TOS Caption Contest #203: Sunday Driver

[jep]

Spock: Captain, you appear stressed... allow me to help you.
*ZIP*
Kirk: What are you do—
slurp...slurp...slurp...

That was sick...

 

[jep]

McCoy: "Jim, he's done it again..."

Kirk: "Who? Done What?"

McCoy: "Leslie. He's cut another peephole through the wall into Yeoman Rand's shower."

Leslie: "That's it baby... now drop the soap... come on... drop it. That's a.... (gasp) good girl."


.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk (to McCoy): "Kyle? Manning the helm? And how did he get so buff? What the hell's going on?"
McCoy: "Forget it, Jim, none of this is real...not even you and me. We're just in one of Sulu's dreams."

 

[Gary7]

McCoy: "Jim, what did Lt. Kyle do that was so bad?"
Kirk: "I don't want to go into it, Bones."
McCoy: "But why helmsman? Aren't there far worse punishments?"
Kirk: "I guess you haven't noticed what Sulu is doing to him. Under the..."
Sulu (OS): "Oh, my!" (big grin)

 

[Gary7]

McCoy: "Jim, this obsession with the Rocky Horror Picture Show is unsettling. I will NOT dress up as Riff Raff! And I sure as hell can't figure how you got Kyle to be Rocky."

Spock (OS): "Captain, I believe Mr. Chekov will accept the role of Riff Raff. Yeoman Rand wants to be Janet. And if you don't mind, I will be Brad."

Sulu (OS): "Captain, can I please be Magenta?"

Kyle: (to himself) "I think I'm gonna be sick..."


(nod to Nerys Myk for starting it)

 

[Gary7]

McCoy: "Jim, I gotta hand it to you. Putting Lt. Kyle on daiquiri duty was one of the best command decisions you've made yet."

 

[LeadHead]

McCoy: Jim, ole boy, glad you came by. I decided the crew needed an afternoon drink, or two, or ten.

Kirk: Bones, this is dangerous. Who's watching over things?

McCoy: Leslie back there, he's watching those scanners, says there ain't nothin for miles.

Leslie: Whoa! Klingon ships look cool when they're firing at stuff!

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Spock: "Give it a little more gas when lifting up on the clutch, Captain. But be advised; if you stall out one more time, I'm afraid I'll have to fail you on your shuttle test."

Seven! That was mine!

Spock; "We've got a full battery, half a pack of cigarettes, it's on the dark side of the moon and only one of us is wearing our inner eyelids."
Kirk; "I've been on worse road trips."

 

[Mr Silver]

Spock; "We've got a full battery, half a pack of cigarettes, it's on the dark side of the moon and only one of us is wearing our inner eyelids."
Kirk; "I've been on worse road trips."

Dr Spocko: "As your Attorney, I advise you to take a hit out of the small brown bottle in my shaving kit"

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "So if Kyle's here, who's running the transporter room?"

Kirk: "Rand. I figured nothing really bad could happen."

 

[milo bloom]

McCoy: "Jim, he's done it again..."

Kirk: "Who? Done What?"

McCoy: "Leslie. He's cut another peephole through the wall into Yeoman Rand's shower."

Leslie: "That's it baby... now drop the soap... come on... drop it. That's a.... (gasp) good girl?"


.

...fixed...

 

[MANT!]

Damn Coach Class...I'm cramping up..Next time we fly on American, it's gotta be Business Class...

 

[LeadHead]

Spock: Captain, there is an odd energy being following us.

Kirk: Curses, I was hoping for an android or insane computer, I've been brushing up on Computer-Destroying Paradoxes.

 

[Gary7]

McCoy: "Did I what? Did I notice the earring? As if there wasn't something else I should be noticing?"

Kirk: "Mr. Kyle, why don't you get going on those daiquiris we were just talking about. Our good doctor here sure could use one."

 

[Mistral]

Kirk: "So, shouldn't one of us be doing something?"

Spock: "And risk our perfect record???"

 

[ItsGreen]

-Jim this man has to be gotten to a hospital.
-A hospital? What is it?
-It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.


(R.I.P. Leslie Neilson)

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Spock: I do not see anything Captain.

Kirk: I'm telling you! It was right there on the wing!

 

[LeadHead]

Spock: The oxygen levels are falling Captain.

Kirk: Why?

Spock: You left the door open for the camera again.

Director: Cut!

 

[jep]

Spock: "It's been 2 hours, Captain. I do not believe the water for our tea is ever going to get hot."


.

 

[Gary7]

Kirk: "Queen to Queen's level three."
Spock: "Queen to King's level one. Checkmate. You should have seen that one coming, Jim."
Kirk: "I should have remembered to load some other games into the computer. Eight hours to go... I think I've had just about enough chess for the rest of the year, Spock."