TOS Caption Contest #203: Sunday Driver

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Open the hangar deck doors, Scotty."

Scotty: "I'm sorry Jim, but I can't do that right now."

Spock: "Told you we should have brought our helmets."

 

[ItsGreen]

-I believe One Point Twenty One Gigawatts will be sufficient Captain.

-I hope your calculations are correct Mr. Spock. We'll have to get this baby up to 88 miles per hour!

 

[LeadHead]

Spock: This man was apparently killed by weapons fire.

Kirk: Look at this, Spock. Those aren't the patterns of a standard phaser.

Spock: Correct, they are the patterns of an Early Starfleet Phase Pistol.

Kirk: Well then, it looks like we have...

Kirk puts on sunglasses

Kirk: A Blast from the Past.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Spock: Captain, how long until we reach Starbase 47?

Kirk: I can't tell.

Spock: You can tell me, I'm your first officer.

Kirk: No, I mean I'm just not sure.

Spock: Can you not attempt a guess?

Kirk: Well, I think...not for another two hours.

Spock: You can't take a guess for another two hours?

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: What's this?

KIRK: I'm not sure.

SPOCK: What's it about?

KIRK: I don't know.

SPOCK: Who's that?

KIRK: I think the guy in the hat did something terrible.

SPOCK: Like what?

KIRK: You're so analytical! Sometimes you just have to let art... flow... over you.

 

[milo bloom]

Kirk: "Well, to pass the time I guess we'll watch this video Chekov sent along, he didn't say what it was though..."

Spock: "Two females only? This should prove an interesting lesson in human relationship dyanmic -WHAT IN THE NAME OF SURAK'S SEVEN SONS ARE THEY DOING?!"

 

[Ssosmcin]

McCoy: "Kyle farted. Pass it on."

Leslie: "Christ, please don't."

Spock: "Ah, yes. Commissioner Headford."
Kirk: "You get it now?"
Spock: "I will shortly."

Spock: "Captain, who is this 'David Vincent' and why does he suspect you of being 'an Invader'?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "All right, so the extra leg room wasn't such a good idea."

Now Kirk was convinced that the first time with cordrazine wasn't an accident.

 

[LeadHead]

Kyle: Reading a shuttlecraft coming in Sir.

Peter Griffin: (over comm) "Uh, hello ground people? Uh, we, we got a little problem up here. Uh, we need some help or we're gonna crash... So uh, that being the case, um... is it cool if I shut off "Last Holiday?" It seems unfair that the last thing these people might see is a mediocre comedy featuring Queen Latifah on skis. Cleveland, look! She just fell over! She can't stand up on those things."

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Of course he's Mr Sulu. I'm a doctor, Jim. A keen sense of observation is crucial to what I do!

KIRK: Remind me to schedule my next physical with M'Benga.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Had the silly thing in reverse.
Spock: Da-da-da-that's all folks!

 

[M'Sharak]

"Naah, what happened was: Sulu stepped out to take
a leak and Kyle here beamed himself straight into th'
chair. Far as I c'n tell, he's been doin' a great job, too!"

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "Queen to Queen's level three."
Spock: "Queen to King's level one. Checkmate. You should have seen that one coming, Jim."
Kirk: "I should have remembered to load some other games into the computer. Eight hours to go... I think I've had just about enough chess for the rest of the year, Spock."

Spock: "Then I take it you're good with me blocking out a couple hours New Year's morning for the resumption of our game."

 

[Ssosmcin]

Spock: "Captain, do you smell som--"
Kirk: "I went boom-boom."

 

[LeadHead]

Spock: Landing in 30 seconds Captain.

Kirk: Glad we remembered we had shuttles aboard. Otherwise Sulu and the rest of the landing party would be stranded in the cold, needlessly while we tried to transport my evil twin and I back together.

 

[Maurice]

KIRK: What happened to Sulu?
BONES: That IS Sulu. Remember the "yellow pixel"?
SULU: Oh my!

SPOCK: Wait, where'd that partial wall come from?
KIRK: Better question: where'd the REST of the wall go?

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000101/SPOCK: It's 106 light years to Chicago, we got a full tank of antimatter, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we've got the viewports closed.
KIRK: Hit it.