait, what's up with the dead guy?"

Scotty: "No bloody idea!"

Kirk: "And why does he keep insisting that he's my huckleberry?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

SULU: Oops, I just dropped my drink on that console...meh what's the worst that could happen?

[GeoffPeterson]Sex Party![/GeoffPeterson]

KIRK: Why yes, some folks call me the Space Cowboy...

 

[LeadHead]

Sulu: Aye Sir. Changing course.

Computer: Just what do you think you're doing Hikaru?

Scotty: Hi there Captain!

Kirk: We've gotten noise complaints.

Spock: Yeah, the music's too loud you son of a-

Kirk Holds Spock Back

Kirk: Can you at least stop playing the song: "Vulcans Suck" over and over?

Kirk: Don't I have rights?

Cop: Of course not, this is America.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kirk: No thanks, I don't want to join the Village People.

 

[Isis]

Scottystein: "Oy vey, don't be so negative. It's nothing I can't fix with a little chicken soup."

 

[ItsGreen]

I'll make one more attempt to get through to you mister,
my name is not Clanton, it Eastwood, Clint Eastwood!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Shatner: "De Kelley says you're no Burt Lancaster...and if you want to do anything about it, he'll be out on the street in ten minutes."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Sulu: Oh, my ... someone put a roofie in my drink! Hope no one takes advantage of me ... captain.
Kirk (off-camera): Oh, for God's sake, Hikaru, I'm not going to take advantage of you.

Kirk: I see Scotty's been selling drugs again.

Kirk: You, sir, are no Kurt Russell. And you, sir, are no Val Kilmer.

 

[ItsGreen]

-Don't worry Mr. Scott, when Spock is finished with her, you're next!
-Aye Captain

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

KirK: Another dead, bald male stripper, Scotty?
Scotty: It wouldna be one of meh parties without one.

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the co-win!

Sulu: Oh, no. This coffee... Oh no!

Kirk: What does it taste like?

Sulu: Decaf!

McCoy: He's dead on his feet, Jim.

Scotty: So then, the other redshirts started complaining that they didn't have a chance to survive away missions, so I beamed them down with body armor.

Kirk: Scotty, we're nowhere near a habitable planet.

Scotty: Whoops.

A Brief clip from the soon to be released Trek expansion for Red Dead Redemption.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kirk: Mr. Reynolds, this situation is not 'shiny'. And why do you keep calling me a purple belly?

 

[ItsGreen]

Oh-no. Who put ex-lax in my coffee again.

 

[ToMaHaKeR]

Kirk: ''Red alert! Mr. Sulu, prepare to fire phasers! Mr. Sulu?''
Sulu: ''But captain... The red light in the middle doesn't glow. There's an enemy vessel, and it doesn't glow! WHY it doesn't glow?! Oh captain, I thought we were SAFE on this starship, but NO! OH GOD, I DON'T WANNA DIE YOUNG...''

 

[Maurice]

SULU: Two Girls One C... OH MY! What have I been drinking?!

KIRK: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Kirk: You want me to...teach you to swagger?

 

[jep]

Kirk: "Wow Marshall, is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"



.

 

[jep]

Kirk: "So if you're not Marshall Dillon, then who are you, Festus?"



.

 

[Isis]

Sulu (to self): "I hate when the person on the shift before yours is a slob."

Cowboy on left: "How dare you disrespect us by wearing the top of your pajamas in here."